Wordgag ツ

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇩🇯 has copied:

When you realize a 9 to 5 is actually an 8 to 7, since you cannot teleport to work.

Someone from 🇦🇪 has copied:

“Stop bouncing your leg!” It’s either this or I start screaming.

Someone from 🇹🇩 has downloaded:

Not wearing glasses anymore, I’ve seen enough.

Someone from 🇱🇰 has bookmarked:

I was waiting on the universe but the universe was actually waiting on me.

Someone from 🇮🇷 has bookmarked:

Sometimes I wish I had a speed bump between my brain and my mouth.

Someone from 🇸🇱 has downloaded:

Maybe the grass is greener over there because you’re not over there messing it up.

Someone from 🇧🇸 has shared:

Cocktails can be tricky, because they taste like juice, but then the next thing you know… you can’t walk.

Someone from 🇸🇨 has downloaded:

In my defense, I was left alone unsupervised.

Someone from 🇮🇳 has downloaded:

I’m not superstitious because it brings bad luck.

Someone from 🇬🇼 has bookmarked:

I have found that there is usually a lot of day left at the end of my patience.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

55 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,324

Funny Quotes Topics

17,443

Funny Quotes Images

15,324

Updated

Jan 2, 2026

Users Online

3,633

Social Media Log 💫

Broadcasted on Snapchat:

Any cults got something wild planned anytime soon? I’m trying to find the good estate sales.

Going viral on WhatsApp:

The house from Hansel and Gretel but made out of tacos.

Live now on Pinterest:

Today, I started a 28-day no-swearing challenge, which I will restart tomorrow.

Making waves on Telegram:

I usually decompose after work rather than decompress.

Just landed via Twitch:

My sleeping cycle is completely backwards. In the morning I feel sleepy and at night I can’t fall asleep.

Going viral on Telegram:

True luxury is sleeping until you wake up by yourself.

Freshly posted on Messenger:

Are you my appendix? Cause you seem kind of useless to me.

Spotted on TikTok:

A selfie only a mother could like.

Breaking via LinkedIn:

The first time you forgive out of love. The second time out of hope and the third time out of stupidity.

Spreading quickly via LinkedIn:

Of all the things to lose why couldn’t it have been my appetite and not my mind.

Funny horoscope quotes

Funny horoscope quotes add a playful spin to the predictions and personality traits associated with the stars. ✨😄 From witty takes on astrological advice to humorous observations about zodiac signs, these quotes bring a chuckle to your daily dose of celestial guidance. Enjoy the fun side of horoscopes and see what laughter your sign has in store! ✨😄

New funny horoscope quotes 👇

All funny horoscope quotes & images can be used for free for non-commercial purposes 👌

New Funny Quotes
🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Social Media Stars ⭐

70 shares on LinkedIn this month:

I’m getting to the age where it’s rude to pull out a bottle of ibuprofen if I don’t have enough for everyone.

95 shares on Facebook this month:

I feel a deep connection to librarians because I also love telling people to shut up.

67 shares on YouTube this month:

It’s not fair when attractive people are also good at things.

19 shares on YouTube this month:

Having a crush on someone is just having a lack of information on someone.

70 shares on Pinterest this month:

What can I buy my wife for Valentine’s Day that finally proves to her once and for all that I have absolutely no idea what she likes or who she is?

68 shares on Reddit this month:

The real flex is how many wounds you can turn into wisdom.

73 shares on X this month:

My life is a constant cycle of waiting for the weekend.

81 shares on WhatsApp this month:

Sometimes you show up to work, and they just torture you for hours.

66 shares on Snapchat this month:

The word “ugly” cannot be used on women, I’m sorry. Women just can’t be ugly, that’s a boy thing.

100 shares on Reddit this month:

Sometimes I feel useless, but then I remember I breathe out carbon dioxide for plants.

Trending Topics 📁

activity communication day food frustration fun humor i irony joke just know life love me media people procrastination relationship sarcasm social social media someone technology time want work

Hot Jokes 💥

5 folks are currently checking 👀

Ozzy Osbourne has mumbled through entire sentences, and I still understood him better than most of my exes.

12 folks are currently checking 👀

Was complaining to my mom about my daughter’s attitude and she told me I should’ve named her payback.

13 folks are currently checking 👀

I enjoy a glass of wine each night for its health benefits. The other glasses are for my witty comebacks and flawless dance moves.

14 folks are currently checking 👀

Me, gently telling my kids that I ate the rest of the ice cream: Your dad ate the rest of the ice cream.

25 folks are currently checking 👀

HR: “Please complete our anonymous survey.” My boss then later: “Don’t forget the survey, HR said you are the last one from our team.”

10 folks are currently checking 👀

I’m at the age where I see a huge, beautiful mansion in a movie and think, “How much does it cost to heat that house in the winter?”

25 folks are currently checking 👀

It’s so beautiful to see people just give up at work this time of year. I’m getting emails that do not include any complete sentences.

5 folks are currently checking 👀

Just know that somebody out there is thinking of you, and you should really lock your doors.

14 folks are currently checking 👀

Either the tables are going to turn, or I’m going to flip them.

8 folks are currently checking 👀

I could be a morning person, if morning was sometime around noon.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

55 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,324

Funny Quotes Topics

17,443

Funny Quotes Images

15,324

Updated

Jan 2, 2026

Users Online

3,522

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇪🇨 has shared:

I may be a beginner at some things, but I have a black belt in shopping.

Someone from 🇰🇲 has viewed:

Nearly choked on a carrot. A donut would never do that to me.

Someone from 🇸🇪 has copied:

In case of a disaster, women and children are being evacuated first so men can think about a solution in peace.

Someone from 🇸🇿 has downloaded:

I don’t know the difference between “gray” & “grey” and I’m too scared to even ask.

Someone from 🇵🇰 has copied:

Someone has left me a voicemail. I don’t know what to do. Open the phone app? The contacts? Do I turn on the TV?

Someone from 🇫🇷 has shared:

Maybe dogs are smarter than us because they found a way to get fed and housed without having to go to college and get a job.

Someone from 🇨🇳 has downloaded:

Zoom is really only for one thing: realizing our dream of staring at ourselves while talking to other people.

Someone from 🇱🇦 has downloaded:

Sorry, can’t. I took my bra off and threw it across the room an hour ago. There’s no coming back from that.

Someone from 🇩🇰 has bookmarked:

I love ketchup from my head to-ma-toes.

Someone from 🇰🇳 has viewed:

The Angry Birds assaulted me and made me rip their disgusting bong.

Social Media Log 💫

Freshly posted on Telegram:

I put the “sexy” in “dyslexic.”

Shared recently on TikTok:

It seems a little unfair that the people who want to go to bed have to put the people to bed who don’t want to go to bed.

Freshly posted on YouTube:

My tween would like you to know I ruined his life when I told him to stop being super sus and cringe and be more lit yo.

Seen just now on Threads:

“You look tired.” Yes, bro, I stayed up all night obsessing over things I have no control over.

Just landed via Instagram:

My idea of fun is watching something on the TV while I look at relevant Wikipedia articles on my phone.

Just shared via Threads:

Imagine hating on me and I’m just sitting there in the corner, in the spotlight, losing my religion.

Live now on Discord:

Twitter is a prime example why most of us shouldn’t be left unsupervised.

Trending via Snapchat:

Twitter is like group therapy but everyone’s yelling and no one’s licensed.

Going viral on TikTok:

Stupidity begins where irony is no longer understood.

Just landed via LinkedIn:

Packed all my meds into one bottle for a trip and accidentally invented the best trail mix.

© 2025. All rights reserved.

Made with ❤️ in Sydney ☀️🌴