Wordgag ツ

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇫🇷 has downloaded:

How long are you allowed to hide in the bathroom during family visits?

Someone from 🇵🇾 has copied:

When I say I like when older men tell me what to do, I am talking about Yoda and his teachings.

Someone from 🇵🇪 has copied:

After a vacation, I usually return to work with a fresh, reenergized hatred for my job.

Someone from 🇧🇴 has copied:

Fact: Snow in November happens because people decorate for Christmas prematurely. You know who you are. Stop it.

Someone from 🇩🇪 has downloaded:

You can’t hurt my feelings, I used to bring my dad the wrong tools.

Someone from 🇸🇨 has downloaded:

One day we will tell our grandkids how far we had to scroll to get to the recipe.

Someone from 🇵🇭 has downloaded:

My back and I are definitely not the same age.

Someone from 🇬🇧 has shared:

My superpower is to wake up more tired than I was when I fell asleep.

Someone from 🇬🇳 has shared:

Men invented arm wrestling so they could hold hands and look into each other’s eyes.

Someone from 🇿🇼 has shared:

Never forget that your fave celebs were trying to sell you cartoon monkey pictures during a pandemic.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

calculating…

Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Updated

Feb 3, 2026

Users Online

3,717

Social Media Log 💫

Shared recently on YouTube:

You know that tingly little feeling you get when you like someone? That’s common sense leaving your body.

Spreading quickly via Telegram:

I just found out I have to go on dates to get a boyfriend. I’m sick to my stomach.

Going viral on YouTube:

There’s a disgusting pervert at the bar watching pornography over my shoulder.

Just landed via Threads:

Are you my pinky toe, because I will bang you on all my furniture.

Breaking via LinkedIn:

There’s a word in modern Hungarian slang, egérmozi, which describes watching films (or shows) on your phone. It means “mouse cinema”.

Just shared via YouTube:

This site could use some more people who like to argue about literally anything.

Just landed via Snapchat:

Garlic and bread is the only marriage I truly have faith in.

Broadcasted on Instagram:

You don’t know about stupidity until your female friends open up about their love life.

Trending via Pinterest:

The most disturbing thing about waking up at 4 a.m. is realizing some people do this on purpose so they can exercise.

Making waves on Snapchat:

Super excited about a brand new week of hanging on by a thread.

Funny nemesis quotes

Funny nemesis quotes bring a hilarious twist to rivalry and friendly battles 🤼‍♂️😂 Whether you’re dealing with a frenemy or just love witty comebacks, these clever sayings add spice to any showdown 🌶️💥 Get ready to laugh, clap back, and maybe even make peace with a smile 😏✌️ Perfect for sharing when you want to keep things light but oh-so-entertaining!

New funny nemesis quotes 👇

All funny nemesis quotes & images can be used for free for non-commercial purposes 👌

Random Funny Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

50 shares on Threads this month:

What if babies had two umbilical cords and if you cut the wrong one, it exploded?

29 shares on Slack this month:

Don’t let anyone ruin your day. Be a man. Ruin it yourself.

63 shares on Pinterest this month:

If onion powder is dehydrated onions blitzed into powder, how much onion powder would I need to consume to have eaten a whole onion?

23 shares on Facebook this month:

Men used to go to war. Now they say, “Hey, Grok.”

21 shares on X this month:

I once made a joke to a coworker, and she said, “It was the funniest thing I ever said,” and suggested I post it. It got 10 likes.

38 shares on Facebook this month:

What are cats even trying to do?

73 shares on WhatsApp this month:

I don’t have a nervous system, I am a nervous system.

70 shares on WhatsApp this month:

Love when plans get canceled. It’s like getting a snow day as an adult.

49 shares on Slack this month:

This chapter of my life is called “Ummm, okay, I guess whatever.”

87 shares on Reddit this month:

Stop blaming others for your mistakes. Study Feng Shui and blame the furniture.

Trending Topics 📁

activity communication day food frustration fun humor i irony joke just know life love me media people procrastination relationship sarcasm social social media someone technology time want work

Hot Jokes 💥

17 folks are currently checking 👀

Cynics are – beneath it all – only idealists with awkwardly high standards.

8 folks are currently checking 👀

Oh, you like NYC? Name every rat.

18 folks are currently checking 👀

Whoever named the grapefruit when there was already a fruit named grape. Incompetent legend. I wish we could hang out.

25 folks are currently checking 👀

Today I choose kindness, but we’ll see, it’s still early.

16 folks are currently checking 👀

Counting calories is a great way to combine super fun things like math and not eating.

13 folks are currently checking 👀

“This too shall pass.” And then some other bullshit will come and take its place. It never f**king ends.

18 folks are currently checking 👀

Men tell you “I know a place” and bring you to the brink of madness.

22 folks are currently checking 👀

April Fool’s next week and still no one has asked me to be their fool.

23 folks are currently checking 👀

What did parents do before smart phones, hold their babies with two hands or something?

16 folks are currently checking 👀

Proudly doing my part to cause the male loneliness epidemic.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

calculating…

Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Updated

Feb 3, 2026

Users Online

3,646

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇻🇳 has downloaded:

Think about how many more lovers you’d have if a cross country high-speed rail existed. That’s what they are taking away from you.

Someone from 🇬🇦 has copied:

You ever have one of those days that require the use of both of your middle fingers?

Someone from 🇬🇼 has bookmarked:

The empty side of your bed is for books and chocolate, not for liars who snore.

Someone from 🇨🇬 has downloaded:

Whispering to paramedic before I pass out: save me, but not enough that I have to go to work tomorrow.

Someone from 🇻🇳 has downloaded:

Bartenders be like “here’s that receipt, I’ll go ahead and put it on the wettest part of the bar”.

Someone from 🇯🇴 has downloaded:

Maximizing rent value by turning ‘homebody’ into an Olympic sport!

Someone from 🇧🇷 has bookmarked:

When you think about it, Jesus really accomplished a lot in the four months between Christmas and Easter.

Someone from 🇧🇫 has shared:

Twitter is the only place you argue with CEOs and heads of states while sleeping in the kitchen.

Someone from 🇮🇹 has downloaded:

The only hot singles in my area are in my wallet.

Someone from 🇨🇳 has bookmarked:

Why is everyone mean to the kindest people for absolutely no reason?

Social Media Log 💫

Going viral on WhatsApp:

I welcome change as long as nothing is altered or different than before.

Freshly posted on Instagram:

I always knew I’d get old. How fast it happened was a bit of a surprise though.

Just shared via YouTube:

My level of sarcasm’s gotten to a point where I don’t even know if I’m kidding or not.

Just shared via TikTok:

Winter hack: Avoid the cold by never leaving your house.

Just shared via Facebook:

It is a mistake to say that the people who live a hundred years from now will have nothing to laugh at. They can laugh at us.

Shared recently on Snapchat:

Mothers will invent chores just to be mad you’re not doing them too.

Shared recently on YouTube:

The feminine urge to open a coffee shop that’s also a library, a bakery, and a flower shop.

Spotted on Twitch:

Parenting just means you have to pretend you like to eat fruits and vegetables in front of your kids, knowing you’d rather eat a cheeseburger instead.

Trending via Snapchat:

He’s a 10, but it’s the pain scale.

Going viral on Snapchat:

Jeans have the tendency of looking neat when you’re about to wash them.

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