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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇸🇨 has bookmarked:

Don’t rush into a relationship. Be friends first. Maybe they have hotter friends. Thank me later.

Someone from 🇧🇷 has bookmarked:

Why does tiredness on the couch not follow me to the bed?

Someone from 🇹🇿 has viewed:

I always carry a knife with me in case I run into someone with 10,000 spoons.

Someone from 🇲🇽 has viewed:

If you think my posts are horrid, wait until you see the live stream of my colonoscopy.

Someone from 🇲🇱 has shared:

It’s a shame that the know-it-alls know everything better but don’t do anything better.

Someone from 🇻🇺 has viewed:

My husband asked me if he had any annoying habits then got offended during the PowerPoint presentation.

Someone from 🇨🇱 has copied:

If I could have immunity to anything I would pick calories.

Someone from 🇹🇲 has bookmarked:

But if i put my laundry away, the laundry chair will be out of a job.

Someone from 🇪🇹 has shared:

I don’t even know what the Transformers are fighting about, to be honest.

Someone from 🇭🇹 has shared:

Welcome to your parents’ house, where the wifi password is fEtbqP2LVp3U6Hkh

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

768 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

10,930

Funny Quotes Topics

13,902

Funny Quotes Images

10,930

Updated

8 minutes ago

Users Online

3,427

Social Media Log 💫

Going viral on Threads:

Me attempting to flirt: So do you like doing things?

Spotted on Messenger:

Look, babe, I’m sorry. If your fake British accent keeps being this geographically inconsistent, I’m going to have to cancel the medieval roleplay sex.

Broadcasted on TikTok:

I’m 6 donuts away from being the elephant in the room.

Making waves on Instagram:

A massage is not enough, I need to be rolled through a pasta machine.

Just shared via Snapchat:

Foolproof? Yeah, well we’ll see about that.

Reported on Messenger:

Irregardless, for all intensive purposes, I could care less.

Shared recently on Messenger:

Yesterday, I went to the grocery store, and I managed to come home without any junk food. Now, I’m mad that we don’t have any junk food.

Shared recently on Instagram:

My favorite 90s skill: Uninstalling my car stereo and hiding it in my glove box in under 15 seconds.

Trending via LinkedIn:

I’m not fat. I just eat in advance.

Trending via Instagram:

Technically, all the money I have ever spent on food has been flushed down the toilet.

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Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

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Trending Topics 📁

activity communication day food frustration fun humor i irony joke just know life love me media need people procrastination relationship sarcasm social someone technology time want work

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

768 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

10,930

Funny Quotes Topics

13,902

Funny Quotes Images

10,930

Updated

8 minutes ago

Users Online

3,439

Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇸🇱 has bookmarked:

The masculine urge to make a woman sit through a YouTube video that she will not find funny or entertaining.

Someone from 🇳🇷 has bookmarked:

Stop blaming everyone for your problems. Pick one person you really hate and blame them for everything.

Someone from 🇱🇸 has downloaded:

Police cars should play ice cream truck music when they’re pulling you over for something minor.

Someone from 🇬🇳 has viewed:

Unfollowers, take me with you!

Someone from 🇦🇿 has viewed:

Peter Parker having to juggle a day job with being a superhero feels kinda stupid nowadays. Just launch a Patreon, my man. Throw a PayPal link in that Spider-bio.

Someone from 🇷🇼 has copied:

Sorry I was late, I was waiting for my CVS receipt to finish printing.

Someone from 🇱🇾 has downloaded:

Nobody flirts better than a girl with zero interest.

Someone from 🇪🇨 has viewed:

I can’t watch Sex and the City anymore, because I get really upset at how much money these ladies have.

Someone from 🇻🇪 has viewed:

There’s something so romantic about getting McDonald’s with a lover. Intimate perhaps.

Someone from 🇰🇷 has downloaded:

Parents be like “why aren’t you eating, don’t you like my food?” and after you eat a ton, they’ll say “you look a little chubby, maybe you should eat less.”

Social Media Log 💫

Just shared via Discord:

Doctor advised me to stop drinking. This is going to be a big change for me. I was with that doctor for decades.

Freshly posted on Facebook:

Desperately searching the dating app settings for an option to turn down the difficulty level.

Seen just now on Facebook:

At my age, I’m worried about tripping and falling, so I wear a helmet. I’m also worried about looking ridiculous, so I carry a skateboard.

Freshly posted on X:

Your nose is in the middle of your face because it is the scenter.

Making waves on WeChat:

My robot vacuum and I are cut from the same cloth. When we see a line of dirt on the kitchen floor, we just spin around and go the other way.

Going viral on Twitch:

No more relationships for me; the last one was an embarrassment to my gangsta.

Spotted on Pinterest:

Not having a crush is dangerous. What am I supposed to think about? What if I invent something?

Going viral on Instagram:

If you wanna make someone cry, just show them the earliest year they can retire.

Live now on WeChat:

Nothing messes up your Friday like realizing it’s only Thursday.

Shared recently on X:

Being annoying is the most beautiful thing a woman could be.

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