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77 Funny friends quotes

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  • We hate the same people and it’s so romantic.

    Commentary:
    “Couples who roast together, toast together! 🔥😂❤️”

  • You’re no Sultan of Swing, buddy, you’re hardly a Governor of Groove.

    Commentary:
    “More like the Count of Clumsy! 🎶🕺🤪”

  • They should invent a day where I don’t think.

    Commentary:
    “National ‘Brain on Vacation’ Day! Sign me up for the parade! 🧠🎈😴”

  • Sometimes a girl has to delete all the apps on her phone and not speak to anyone for a week to find true happiness.

    Commentary:
    “BRB, deleting my phone… if you don’t hear from me soon, I’ve found Nirvana! 📵😂🧘‍♀️”

  • My entire life changed once I found out that a crush is just a lack of information.

    Commentary:
    “When I found out a crush is just a lack of information, I realized my whole life was basically a WiFi dead zone. 📶❌😅”

  • Making eye contact with strangers on the sidewalk and saying “it’s crazy that they just let me walk around, haha”.

    Commentary:
    “Suddenly, it’s a sidewalk stand-up show! 😂👀 #FreelanceComedian”

  • Oh, that’s nothing a sudden burst of completely disproportionate rage won’t solve.

    Commentary:
    “When life gives you lemons, unleash your inner Hulk! 🥊🍋😂”

  • My kids and I have this bit where I say something and they ignore me.

    Commentary:
    “Ah, the classic ‘Invisible Parent Act’—an enduring performance worthy of a standing ovation… from no one. 🎭🙈 #ParentingComedy”

  • Dating app that matches you based on your risk tolerance for airport arrival timing.

    Commentary:
    “Finally, a way to find someone who won’t judge me for sprinting through terminals like it’s an Olympic sport! 🏃‍♂️😂✈️”

  • I wonder how my close personal beloved friend Taylor Swift is doing today.

    Commentary:
    “Probably writing another hit about how she needs to call her BFF… and yes, that’s you! 😂🎶 #SwiftSquad”

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