Wordgag ツ

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇹🇼 has viewed:

Be warned: I’m bored. This could get dangerous.

Someone from 🇫🇯 has viewed:

I keep forgetting i’m at the age where people will tell me they’re pregnant and my reaction is supposed to be positive.

Someone from 🇱🇰 has copied:

The phrase “Treat yourself” has ruined my bank account and waistline.

Someone from 🇰🇼 has viewed:

Last night my guardian angel came to me, covered me up, gave me a kiss on the forehead and whispered in my ear: “You’re a pain in the ass!”

Someone from 🇵🇪 has downloaded:

I just wanna buy $16 worth of a meme coin and sell it for $2.6M two weeks later.

Someone from 🇺🇿 has viewed:

I drive home so quick after work like I’m late for the house.

Someone from 🇸🇴 has bookmarked:

How to have flat stomach: remove all of your organs.

Someone from 🇬🇹 has shared:

Nothing more humiliating than sending a text message with a picture and the picture doesn’t send for ages and now you’ve said something sooo odd out of context.

Someone from 🇹🇻 has downloaded:

Children really brighten up a home. They never turn the lights off, …

Someone from 🇬🇪 has copied:

The question of whether an employer values its employees is sometimes answered by the toilet paper.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

calculating…

Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Updated

Feb 3, 2026

Users Online

3,293

Social Media Log 💫

Just shared via Reddit:

“You’re an athlete,” I whisper to myself, as I begin my third attempt to get out of the couch.

Shared recently on LinkedIn:

You cannot hurt me. You are not a hip-height table corner.

Just shared via Messenger:

Can someone please invent 8 hours between 9 p.m. and midnight?

Spotted on Twitch:

As a parent you get to see just how much a baby accomplishes in its first year of life. Because you’re awake for all of it.

Spreading quickly via YouTube:

The older I get, the more I treat birthdays like one-night stands and just pretend they didn’t happen.

Broadcasted on Discord:

I haven’t given up on my fairy-tale ending. I still plan to be eaten by a wolf.

Making waves on Messenger:

Oh, you’re in a situationship? Which one are you, the liar or the loser?

Spotted on Messenger:

Sometimes I wish I was a millennial, so I could talk about sex with my friends.

Just landed via Messenger:

I’ve got the longest to-do list for today, just need to figure out who is going to do it.

Just shared via Pinterest:

Insane that you have to defend yourself at the end of the Ph. D.! Why are you attacking me? I’m so tired.

Funny gamble quotes

Funny gamble quotes 🎲💸 bring laughter to the thrill of taking risks! Whether you’re rolling the dice or betting it all, these witty lines turn luck and chance into pure comedy 🎰😂. Perfect for sharing with friends or easing the tension at the poker table, get ready to smile and maybe even rethink your next big bet! Ready to laugh your chips off? Let’s dive in! 🎉🃏

New funny gamble quotes 👇

All funny gamble quotes & images can be used for free for non-commercial purposes 👌

Funny Quotes Collections
✨ New Funny Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

29 shares on WhatsApp this month:

Don’t compare yourself with others. Everyone is better than you.

69 shares on Facebook this month:

People pass a joint around like it’s no big deal, but the minute I ask someone to do that with their Subway sandwich, I’m a weirdo.

52 shares on Instagram this month:

Females be naked so much online, I be like, damn, I bet she look good in a sweater.

98 shares on WhatsApp this month:

I made you something special for Mother’s Day, my kid threatened.

21 shares on TikTok this month:

You should be allowed to leave work early if you miss your wife enough.

42 shares on Telegram this month:

Arkansas is just Kansas for pirates.

48 shares on Snapchat this month:

I don’t like the person I become when I’m alone in the break room with a box of donuts.

71 shares on Snapchat this month:

It triggers the little girl in me when I feel like I’m not being listened to when I’m talking.

78 shares on LinkedIn this month:

Other people: You should get out of your comfort zone. Me: You should get out of my comfort zone.

35 shares on Reddit this month:

Living up to your potential sounds exhausting.

Trending Topics 📁

activity communication day food frustration fun humor i irony joke just know life love me media people procrastination relationship sarcasm social social media someone technology time want work

Hot Jokes 💥

17 folks are currently checking 👀

Starting drama with me the week before my period is an absolutely terrible idea – for you.

13 folks are currently checking 👀

If my neighbors would just talk a little louder I could follow along with their conversation, but no. Rude.

21 folks are currently checking 👀

Can I be 20 again? I know what to do this time.

13 folks are currently checking 👀

I’m saving myself for my vibrator.

25 folks are currently checking 👀

Boss: You’ll never find another job like this. Me: That’d be great.

25 folks are currently checking 👀

It’s so hot, I just saw a squirrel fanning its nuts.

16 folks are currently checking 👀

Dudes be named Will but won’t.

16 folks are currently checking 👀

Don’t believe in yourself, you can’t do it.

16 folks are currently checking 👀

I’ve been following this strict diet all week and so far all I’ve lost is my patience.

15 folks are currently checking 👀

I autograph every hotel Bible I find with “Best wishes, JC”.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

calculating…

Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Updated

Feb 3, 2026

Users Online

3,700

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇹🇩 has viewed:

Which one of you shrunk all of my jeans?

Someone from 🇸🇻 has viewed:

Hyphenated. Non-hyphenated. The irony.

Someone from 🇨🇬 has bookmarked:

As an exorcist, whenever I hear of some new poor soul possessed by a demon, all I can think is Ka-Ching!

Someone from 🇰🇬 has viewed:

I know some people don’t like me, but what can I do, not everyone has good taste.

Someone from 🇩🇰 has viewed:

Don’t buy roses for her, buy chicken nuggets. Show her you really care.

Someone from 🇦🇿 has copied:

They are all liars, so just pick the tallest and enjoy.

Someone from 🇧🇯 has downloaded:

You know what brought my home value up? Not having an angry man in it.

Someone from 🇨🇷 has copied:

Instead of those cute mini pizzas, they should invent gigantic ones that take four people to carry.

Someone from 🇮🇳 has downloaded:

You should get one IG story in addition to your one phone call when you’re arrested.

Someone from 🇰🇼 has shared:

Instead of working on making myself a better person, I am going to purchase a cool new jacket.

Social Media Log 💫

Making waves on TikTok:

The only ‘survival horror’ game I play is called ‘getting up every day and leaving the house.

Seen just now on Instagram:

If you are into coding, pivot to hunting and gathering.

Going viral on Slack:

Not to brag, but I just stood up without making a sound. Don’t be jealous.

Going bananas on Reddit:

Wow, pretty rude for people to exist who are younger and hotter than me, but OK.

Just shared via TikTok:

How does one stop eating ice cream when there’s still some in the container?

Trending via Pinterest:

Seeing my kids getting along, laughing, and peacefully playing together is the best minute of my day.

Breaking via Pinterest:

Reverse cowgirl, so we can both address the elephant in the room.

Making waves on Facebook:

We’d all look younger if we just avoided young people.

Just landed via Snapchat:

Why does everyone always think that I know what I’m doing? Most of the time I watch myself in amazement and am curious to see what happens.

Breaking via Reddit:

Bowling: The most fun you can have wearing someone else’s shoes.

© 2026. All rights reserved.

Made with ❤️ in Sydney ☀️🌴