Commentary:
"Sorry, I can't join you tonight – my mortgage and I are having a cozy Netflix date. Gotta make sure my money feels appreciated! 💰🏠 #HomebodyLife"
167 Funny getting quotes
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- Anyone got any good sins for someone just getting into sinning?
- One thing I miss about the pandemic is getting to rip my mask off like I just botched a surgery.
- I’m now at the age where sitting cross-legged on the floor is punishable by about three days of full-body paralysis.
- I’m not getting fatter. I’m increasing my content.
- Getting a nose ring, so I don’t lose my keys.
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- Aging gracefully is like getting steamrolled gracefully, you should really be screaming.
- Rent really don’t make no sense. Like, why is my apartment getting a raise every year? Who is doing the performance review?
- My toxic trait is destroying my room every time I get dressed.
- You can’t keep running away from your problems, you’re getting older and your kids are getting faster.
- Now that the nights are getting cooler again, spiders often hide in your bed in search of warmth. Sleep well!
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