Wordgag ツ

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇧🇴 has copied:

If I had money, my life would be pretty much the same, but my dogs would destroy much nicer stuff.

Someone from 🇪🇹 has bookmarked:

I don’t want to brag or anything, but I can still fit in the earrings I wore in high school.

Someone from 🇮🇷 has shared:

Facebook is extremely over-engineered for a birthday reminder app.

Someone from 🇸🇹 has viewed:

I hate when flies rub their disgusting little hands together. What could you possibly be plotting? You can’t even get out of the open window.

Someone from 🇬🇲 has downloaded:

Every time I use self-checkout, the person in front of me has never used self-checkout, touchscreens, or money before.

Someone from 🇫🇯 has copied:

Monday again. I just knew this would happen.

Someone from 🇩🇯 has shared:

Ever since I learned the show is called Suits because of lawsuits and not because they wear suits, I have harbored a hot white rage within me beyond anything mankind has ever known.

Someone from 🇺🇸 has copied:

Doing my bit for the evolution of the human race by eating lots of carbs and never exercising. We will adapt!

Someone from 🇻🇪 has downloaded:

After weeks of using an anti aging cream, I can now proudly say: I now have very well-maintained wrinkles.

Someone from 🇮🇹 has bookmarked:

I knew school was a scam when my business teacher didn’t own a business, and my PE teacher was fat.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

55 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,324

Funny Quotes Topics

17,443

Funny Quotes Images

15,324

Jan 2, 2026

3,273

Social Media Log 💫

Breaking via Discord:

Nobody should be blowing up Teslas. If you just wait a bit, they’ll probably do it by themselves.

Trending via Twitch:

One week without chocolate. I can no longer hear anything in my left eye.

Spotted on WhatsApp:

Why can’t people be tested like watermelons? You tap them on the head and find out whether they are normal or bad.

Broadcasted on TikTok:

Wooden pews are designed to maximize the shame of farting in church.

Seen just now on X:

Your nose is in the middle of your face because it is the scenter.

Making waves on YouTube:

Not being filthy rich is continuing to be a huge inconvenience for me.

Freshly posted on Snapchat:

You don’t have to write every day to be a writer! You just have to feel guilty every day that you don’t.

Spotted on WhatsApp:

“I made this with AI.” Yeah, we can tell.

Going viral on X:

Do you also have teenagers whose styling motto is: freeze to death for coolness?

Going viral on Snapchat:

Not gonna lie, I just assume everyone is AI now.

Funny glowing quotes

Funny glowing quotes light up your day with a sparkle of humor and shine 🌟😄! Perfect for brightening moods and adding a witty twist to any conversation, these gems glow brighter than your phone screen at midnight 📱✨. Ready to glow and giggle? Let’s dive into a world where laughter beams as brightly as neon signs! 🎉💡

New funny glowing quotes 👇

You are depressed because your ancestors fought, danced, and ate meals together, and you eat alone in the dark while staring at a glowing rectangle.

0

2 months ago

alone, ancestor, ancestors, dance, dark, darkness, depressed, depression, eat, eating, eating alone, fight, glowing, glowing rectangle, loneliness, meal, meals, rectangle, staring, technology, together, while
People don’t have demonically glowing red eyes in photographs like they used to.

0

2 months ago

change, demon, eyes, glowing, humor, nostalgia, people, photograph, red, used
Bag of flesh that acts weird when another bag of flesh doesn’t send symbols on glowing screen.

0

2 months ago

another, bag, communication, flesh, glowing, glowing screen, humor, interaction, relationships, screen, send, social, social interaction, symbols, weird

All funny glowing quotes & images can be used for free for non-commercial purposes 👌

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Social Media Stars ⭐

19 shares on Threads this month:

The true horror genre: my old Facebook statuses.

41 shares on Telegram this month:

Anyone know which wine pairs well with societal collapse?

59 shares on Slack this month:

Working on my harmonica skills so those around me can both hear and feel my depression.

29 shares on Snapchat this month:

4 sneezes in a row is clout chasing. Wrap it up!

27 shares on TikTok this month:

I drive like I’m immortal.

23 shares on TikTok this month:

Just because I loved you at one point doesn’t mean I will always love you. I’m not Whitney Houston.

95 shares on Discord this month:

My résumé is really just a list of things I hope I never have to do again.

15 shares on Reddit this month:

Does anyone know the password to my work computer? Or how to do my job?

46 shares on Pinterest this month:

I set up a Nativity scene, but since baby Jesus hasn’t arrived yet, all the Wise Men are just looking down at their phones.

85 shares on WeChat this month:

November moving quicker than two lesbians who met three days ago.

Trending Topics 📁

Hot Jokes 💥

19 folks are currently checking 👀

I think during winter we should also get to work less hours in a day, just like the sun.

19 folks are currently checking 👀

Tai Chi is so crazy because it’s like throwing a slow motion tantrum.

23 folks are currently checking 👀

You know it’s been a successful Thanksgiving when your clothes no longer fit.

15 folks are currently checking 👀

He who laughs last didn’t get it.

15 folks are currently checking 👀

We went on a family vacation and it was a terrible experience. It was all whining, complaining, and tantrums. And don’t get me started on what my kids did.

23 folks are currently checking 👀

If I have to look at any more spreadsheets today, you’re gonna have to spread my ashes.

8 folks are currently checking 👀

When I look at the world, I realize why Noah only took animals with him.

16 folks are currently checking 👀

Behind every robot that turns evil is an engineer who specifically installed red LEDs into the eyes just for this scenario.

17 folks are currently checking 👀

I would like to thank my middle finger for always sticking up for me when I needed it.

9 folks are currently checking 👀

People on diet aren’t mad at you. They’re mad at their lunch.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

55 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,324

Funny Quotes Topics

17,443

Funny Quotes Images

15,324

Updated

Jan 2, 2026

Users Online

3,519

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇫🇮 has viewed:

Being sexy is just the cherry on top. I’m actually a genius and the sweetest girl ever.

Someone from 🇧🇳 has viewed:

This post is highly top-secret. You need to forget that you’ve seen it immediately.

Someone from 🇷🇴 has copied:

I’m multitasking: I can listen, ignore and forget at the same time.

Someone from 🇧🇼 has viewed:

“Ooh, you’ve caught the sun.” Translation: You look like you’ve been swimming in a volcano.

Someone from 🇻🇺 has copied:

This bouncer’s lucky I’m with my lady and physically frightened of him or he’d be in a world of pain.

Someone from 🇺🇦 has copied:

I’m always a little mean to men because, if you treat them like humans, they think you wanna sleep with them.

Someone from 🇧🇷 has shared:

I don’t know why we traded horses for cars. Your car won’t stop in front of a river and be like, “no way dumbass, we aren’t going to make that.”

Someone from 🇧🇫 has downloaded:

Asked a German girl for her number, and I’m still waiting for the rest of the digits. So far, all I have is “nine.”

Someone from 🇸🇬 has copied:

I don’t know who needs to hear this, but throw away your disgusting dish sponge.

Someone from 🇧🇴 has bookmarked:

I think some outfits just aren’t meant to be worn unless you’re getting straight into a car.

Social Media Log 💫

Spotted on Messenger:

My most boomer complaint is that nobody knows how to bring an item out of courtesy to parties anymore.

Just landed via Reddit:

You should be able to call in sad to work.

Breaking via Threads:

Maybe if we all sit extremely still, Monday won’t be able to see us.

Freshly posted on TikTok:

“Bluetooth or Insane?” is a fun game we all play when we see a lone person speaking out loud in public.

Breaking via Twitch:

Technology has really helped me waste my time efficiently.

Broadcasted on Instagram:

You can’t spell crypto without “cry”.

Shared recently on Discord:

How dare you? I’m literally the sweetest most rage filled person on earth.

Just shared via Slack:

DMs full of guys who wouldn’t know what to do with me.

Shared recently on Pinterest:

I lied, there is no sex. You’re helping me repot plants.

Just shared via Discord:

I’m an expert at having a really funny story to tell and then wording it so badly that it’s not even funny anymore.

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