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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇹🇻 has downloaded:

They should invent friends whose schedules line up with yours.

Someone from 🇦🇩 has bookmarked:

Spent 20 minutes training ChatGPT to write the perfect anniversary note for my wife, so don’t try to tell me I’m not romantic.

Someone from 🇦🇷 has shared:

A moment of silence for everything I have to do but am not doing.

Someone from 🇸🇾 has shared:

I asked myself if I was toxic and we said no.

Someone from 🇳🇱 has shared:

Girls who leave clothing reviews with their height, weight, and size ordered are going to heaven.

Someone from 🇨🇳 has downloaded:

God forbid a girl uses shopping as her coping mechanism.

Someone from 🇱🇦 has downloaded:

Channeling my inner forest ghost: hauntingly fabulous and slightly lost.

Someone from 🇮🇷 has bookmarked:

Befuddlingly, a palm tree won’t fit in your hand.

Someone from 🇱🇧 has copied:

Most puns make me feel numb, but math puns make me feel number.

Someone from 🇦🇸 has shared:

Imagine how bored the person who invented mayonnaise must have been.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

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Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Updated

Feb 3, 2026

Users Online

3,746

Social Media Log 💫

Seen just now on Instagram:

Just drafted the drunk text I’m going to send after one drink this weekend.

Spotted on X:

They should have a section on the wing of the plane where people can go out for a cigarette.

Making waves on Discord:

I appreciate the people that interact with me and I really appreciate the ones that don’t.

Going viral on Telegram:

Your card declining when you know you have money is a very funny experience.

Shared recently on Slack:

Arguing through text will have you standing in one spot for 40 mins.

Seen just now on Messenger:

I poked your tweet with a stick, hoping it would do something.

Freshly posted on Slack:

I can clean the whole house if I want to, but if someone asks me to do it, suddenly I’m lazy.

Just landed via Instagram:

But if I get tinted windows, how will people see me flipping them off?

Seen just now on Reddit:

I don’t have gray hair, I have wisdom highlights.

Spotted on Twitch:

My dogs don’t feel earthquakes because they have constant gas.

Funny glory hole quotes

New funny glory hole quotes 👇

Glory hole but for forehead kisses.

6 days ago

affection, forehead, forehead kiss, glory, glory hole, hole, humor, intimacy, joke, kiss, playful, relationship

All funny glory hole quotes & images can be used for free for non-commercial purposes 👌

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Social Media Stars ⭐

80 shares on Twitch this month:

So many people these days are too judgmental. I can tell just by looking at them.

79 shares on Telegram this month:

Imagine Pinocchio roasting you for 5 mins straight and his nose didn’t move an inch.

86 shares on Facebook this month:

Adulthood is wild. One day I’m transferring money to my savings account, and three days later, I’m transferring it out to save myself.

95 shares on Slack this month:

Dear liars, I hope every pair of pants you own are on fire.

23 shares on Twitch this month:

Somebody somewhere today don’t know it’s their last day with all 10 fingers.

31 shares on Telegram this month:

“I thought it might be nice to go around the room and have everyone introduce themselves, including a fun fact.” You thought wrong.

36 shares on Facebook this month:

I want to live in a world where TV sitcoms have catchy theme songs again.

99 shares on Slack this month:

Went to an antique show and people started bidding on me.

21 shares on X this month:

Study so hard until Dior is like Shein to you.

83 shares on Telegram this month:

Apparently you’re not supposed to announce that there’s been a death in the family every time you kill a houseplant.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇭🇺 has viewed:

One sec, lemme just find the off switch for my brain.

Someone from 🇰🇲 has bookmarked:

McDonald’s will “anything else” you to death. Can you wait a McMinute?

Someone from 🇧🇧 has viewed:

If we’re living in a dystopian nightmare, where the hell is my housekeeping robot?

Someone from 🇹🇳 has bookmarked:

I SAID YES!!!!!! after I asked myself if I wanted a breakfast burrito.

Someone from 🇧🇸 has shared:

Can’t sleep because I keep finding exciting opportunities to get pissed off.

Someone from 🇲🇻 has viewed:

I can’t even think straight knowing a package got delivered while I’m not home.

Someone from 🇬🇶 has copied:

Kissing while both wearing baseball caps is so hard. How do baseball players do it?

Someone from 🇹🇳 has bookmarked:

Public transportation is great, but they should invent a type where it’s only me in the vehicle.

Someone from 🇲🇳 has shared:

Before I had kids I was only vaguely aware that Saturday had a 7am.

Someone from 🇿🇦 has viewed:

Moving is legitimately one of the worst human experiences.

Social Media Log 💫

Going bananas on Slack:

They’re making me do work at work.

Just landed via Reddit:

An escape room, but it’s just your high school reunion.

Going viral on Facebook:

Becoming a DJ, but only because I like to impose my will and preferences upon the masses.

Just shared via Messenger:

I used to be sad about the climate apocalypse, but I went on a few dates and, honestly, I’m ready now.

Live now on Telegram:

You can always tell it’s Monday because nobody’s smiling.

Shared recently on TikTok:

I love being home and doing absolutely nothing and never contributing to society.

Freshly posted on Threads:

Headed to a wedding but my wife said I’m not allowed to refer to the bride as ‘the veiled threat.’

Seen just now on X:

Dear unsuccessful applicant, we ultimately decided to split the role between existing staff without paying any of them extra.

Shared recently on WhatsApp:

Found a picture of me sitting on Santa’s lap. Hard to believe it’s been a whole year.

Shared recently on Discord:

The best part about being single is sleeping around. You can sleep all over that bed of yours – left, right, middle.

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Funny glory hole quotes

New funny glory hole quotes 👇

Glory hole but for forehead kisses.

All funny glory hole quotes & images can be used for free for non-commercial purposes 👌

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨