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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇨🇳 has copied:

Took control of my life today and canceled my AOL subscription.

Someone from 🇲🇭 has bookmarked:

I love airports because the rules of society don’t apply. Eat a pizza and have a glass of wine at 7 am while in track pants. Nobody cares.

Someone from 🇦🇴 has downloaded:

I get shy when my man stares at me for too long because what if he’s realizing I’m actually a lil ugly.

Someone from 🇦🇫 has downloaded:

I think my boss is delusional; he keeps shaking his head and calls me Jesus Christ.

Someone from 🇺🇦 has downloaded:

I really hope that I look like the mirror version of me, and not the camera version.

Someone from 🇳🇮 has downloaded:

Welcome to adulthood: you’re not hungover, it’s just Tuesday.

Someone from 🇱🇰 has viewed:

I miss when we didn’t know what celebrities thought about anything.

Someone from 🇹🇭 has copied:

My favorite type of gender reveal is the one where they just tell me and I don’t have to go to a party to find out.

Someone from 🇭🇳 has bookmarked:

Ever since I was a little girl, I’ve always known I wanted to be a woman with a lot of money when I grew up.

Someone from 🇸🇧 has shared:

I’d rather be spotted in a strip club than a Subway.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

241 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,510

Funny Quotes Topics

17,577

Funny Quotes Images

15,510

Updated

Jan 7, 2026

Users Online

3,638

Social Media Log 💫

Breaking via Pinterest:

My boss told me to show initiative, so I decided to finish work early.

Just shared via YouTube:

The bad news is there was a lot of turbulence on my flight this morning. The good news is my phone counted it as steps.

Trending via Threads:

If I worked for UPS, there would be a 100% chance I’m falling out that open door when I turn a corner too fast.

Seen just now on Messenger:

Saying “shut up” before skipping the YouTube ad is literally necessary.

Just shared via WeChat:

I don’t care what other people think of me, at least mosquitoes find me attractive.

Freshly posted on Telegram:

If life was a video game, right now would be the time where I randomly press buttons because I don’t know what to do.

Going bananas on YouTube:

I’m “I can’t sit like that for too long” years old.

Seen just now on Discord:

Genuinely, why does the logo of every AI chatbot look like a butthole?

Trending via Instagram:

In a previous life I may have been a carrier pigeon, in that all I ever think about is going home.

Trending via LinkedIn:

When I was a little girl, I always dreamed of growing up to satisfy user needs in a way that meets business goals for transformative outcomes.

Funny massacre quotes

Funny massacre quotes bring a quirky twist to dark humor, mixing shock with chuckles 🤡💥. Perfect for those who love edgy comedy that pushes boundaries without crossing the line 🎭🔥. Whether you’re here for a laugh or just curious, these witty lines will definitely catch you off guard and keep you entertained 😎💀. Get ready to see tragedy turned into twisted fun, one clever joke at a time! 🎉🖤

New funny massacre quotes 👇

All funny massacre quotes & images can be used for free for non-commercial purposes 👌

New Funny Quotes
🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Social Media Stars ⭐

79 shares on WeChat this month:

I don’t know who needs to hear this, but your clothes are still in the washing machine.

13 shares on WeChat this month:

Libraries were a good start, but we need more places where people can’t talk.

39 shares on YouTube this month:

I’ve been doing a lot of thinking recently, and I’ve decided that I really don’t want to do that any more.

59 shares on Snapchat this month:

The day I start waking up early it’s over for you all.

75 shares on Discord this month:

Everyone focused on the lip filler, but it’s really the chin filler that is the real villain.

70 shares on Snapchat this month:

I have absolutely no desire to stay in the loop.

18 shares on Instagram this month:

Actually, no one sees you at your worst like your coworkers do.

23 shares on Snapchat this month:

I had a million opportunities to waste money this year, and I took them all. In fact, even when there wasn’t an opportunity, I created one.

48 shares on TikTok this month:

The way that we’re constantly told not to eat silica gel makes me suspect that it contains all the world’s forbidden knowledge.

76 shares on Telegram this month:

Salt and pepper shakers add an air of mystique to any bathroom.

Trending Topics 📁

activity communication day food frustration fun humor i irony joke just know life love me media people procrastination relationship sarcasm social social media someone technology time want work

Hot Jokes 💥

20 folks are currently checking 👀

My favorite part about having a Peloton is telling people I have a Peloton.

19 folks are currently checking 👀

Imagine hating me, and I’m just over here eating Nutella from the jar with a spoon.

10 folks are currently checking 👀

I hate when a guy asks “can you cook?” Can you build a house?

23 folks are currently checking 👀

If adulting had a return policy, I’d use it immediately.

8 folks are currently checking 👀

Would have started saving money in kindergarten if I knew my life was like this.

18 folks are currently checking 👀

Let’s skip the getting-to-know-you phase. Just block me.

22 folks are currently checking 👀

Maybe the reason Miss Piggy is still single is she has a fear of kermitment.

12 folks are currently checking 👀

Thinking of becoming the “where’s my hug” guy in prison.

15 folks are currently checking 👀

If you don’t have at least one white friend named “Matt”, then you are Matt.

16 folks are currently checking 👀

I just heard someone refer to Texas as “Howdy Arabia” and I still haven’t stopped laughing.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

241 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,510

Funny Quotes Topics

17,577

Funny Quotes Images

15,510

Updated

Jan 7, 2026

Users Online

3,561

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇵🇭 has viewed:

Her idea of a romantic setting is one that has a diamond in it.

Someone from 🇳🇪 has bookmarked:

Petition to make weekends longer. Two days isn’t enough.

Someone from 🇱🇸 has shared:

One thing that sucks about being grown-up is not being able to say, “My mom said no,” when you don’t want someone to come over.

Someone from 🇭🇷 has shared:

My five-year plan is to just see what happens.

Someone from 🇧🇾 has copied:

If you can reach enlightenment, can you also reach endarkenment?

Someone from 🇩🇪 has downloaded:

Girls will be like “I have so much to do” then grab some snacks and start watching a 10 part docuseries on serial killers.

Someone from 🇲🇬 has copied:

I have high standards for dating because I’m a high-quality woman, and you wouldn’t want me any other way.

Someone from 🇦🇫 has copied:

The key to looking amazing is looking like shit most of the time, so it’s more of a surprise.

Someone from 🇰🇪 has viewed:

They should invent a rom-com where no one has to overhear anything that leads to a huge unnecessary misunderstanding.

Someone from 🇵🇹 has copied:

I know I seem a little crazy sometimes, but that’s because I AM.

Social Media Log 💫

Just shared via Snapchat:

I like to stay grounded by keeping the weight of the world on my shoulders.

Broadcasted on Threads:

If we ever make eye contact, just know I imagined way too much already.

Seen just now on Reddit:

Sorry, I didn’t text back. I don’t like talking to people anymore.

Just shared via Discord:

Text her when the moon looks pretty.

Just landed via WhatsApp:

Headed to a wedding but my wife said I’m not allowed to refer to the bride as ‘the veiled threat.’

Just landed via Pinterest:

Fruit and vegetables expire faster when you’re the one paying for them.

Trending via Twitch:

If kids these days had a perfume, it would be called Audacity.

Just shared via Snapchat:

Can I come over and be your midnight snack?

Freshly posted on Telegram:

I’m ugly but I can make u laugh.

Shared recently on WhatsApp:

I’ve had 50 birthdays in a row without being arrested, which I’d say is an impressive streak!

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