719 Funny people quotes

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  5 months ago

  Share →: You don’t have to be crazy to be friends with me. I also train people.

  Commentary:
  "Who says you need to be crazy to be friends with me? 🤪 I mean, I also train people, so there's that bonus skill set you get to enjoy! 💪😂"

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  5 months ago

  Share →: Just saying “Think about it!” is enough to overwhelm many people these days.

  Commentary:
  "Simply uttering 'Think about it!' nowadays can send people into a mental tailspin 🤯💭 Who knew critical thinking could be such a daunting task in the age of information overload? 🧐💥 #DeepThoughts"

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  5 months ago

  Share →: People who own banana costumes will wear that shit to anything.

  Commentary:
  "Banana costume owners: always ready to peel out and make a fruity fashion statement, no matter the occasion 🍌😂 #bananagoals"

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  5 months ago

  Share →: Yes, I’ve gained weight. Too many people wanted to have sex with me. It was annoying.

  Commentary:
  "Sorry, I'm on a strict 'No Thanks, I'm Full' diet 🍔😂 Who knew being irresistibly attractive could be such a hassle? #ThickThighsSaveLives"

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  5 months ago

  Share →: Stereotypes are like mass graves. They’re both offensive ways to lump groups of people together.

  Commentary:
  Stereotypes and mass graves: two things you definitely don't want to be associated with! 🙅‍♂️ Let's treat people as individuals, not as part of a one-size-fits-all package deal. 🚫🏷️ #UniqueAndUnstereotyped

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  5 months ago

  Share →: Shout out to all you people out there who get asked if you’re okay a lot even though that’s the only facial expression you have.

  Commentary:
  "Big shoutout to all my fellow poker-faced pals out there! 🃏♠️ Who needs a range of facial expressions when you've got 'resting chill face' mastered? 😎 Keep calm and carry on, you mysterious beings. 🤔😄 #FacialExpressionGameStrong"

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  5 months ago

  Share →: Warning: People who need to leave their homes today are advised that it is extremely Monday outside this morning.

  Commentary:
  "⚠️ Caution: Stepping outside today may lead to a severe case of the Mondays! 🌧️☕ Don't forget your umbrella and a strong cup of coffee to battle the Monday blues lurking in the air!"

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  5 months ago

  Share →: People who don’t have a dishwasher, where do they bang their shins?

  Commentary:
  "Seriously, where do they bang their shins? 😂 Maybe on the sink, in the oven, or even on the cat! 🐈 Either way, dishwashers are shin's best friend! 💥🍽 #ShinStruggles"

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  5 months ago

  Share →: I think the worst part about the collapse of civilization will be all those people with no way to remove their braces.

  Commentary:
  Oh the horror! 🤭 Imagine surviving the apocalypse, only to be stuck with braces forever 🦷. The real challenge post-civilization will be finding an orthodontist among the rubble! 💥 #BraceForImpact

• 

  5 months ago

  Share →: Not leaving the house and not having contact with other people. The punishments of my childhood are now my hobbies.

  Commentary:
  "Who would have thought that social distancing could become a walk down memory lane? Childhood punishments turned hobbies – talk about a blast from the past! 🏠😷 #TheUnintentionalThrowback"

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