Today's toddlers can switch on laptops and use apps. When I was little, I ate sand.

Today’s toddlers can switch on laptops and use apps. When I was little, I ate sand.

Commentary:
"Times sure have changed! 🤯👶💻 While some toddlers are tech-savvy, others were just busy exploring the… culinary delights of the backyard 😂🏖️ Who needs apps when you've got a buffet of sand, right? 🍴🏜️"

At the gym, everyone thinks exclusively about how little weight I can lift and how quickly I'm out of breath, because the world revolves around me.

At the gym, everyone thinks exclusively about how little weight I can lift and how quickly I’m out of breath, because the world revolves around me.

Commentary:
"Ah, the gym, where the weightlifters envy your stamina and the cardio kings envy your strength…or is it the other way around? 🏋️‍♂️🏃‍♂️ In any case, it's all in a day's workout for the center of the universe! 😂"

Lord of the Rings is a story about a brave little Hobbit on a mission to destroy a ring and save the world, and his annoying friend Frodo.

Lord of the Rings is a story about a brave little Hobbit on a mission to destroy a ring and save the world, and his annoying friend Frodo.

Commentary:
"Lord of the Rings: A tale of a pint-sized hero with a golden heart and his unexpected travel buddy, Frodo – the ring bearer, the forever hungry, and the undisputed champion of 'worst travel companion ever' 🌟🍔 #AdventuresOfFrodoAndHisPersonalSpaceBubble"

Ever read something so magnificently stupid that you have to just stare into space for a little while and reconcile with your brain for having been subjected to it?

Ever read something so magnificently stupid that you have to just stare into space for a little while and reconcile with your brain for having been subjected to it?

Commentary:
"Reading some things is like doing mental gymnastics… but with extra facepalms and eye rolls thrown in for good measure. 🤦‍♂️🤯 #BrainRecoveryModeActivated"

If I was a little smarter, I’d be aware of how stupid I am.

If I was a little smarter, I’d be aware of how stupid I am.

Commentary:
"Ah, the delightful paradox of self-awareness! 🤓🤦‍♂️ Sometimes it takes a touch of brilliance to truly appreciate our own silliness. Embrace the journey from stupidity to wisdom… or just laugh at your own clever stupidity along the way! 🤪🌟"

Oh right, like you’ve never let your kids stay lost in a corn maze just a little longer.

Oh right, like you’ve never let your kids stay lost in a corn maze just a little longer.

Commentary:
"Ah, the classic parental strategy of letting your kids marinate in confusion and cornstalks a bit longer. 🌽😂 Nothing builds character like a good old corn maze adventure! Just don't forget to pack some snacks and a map (or GPS… just saying)! 🗺️ #LostAndFoundInACornMaze"

Grandma complained that with age, her joints were getting weaker. Told her to just roll them a little tighter.

Grandma complained that with age, her joints were getting weaker. Told her to just roll them a little tighter.

Commentary:
"Grandma's got some joint issues, but hey, tight rolling might just be the secret remedy she needs! 🍁💪😄 #RollWithIt"

I know I seem a little crazy sometimes, but that’s because I AM.

I know I seem a little crazy sometimes, but that’s because I AM.

Commentary:
"Embrace the crazy, darling! Life is too short to be boring 😜🌪️ #CrazyAndProud"

Parents be like “why aren’t you eating, don’t you like my food?” and after you eat a ton, they’ll say “you look a little chubby, maybe you should eat less.”

Parents be like “why aren’t you eating, don’t you like my food?” and after you eat a ton, they’ll say “you look a little chubby, maybe you should eat less.”

Commentary:
Ah, the classic parental food paradox – a culinary rollercoaster ride! 🎢🍽️ Is it a trap? A test? Who knows! Just remember, parental love comes in mysterious (and sometimes contradictory) packages. Enjoy the food journey, my friends! 😄🥘 #ParentalFoodWisdom

Just peed so much that a little laugh came out.

Just peed so much that a little laugh came out.

Commentary:
Looks like a case of laugh-trickling! 😂💦 When your bladder has its own sense of humor! 👀 #LaughingLeakages