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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇹🇳 has downloaded:

What archaeologists are really looking for is a hand digging back.

Someone from 🇸🇪 has downloaded:

After weeks of using an anti aging cream, I can now proudly say: I now have very well-maintained wrinkles.

Someone from 🇮🇳 has copied:

Be bold, be italic, but never regular.

Someone from 🇱🇺 has shared:

We should start referring to age as “levels.” So when you’re level 80, it sounds a lot cooler than just being an older person.

Someone from 🇸🇮 has bookmarked:

There’s nothing I hate more than a failed nap attempt.

Someone from 🇪🇷 has viewed:

I’m a big believer in not going to work on your birthday!

Someone from 🇦🇩 has copied:

I hate interviewing. Just hire me. I stand on business, for real.

Someone from 🇮🇸 has downloaded:

They’re releasing another “Jurassic” movie. Let me guess: The dinosaurs get loose.

Someone from 🇿🇲 has copied:

Yeah, bro, she’s probably just not using her phone right now, for the first time ever in her whole life.

Someone from 🇳🇴 has shared:

Who knew that the hardest part of being an adult is figuring out what to cook for dinner every single night for the rest of your life.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

calculating…

Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Feb 3, 2026

3,753

Social Media Log 💫

Shared recently on X:

In search of someone who loves me as much as I love my snooze button.

Shared recently on LinkedIn:

So I just checked my bank account, and it looks like for Christmas I am getting everyone the thought that counts.

Going bananas on Twitch:

Cancelling a date so I can order pizza and go to bed at 8:30 p.m.

Spotted on Threads:

My dad thought Siri would be more helpful finding a lemon ricotta recipe if he used an Italian accent.

Going bananas on LinkedIn:

Female breasts are nature’s anti-stress balls. The irony is that they are connected to the biggest stress-inducing device.

Broadcasted on WhatsApp:

The secret to being a private person is to overshare dumb shit so people think you are an open book but then not tell them any of the important details of your life.

Spotted on Discord:

At this point, if you buy Tesla, everyone is just going to assume you are a loser.

Just landed via Telegram:

Saying “Who is it?” when the doctor knocks on the exam room door.

Spotted on TikTok:

Vegetables are actually pretty good when they’re fried.

Breaking via Twitch:

Three drinks in and that skateboard outside is looking rideable.

Funny muscles quotes

Funny muscles quotes 💪😂 are the perfect blend of humor and fitness motivation! Whether you’re pumping iron or just flexing in the mirror, these witty lines add a playful twist to your workout routine. Get ready to laugh, lift, and love your gains with some clever muscle humor that keeps the vibes light and the energy high! 🏋️‍♂️😄 #FitnessFun #MuscleLaughs

New funny muscles quotes 👇

Did you know 17 muscles are activated when you’re crying? Fitness is my passion.

4 weeks ago

crying, exercise, fitness, humor, irony, know, muscle, muscles, passion
About 40 muscles are activated when you eat just one donut. Follow me for more fitness advice.

4 weeks ago

40, advice, calory, donut, eat, eating, exercise, fitness, follow, humor, joke, just, me, muscles, snack
How long do you actually have to wear a muscle shirt until you get muscles?

1 month ago

fitness, humor, irony, muscle, muscle shirt, muscles, patience, shirt, wear, workout
I have 206 bones, 650 muscles and 50 billion cells in my body. It takes time to wake up all of them up in the morning.

1 month ago

50, biology, body, bones, cells, energy, humor, i, morning, muscles, sleep, time, wake, wake up
Just did several sets of some bullshit at the gym… no idea which muscles have been targeted.

1 month ago

bullshit, confusion, exercise, fitness, gym, humor, idea, joke, just, muscle, muscles, targeted, training, workout

All funny muscles quotes & images can be used for free for non-commercial purposes 👌

Random Funny Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

72 shares on Reddit this month:

Nothing says sexy like a pair of sensible, silky polka dot PJs.

23 shares on Discord this month:

Happiness is having a large, caring, close-knit family in another city.

74 shares on Twitch this month:

Middle-aged math is going out drinking and feeling half your age then waking up the next morning feeling twice your age.

95 shares on Messenger this month:

If you ever see me running, it’s either away from my problems or towards an ice cream van.

26 shares on WhatsApp this month:

Some people should have read-only access to the internet.

69 shares on Slack this month:

The man who invented autocorrect has died. Restaurant in peace.

37 shares on Instagram this month:

Maybe Rome was built in a day. I wasn’t there.

30 shares on Threads this month:

Ask a man what a good woman is, and watch him describe a slave.

95 shares on Discord this month:

Studies show that sleepwalking has decreased among Americans over the last 10 years. Typical lazy Americans.

81 shares on X this month:

If you’re reading a book in public, you better be on at least page 140 or something.

Trending Topics 📁

Hot Jokes 💥

16 folks are currently checking 👀

Twitter is fun. You kinda just talk to yourself and sometimes someone replies.

22 folks are currently checking 👀

I’m at the age where I understand why my parents never wanted to stop for anything on the way home from work.

14 folks are currently checking 👀

If I climbed all the way to the top of Mount Everest and looked up, then I’d finally see the top of our family’s weekly laundry pile.

12 folks are currently checking 👀

Just went to the Oreo website and hit “accept all cookies” … and now we wait.

9 folks are currently checking 👀

The answer is always no, I did not get enough sleep.

20 folks are currently checking 👀

The cinema vibe is my favorite, you literally forget about the world for like 2-3 hours.

6 folks are currently checking 👀

My favorite animal is me when my feelings are hurt.

5 folks are currently checking 👀

Oxygen was discovered in 1773. How did our ancestors breathe before then?

19 folks are currently checking 👀

The worst part of coming out of a hyperfixation is sobering up and looking at all the merch you bought that you didn’t need.

24 folks are currently checking 👀

When my cat gets in trouble I call him by his full name, Catthew.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

calculating…

Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Updated

Feb 3, 2026

Users Online

3,748

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇻🇪 has copied:

Difference between a flirt and harassment: if you are handsome, it’s a flirt, if you are ugly, it’s harassment.

Someone from 🇲🇪 has shared:

The downside of common sense is, having to deal with those that lack it.

Someone from 🇨🇴 has bookmarked:

I hate texting. Just hunt me like an animal.

Someone from 🇨🇫 has downloaded:

You can’t stop me. My tampon wrapper told me I was bold and brilliant.

Someone from 🇻🇺 has copied:

The dumbest people have the loudest opinions on politics.

Someone from 🇦🇷 has copied:

Money saved by using public transport instead of an Uber is paid for with your time and mental health instead.

Someone from 🇹🇲 has downloaded:

A girl like me should be in the sky, sitting on a star.

Someone from 🇲🇪 has bookmarked:

I am a friend to all cats. Yes, even the mean ones. They have their reasons.

Someone from 🇶🇦 has viewed:

My plans for today? Same as always, drink coffee and be sexy.

Someone from 🇧🇪 has bookmarked:

I’m not alone. I have ants.

Social Media Log 💫

Just landed via YouTube:

“I need a movie where the villain actually won!” Have you tried watching the news?

Freshly posted on X:

People say nothing is impossible, but I do nothing every day.

Trending via Reddit:

Micro-dosing time travel by going to bed.

Seen just now on Twitch:

I wish berries were the size of apples. Just imagine for a second.

Making waves on WhatsApp:

You’re still ragebaiting? Everyone is on vagueposting now. Keep up.

Going bananas on Slack:

After ejaculation, men automatically realize that everything is vanity upon vanity.

Seen just now on Messenger:

I hope Google never goes down. I know like six, maybe seven, things.

Spreading quickly via LinkedIn:

Tears for Fears: Everybody wants to rule the world. Me: Some of us just want eight hours of uninterrupted sleep.

Seen just now on WeChat:

I bet before the band got popular, Barenaked Ladies concerts had a lot of pissed off attendees.

Spotted on Facebook:

When they dress up really nice, but all you can think about is the thrill of taking it off.

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