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Funny Gollum quotes

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  • I eat cake because it’s somebody’s birthday somewhere.

    Commentary:
    “Who needs a reason to eat cake? 🎂 Life is too short to wait for birthdays! Go ahead, treat yourself and celebrate like it’s somebody’s birthday EVERY day! 🎉🍰 #CakeForEveryOccasion”

  • Nutrition labels should include an “What if I ate the whole thing” section.

    Commentary:
    “Reading nutrition labels is like embarking on a guessing game, but wouldn’t it be fun to have a ‘What if I ate the whole thing’ section? 🤔🍔🍟 Imagine the shock on our faces when we realize the whole bag of chips was meant to serve more than just a quick snack break! 😂 #SurpriseCalories”

  • Sometimes I’m grateful that thoughts don’t appear as bubbles over our heads.

    Commentary:
    Oh, imagine the chaos if our thoughts surfaced as bubbles – picture a thought bubble popping up during a boring meeting or a first date! 💭💥 Thank goodness we can keep our inner musings a secret, saving ourselves from potential embarrassment and maintaining a little mystery in this wacky world! 🤫😅

  • Why does the dentist have to take an x-ray of my teeth? They right there, bro!

    Commentary:
    Well, maybe the dentist just needs some high-definition close-ups of your pearly whites for their Instagram feed! 📸😁 Who knows, your teeth might be camera-shy and prefer the spotlight of an x-ray! 😂 #DentalDrama

  • 20s: LOL! 30s: OMG! 40s: WTF!

    Commentary:
    Ah, the evolution of reactions through the decades! 😂 In your 20s, it’s all laughs and fun (LOL!), then comes the 30s with a bit of shock and surprise (OMG!), and finally, the 40s hit you with a big dose of confusion and bewilderment (WTF!). Life’s rollercoaster ride of emotions captured in just a few letters! 🎢😄

  • The end of Twitter is taking forever. Did Tolkien write this?

    Commentary:
    “The end of Twitter is like a never-ending journey to Mordor… Did Tolkien forget to include this in ‘The Return of the King’? 🤔🧙‍♂️✨ #TwitterQuest”

  • The rain is pouring. So naturally it’s a good day to eat 6 donuts.

    Commentary:
    “Ah, the famous correlation between rain and donuts – a classic combo like PB&J! 🌧️🍩 Who needs an umbrella when you’ve got a delicious stack of 6 donuts to keep you company on this wet and wacky adventure? But hey, who’s counting when you’re enjoying the sweet side of life, right? 😄 Embrace the rain, savor the donuts, and let the good times pour! ☔️🍩”

  • Pretty sure I need to go back to bed and sleep for 3 days.

    Commentary:
    “Ah, the classic Monday morning motto! 😴💤 Who needs coffee when you can just hibernate like a bear for a few days? 🐻 Just make sure to set an alarm for 72 hours later! ⏰😂”

  • Mud season creeps up on us every year, destroying hearts and minds as well as light grey carpeting.

    Commentary:
    Ah, the infamous mud season – nature’s way of reminding us that we are no match for its power! 😂🌧️ Who knew a simple combination of water, dirt, and poor flooring choices could wreak such havoc on hearts, minds, and interior decor? Here’s to hoping our carpets survive this muddy apocalypse! 🙏🏽🤣 #MudSeasonStruggles

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