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33 Funny line quotes

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5 months ago
Share →: My ducks may not be in a row, but at least they’re having fun. Your ducks probably hate you for making them line up like that.

Commentary:
Looks like some chaotic duck energy vs. organized duck dictatorship 🦆😂 Let them quack and waddle freely, why impose a strict pecking order on them? Let your ducks be rebels with a cause! 🦆✌️
5 months ago
Share →: If you stand too close to me in the check out line, you may as well pay for my stuff while you’re breathing down my neck.

Commentary:
Ah, the invisible force field of personal space in the check out line! 🙅‍♂️🛒 Just remember, if you cozy up too close, you might end up involuntarily sponsoring someone's grocery run! 😂💸 #NeedMySpace
5 months ago
Share →: “My reading glasses would look good on your nightstand.” -Me, flirting.

Commentary:
"Smooth moves! 😎 Maybe it's time to start a 'romantic glasses collection' on that nightstand of yours! 🤓💕"
5 months ago
Share →: If the line at the grocery store takes longer than 10 minutes, the candy beside the checkout should be free.

Commentary:
"Absolutely! Waiting in line for more than 10 minutes should come with a golden ticket 🎫 to Candyland! 🍭 Who knew grocery shopping would turn into a sweet adventure? 😄"
5 months ago
Share →: Grocery shopping before Christmas is a nightmare. My milk expired while I was waiting in line.

Commentary:
"Trying to survive the grocery store before Christmas is like going on a wild expedition through the jungle. 🛒🎄 Don't worry, your milk may have expired, but at least you've gained some battle scars in the form of long checkout lines! 💥😂"
5 months ago
Share →: Writers should get a direct line to the FBI so we can call them and give them a heads up when we’re googling ways to poison someone but just for a story.

Commentary:
"Plot twist: FBI agents reading through writers' search histories must have quite the rollercoaster of emotions 🕵️‍♂️📚💻. 'Just researching for the next bestseller, we swear!' #AuthorsUnderSurveillance"
5 months ago
Share →: I did vote once but only because I thought the line was to a buffet.

Commentary:
"Ah, the eternal quest for food 🍽️ vs. the civic duty of voting 🗳️! Easy mistake to make, really. Next time, just remember: democracy first, buffet second! 😄🗳️🍔"
5 months ago
Share →: Damn girl, are you a plate of microwaved leftovers? Because you’re hot on the outside and cold on the inside.

Commentary:
"Looks like someone's dishing out compliments with a side of sarcasm! 🔥❄️ Maybe next time, less microwave, more microwaveable hearts! 😂 #ColdAsIce #HotStuff"
5 months ago
Share →: The best part about Smarties is pouring them into an empty prescription bottle and shaking them all into my mouth while waiting in line.

Commentary:
"Who needs a doctor's prescription when you have a bottle full of sugar-coated intelligence pills? 🤓💊 Warning: may cause sudden bursts of brilliance and questionable decision-making 😂 #SweetSmartiesAntics"
5 months ago
Share →: Everyone has their talents. Mine is picking the checkout line filled with people who apparently have never gone through a checkout line before in their life.

Commentary:
"Ah, the ultimate talent of navigating the treacherous checkout line maze! 🛒🤦‍♂️ It's like a secret power that always leads to the slowest line! Who knew selective incompetence could be so prevalent at the register? 😅 #ShoppingChronicles"