I’ve reached that age where I don’t have to drink to forget because it just happens naturally now.

I’ve reached that age where I don’t have to drink to forget because it just happens naturally now.

Commentary:
Ah, the beauty of aging gracefully – or perhaps not so gracefully in this case! Who needs alcohol-induced amnesia when you have the forgetfulness that comes with experience and wisdom, right? It's like a built-in forgetfulness feature that activates on its own. Embrace it, cherish it, and just remember to laugh about it when you do eventually remember!

I grew up with six brothers. That's how I learned to dance: waiting for the bathroom.

I grew up with six brothers. That’s how I learned to dance: waiting for the bathroom.

Commentary:
"Growing up with six brothers must have been a real balancing act – both on the dance floor and in the bathroom queue! Talk about sibling rivalry turning into a fancy footwork competition."

If your wife uses “I” it means she will be doing something. “We” means you will be.

If your wife uses “I” it means she will be doing something. “We” means you will be.

Commentary:
"If your wife uses 'I,' she's preparing for action – perhaps remodeling the living room or organizing the pantry. But if she sweetly utters 'we,' it's time to lace up those work boots, my friend, because that to-do list just got a whole lot longer!"

Not to brag but I am evidence of things unseen.

Not to brag but I am evidence of things unseen.

Commentary:
"Who needs proof when I am living proof! 👀✨ Don't worry, I won't hold it against you for not being as invisible as me!"

Not to brag, but I skipped my mid-life crisis and went straight to cranky old man.

Not to brag, but I skipped my mid-life crisis and went straight to cranky old man.

Commentary:
"Oh, to bypass the mid-life crisis and dive right into perfecting the art of crankiness! 🙄👴 No time for flashy sports cars or questionable fashion choices, just pure unadulterated curmudgeonliness ahead! 😂 #AgeBeforeCrankiness"