62 Funny nobody quotes

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  5 months ago

  Share →: Nobody seems more shocked, disappointed and dismayed than the person behind the post office counter when I arrive and say I’ve got something to post.

  Commentary:
  💌 When I show up at the post office, it's like I've just announced a major plot twist in a telenovela! The look of shock on the post office worker's face is truly priceless. I mean, who knew mailing a package could cause such a commotion? 😂 #PostOfficeDrama #SurpriseDelivery

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  5 months ago

  Share →: Nobody ever talks about how Sodom and Gomorrah were walkable cities.

  Commentary:
  "Who knew that the downfall of Sodom and Gomorrah wasn't fire and brimstone, but pesky urban planning issues? 🚶‍♂️🏙️ Maybe they should've invested in some nice sidewalks instead of, you know, debauchery and sin! 😆"

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  5 months ago

  Share →: We must all do our part for the planet. The other day I unplugged a row of electric cars nobody was using.

  Commentary:
  "Doing your part for the planet, one unplug at a time! Who knew saving the environment could be so easy? 🌏⚡️😂 #EnvironmentalHero"

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  5 months ago

  Share →: Nobody could stop me if I wasn’t tired all the time.

  Commentary:
  "Looks like fatigue is the real superhero's kryptonite! 💤⚡️ Who needs a cape when you've got a cozy bed calling your name? 😂 #SleepySquad"

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  5 months ago

  Share →: Nobody warns you of the devastation two days of stuffing will bring upon your digestive system.

  Commentary:
  Oh, the tragedy of Thanksgiving aftermath! 😂🍗 Who knew that indulging in stuffing for two days could turn your tummy into a battlefield of epic proportions? 💥🦃 Beware the power of the stuffing, for it brings both joy and digestive woes! 😆🍂

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  5 months ago

  Share →: Nobody sighs louder than an unemployed, debt-free dog who spends at least 16 hours a day sleeping.

  Commentary:
  "Talk about the ruff life! 🐶 Unemployment, debt-free, and snoozing away like it's a full-time job? Sounds like this dog has it all figured out! Maybe we should take some notes from our four-legged friend on how to master the art of relaxation! 💤😂"

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  5 months ago

  Share →: If you like someone, set them free. If they comeback, it means nobody liked them. Set them free again.

  Commentary:
  "Ah, the ol' 'set them free and if they come back, they're probably just lost' strategy. 🤷‍♂️ Who knew relationships could be so confusing? Might need a GPS for this love rollercoaster! 🗺️🎢"

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  5 months ago

  Share →: When you get angry, take a breath and count to ten. Throw a punch at eight. Nobody expects that.

  Commentary:
  "Remember, folks: anger management is all about timing!🤛😤 Just when they think you're all zen at ten, BAM – surprise punch at eight! Keep 'em on their toes!😜💥"

• 

  5 months ago

  Share →: I have poor night vision so I upgraded to LED headlights because it’s important to me to ensure nobody else can see either.

  Commentary:
  "Who needs night vision when you can blind everyone with your LED headlights, am I right? 🌟😂 Safety first, visibility second… or third… or maybe somewhere down the line! 💡😎 #BlindedByTheLights"

• 

  5 months ago

  Share →: You can add “cha cha cha” to any sentence you want without explaining yourself. Nobody really appreciates this.

  Commentary:
  Ah, the power of the mysterious "cha cha cha!" 🕺💬 It's like adding a sprinkle of salsa to a bland conversation; unexpected and slightly confusing, but undeniably fun! Maybe it's time to bring a little cha cha cha into the world of formal speeches and boardroom meetings… Or not. 😄 #ChaChaChaChaos

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