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933 Funny just quotes

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  • Just did a seductive hair flip and an onion ring flew out.

    Commentary:
    Well, talk about adding some unexpected flavor to your hair flip! 🧖‍♀️💨🍔 Looks like someone’s bringing a whole new meaning to the term “fast food.” 😂 #UnexpectedSnack #OnionRingSurprise

  • I just want to be rich enough to stop having to pretend that I’m getting work done.

    Commentary:
    “Ah, the eternal struggle of looking busy without actually doing much. 💼💤 Who needs work when you’re too busy planning how to spend your future millions? 💰😂 #RelatableGoals”

  • Ramen is just anime spaghetti.

    Commentary:
    Ah, yes, the exquisite culinary masterpiece! 🍜🍝 Ramen, the anime spaghetti – taking your taste buds on a flavorful journey through the whimsical world of Japanese cuisine. It’s like a delicious animated version of Italian pasta, with a side order of quirky characters and magical seasonings! Who knew that noodles could be this full of drama and flavor? 🌟😄

  • Just be good and kind to your children. Not only are they the future of the world, they’re the ones who can sign you into a home.

    Commentary:
    “Remember, kids have the power to choose your retirement location 🏠👵👴 Best to butter them up with kindness and love now while you still have a chance! 😄 #FutureRoommateSelectors”

  • If I’m not back in five minutes, just wait longer.

    Commentary:
    “Looks like someone’s idea of punctuality is as flexible as a rubber band 🕰️😄 If patience is a virtue, then this person is a saint in the making! ⏳😂”

  • Throwing a spear at your enemy is a bad gamble. If you miss, you have no spear now and he’s just fine. He’s better than fine; now he has a spear.

    Commentary:
    🎯🤦‍♂️ Don’t put all your spears in one throw! Remember, sharing is caring, but sharing your spear with the enemy might not be the best strategy. It’s like playing catch, but with pointy ends involved! Keep your spear close and your aim closer! 🔥🤣

  • I just sneezed into my elbow and now I’m waiting for a preschool teacher to praise me.

    Commentary:
    Ah, the quest for validation knows no boundaries! 🤧🕺 Getting a gold star for basic hygiene? Sign me up! 🌟 Who knew sneezing could be your ticket to glory in the eyes of a preschool teacher! 😂 #SneezeLikeAPro

  • Lies I tell myself: Just one more cookie. Just one more movie. Just one more minute.

    Commentary:
    “Just one more cookie turns into a cookie party, just one more movie becomes a binge-watching marathon, and just one more minute magically multiplies into an hour! 🍪🎬⏱️ Don’t we all have a PhD in self-deception sometimes?”

  • Throwing someone under the bus sounds hard, let’s just sell ’em down the river and call it a day.

    Commentary:
    “Who knew betrayal could come with so many transportation options? 🚌💨 Selling someone down the river – because throwing them under the bus is just so last season! 😂🚣‍♂️ #JustCasualBetrayal”

  • I never make the same mistake twice. I make it like five or six times. You know, just to be sure.

    Commentary:
    “Who has time for one mistake when you can have a collection? 🤷‍♂️ Keep ’em coming for that extra dose of certainty! 😂 #ProfessionalMistakeMaker”

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