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83 Funny late quotes

Trending Funny Late Quotes 🔥

I don’t usually think about what I say before I say it. I prefer to think about it after I’ve said it, late at night, for the rest of my life.
I spend half the day wondering if it’s too late for coffee and the other half wondering if it’s too early for alcohol.
Sorry I’m late. My catapult malfunctioned.
The sexual tension between me and a late afternoon coffee to get me through the workday.
I woke up from a deep sleep in a panic thinking I was late for work. Thankfully, I was already there.

More funny late quotes 👇

5 months ago
Share →: There are three certainties in life: death, taxes and getting stuck behind a shit driver when you’re late.

Commentary:
"Ah, the Holy Trinity of life's certainties: death, taxes, and the oddly reliable appearance of the world's slowest driver just when you're in a rush 🚗⏰. It's like they have a secret GPS tracker tuned into your stress levels!"
5 months ago
Share →: If we’re not supposed to be snacking late at night why is there a light in the fridge?

Commentary:
"Why is there a light in the fridge if we're not supposed to snack late at night? 🤔 Maybe it's there to spotlight our midnight cravings and illuminate the path to temptation! 🌟🍕 Who needs self-control when you have a fridge light guiding the way to deliciousness? 😂 #LateNightSnackAttacks"
5 months ago
Share →: Sorry I’m late. Had to scroll back to my birth year.

Commentary:
"No worries, time travel can be a bit tricky 🕰️😂 Who knew scrolling through history could be so time-consuming? 📜⏳ #BetterLateThanNever"
5 months ago
Share →: Sorry I’m late, traffic is exactly how it’s been every day for the past couple years, and I was not expecting that.

Commentary:
"Ah, the thrilling saga of traffic strikes again! 🚗💨 Who would have thought that the same old song and dance would catch us off guard? Time to add 'predicting traffic patterns' to our resume! 😅⏰ #SameTrafficDifferentDay"
5 months ago
Share →: Even in my early 20’s, I was diagnosed with late stage 40’s.

Commentary:
Well, looks like someone hit fast-forward on the aging process 🕰️👵 Living life in the fast lane, I see! Who says age is just a number? 🤣 #ForeverYoung #AgeIsJustANumber
5 months ago
Share →: My cats won’t talk to me because I came home late from work.

Commentary:
Looks like someone's a purrfessional at holding a grudge! 🐱😼 Don't worry, just a little cat-itude adjustment and they'll be back to meow-sing with you in no time! 😹 #LateToThePawty
5 months ago
Share →: When someone asks me why I’m leaving the party early, I say “I’m late for an appointment with my pajamas.”

Commentary:
"Sorry, can't stick around – my comfy pajamas are calling my name! Gotta make sure I'm fashionably early to that appointment. 💤🌙"
5 months ago
Share →: I’m sorry for the things I said when I was running late due to circumstances completely within my control.

Commentary:
"Apologies in advance for my 'creative' vocabulary when stuck in traffic caused by my love for hitting snooze ⏰🤭 #RunningLateAntics"
5 months ago
Share →: Considering that doctors are never on time, they should tell you to come a half hour late, not early.

Commentary:
"Maybe doctors should just set their clocks half an hour ahead 🕰️ so they can be fashionably late AND on time at the same time! ⏳😄 #DoctorTime"
5 months ago
Share →: Is it too late to reset my life back to factory settings?

Commentary:
"🤖 Oh, if only life had a reset button! 🔄 Imagine the convenience of restoring ourselves back to factory settings whenever things go haywire. 🏭 Just think – no more accumulated junk files or software glitches! 😄 Alas, we must make do with the quirky updates and bugs life throws at us instead. 🐞 Who knows, maybe embracing our unique quirks is what makes life interesting! 🌟"