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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from πŸ‡«πŸ‡· has shared:

An evil genius rising to a position of power is bad but it makes sense at least. Feels insulting we’re constantly seeing evil idiots doing it instead.

Someone from πŸ‡±πŸ‡Έ has shared:

December, give me a sweet ending for this year please.

Someone from πŸ‡¨πŸ‡· has shared:

Sorry, can’t make it, just remembered I don’t want to.

Someone from πŸ‡ͺπŸ‡ͺ has shared:

Normalize mouthing the lyrics to the song in your headphones in public.

Someone from πŸ‡±πŸ‡· has shared:

If consuming too much caffeine causes short-term memory loss, just imagine what consuming too much caffeine can do.

Someone from πŸ‡²πŸ‡² has copied:

Together, I can beat schizophrenia.

Someone from πŸ‡ΉπŸ‡© has copied:

Those security guards at the Samsung store are Guardians of the Galaxy.

Someone from πŸ‡΅πŸ‡° has downloaded:

I’m at the age where I see a huge, beautiful mansion in a movie and think, “How much does it cost to heat that house in the winter?”

Someone from πŸ‡±πŸ‡Ί has viewed:

I just can’t watch football, there’s too much β€œpenetration in the backfield” for me to not giggle like an immature maniac.

Someone from πŸ‡΅πŸ‡ͺ has viewed:

Girls will be like β€œit’s fine” then start drawing a pentagram in blood on their floorboards.

Funny Quotes Data πŸ€“

New Funny Quotes

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Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Updated

Feb 3, 2026

Users Online

3,631

Social Media Log πŸ’«

Making waves on Telegram:

Always remember, if you ever need me, I’m just several phone calls and unread texts away.

Spotted on Snapchat:

I am the human version of tangled headphones.

Going viral on Slack:

She never lets ideas interrupt the easy flow of her conversation.

Going viral on TikTok:

Most men will receive their first bunch of flowers at their funeral.

Going viral on Threads:

I’d end my life from loneliness before I ever talk to ChatGPT like it’s my friend.

Breaking via Messenger:

A micromanager is someone you pay to watch your top talent walk away.

Just landed via Facebook:

Eating cold ravioli counts as breakfast if you’re still wearing yesterday’s clothes.

Freshly posted on Discord:

Dancing alone in your home is its own kind of therapy.

Spreading quickly via Snapchat:

Everyone’s gangster until they need to pee.

Trending via TikTok:

Anyone else who tells their pets every time they leave the house that they’ll be back soon?

Funny messy house quotes

Funny messy house quotes bring a smile to every cluttered corner 🏠✨ When life gets a little chaotic and the mess takes over, these witty lines remind us to laugh instead of stress πŸ˜‚πŸ§Ή Whether it’s piles of laundry or mysterious crumbs, embracing the chaos with humor makes tidying up a bit more fun! So, get ready to chuckle and celebrate the beautiful mess of everyday life πŸŽ‰πŸ›‹οΈ

New funny messy house quotes πŸ‘‡

All funny messy house quotes & images can be used for free for non-commercial purposes πŸ‘Œ

Funny Quotes Collections
✨ New Funny Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

34 shares on Snapchat this month:

I hate math, but I love counting money.

75 shares on Telegram this month:

My whole life, I never read a warning label telling me not to eat laundry detergent or put glue in my hair, somehow I just knew.

17 shares on Instagram this month:

Nobody supports you like that one internet friend you’ve never met.

34 shares on Telegram this month:

Boss: You’ll never find another job like this. Me: That’d be great.

37 shares on Threads this month:

At the age where a big break could mean either my career or a hip.

50 shares on LinkedIn this month:

I’m just here trying to spread a little joy while the world burns. Is that so wrong?

66 shares on Snapchat this month:

The cynicism of those who urge me not to do what I can to help the Nigerian royal family.

94 shares on TikTok this month:

I’ll never understand people who go through self-checkout line and slowly and carefully scan their items. This line is for stealing.

71 shares on WhatsApp this month:

A drone, but for seeing which fast food drive-thrus have the shortest line.

44 shares on X this month:

β€œI’m gonna decide everyone’s pronouns and sexuality tonight. And, yes, there will be some big surprises.”

Trending Topics πŸ“

activity communication day food frustration fun humor i irony joke just know life love me media people procrastination relationship sarcasm social social media someone technology time want work

Hot Jokes πŸ’₯

25 folks are currently checking πŸ‘€

A drone, but for seeing which fast food drive-thrus have the shortest line.

12 folks are currently checking πŸ‘€

My five-year plan only requires a few acts of God.

23 folks are currently checking πŸ‘€

Missionary, so we can discuss how 15 min can save us 15% or more on car insurance.

22 folks are currently checking πŸ‘€

I was telling my sister that I’ve been going to the gym recently, and my nephew said, “You should go inside when you get there,” and I don’t think I’ll ever recover from that.

6 folks are currently checking πŸ‘€

A new year resolution is something that goes in one year and out the other.

7 folks are currently checking πŸ‘€

God: “I told you to love thy neighbor – not start trade wars with them.”

9 folks are currently checking πŸ‘€

The easiest way to bundle your home and auto insurance is to live in your car.

17 folks are currently checking πŸ‘€

Welcome to adulthood: you’re always sleepy unless you’re trying to get to sleep.

18 folks are currently checking πŸ‘€

Is it a good sign when your therapist keeps saying Ka-Ching?

19 folks are currently checking πŸ‘€

Eating nothing but beer for a month and calling that Oktoberfast.

Funny Quotes Data πŸ€“

New Funny Quotes

calculating…

Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Updated

Feb 3, 2026

Users Online

3,729

Activity Log ✨

Someone from πŸ‡³πŸ‡¦ has shared:

It’s like my therapist always says, that’ll be $175.

Someone from πŸ‡±πŸ‡¨ has viewed:

If pigeons could talk, they would bum a cigarette.

Someone from πŸ‡¨πŸ‡΄ has copied:

Last night the Internet stopped working so I spent a few hours with my family. They seem like good people.

Someone from πŸ‡ͺπŸ‡¬ has copied:

When it gets past my bedtime, I get so scared.

Someone from πŸ‡©πŸ‡― has viewed:

I ghost family members too, so believe me, bro β€” it’s not personal.

Someone from πŸ‡±πŸ‡Ή has copied:

If I ever look at my phone in the middle of a conversation with you, I’m not reading a text; I’m just looking up the definition of a word I just used a bit too confidently.

Someone from πŸ‡¨πŸ‡» has downloaded:

As a kid, I used to watch The Wizard of Oz and wonder how someone could talk if they didn’t have a brain. Then I got social media.

Someone from πŸ‡°πŸ‡­ has viewed:

Born to be a hater, forced to understand your perspective.

Someone from πŸ‡ΊπŸ‡Ύ has shared:

Beer is like weed for people with jobs.

Someone from πŸ‡¦πŸ‡¬ has viewed:

Hey (with the intention of making your fries my fries).

Social Media Log πŸ’«

Freshly posted on TikTok:

My girlfriend wants us to try couples counseling and I said we should use my therapist because he already knows what’s wrong with her.

Spotted on Telegram:

Not to be a nerd, but a well-placed semicolon is hot as hell.

Trending via WeChat:

I’m equally comfortable holding a guitar as I am holding a baby, I just hold them both by the neck.

Going viral on Discord:

Stop making eye contact with me, I can’t afford a wedding right now.

Live now on Pinterest:

Take a broken girl, fix her. And she will go back to the same guy again.

Making waves on Slack:

The real pandemic was when everyone was reading The Subtle Art of Not Giving a F*ck.

Going viral on Snapchat:

Welcome to my very loose interpretation of β€˜functioning adult’.

Seen just now on Discord:

My favorite things about Twitter are that everything you read is true, everyone is nice, and all intentions are pure of heart.

Shared recently on Messenger:

Running feels great until you compare it to not running.

Trending via X:

Broke my work phone. I can’t talk on it anymore. I should have done this a long time ago.

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