Wordgag ツ

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇸🇧 has shared:

People found guilty of not using punctuation deserve the longest sentence possible.

Someone from 🇳🇬 has viewed:

No, thanks—social drama. Puberty sucked enough the first time around.

Someone from 🇮🇱 has shared:

If you’re going to walk in my shoes, please also wear my FitBit.

Someone from 🇷🇸 has downloaded:

I’m not “late”, I’m just very creative with my interpretation of “time”.

Someone from 🇹🇭 has bookmarked:

“Alcohol and beautiful women” is apparently not an appropriate answer when you are asked about your weaknesses in a job interview.

Someone from 🇲🇾 has bookmarked:

I’m so single. When they ask me for an emergency contact, I put the neighbor’s dog.

Someone from 🇧🇫 has downloaded:

Not all who wander are lost. Some are just moms. In Target. Hiding from their children.

Someone from 🇧🇼 has viewed:

Imagine hating me and I don’t notice.

Someone from 🇮🇳 has copied:

Whenever I get up my cat gets up too and then yells at me like it’s my fault she decided we have to do this together.

Someone from 🇪🇬 has downloaded:

Nightmares are so embarrassing. Why is my anxiety working the night shift?

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

215 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,484

Funny Quotes Topics

17,554

Funny Quotes Images

15,484

Updated

Jan 5, 2026

Users Online

3,637

Social Media Log 💫

Seen just now on Twitch:

Cheating on a partner should affect your credit score.

Live now on Twitch:

They should invent a second airport for people who have been in public before.

Spotted on Reddit:

“Try it all before you die” is always drugs and sex, never quantum physics.

Just landed via WeChat:

Sometimes I rock it as a parent, other times I drop my phone on my sleeping child while taking a picture of it. It’s called balance.

Just landed via WhatsApp:

Salsa counts as a serving of vegetables, right?

Going viral on Facebook:

Why does tiredness on the couch not follow me to the bed?

Just landed via Snapchat:

Babe, are you OK? You’ve barely touched your unread books.

Shared recently on Telegram:

I’d like to know what my dog is thinking as he watches me try one outfit after another while getting ready for a party.

Trending via Instagram:

After you do your laundry, you should be allowed to get in the dryer and tumble for a little. No charge.

Making waves on Instagram:

Sorry I slowed down but I had to calculate if the bridge could hold the weight of my car with all the stuffed animals my kids insisted on bringing on vacation.

Funny philosopher quotes

Funny philosopher quotes 🤔😂 bring deep thoughts and belly laughs together in the most unexpected ways! These witty gems turn serious ideas into playful moments, proving that even the greatest minds loved a good chuckle. Ready to tickle your brain and funny bone at the same time? Let’s dive into the hilarious side of philosophy that’s sure to brighten your day! 🌟💡🤣

New funny philosopher quotes 👇

All funny philosopher quotes & images can be used for free for non-commercial purposes 👌

New Funny Quotes
🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Social Media Stars ⭐

81 shares on Facebook this month:

The early bird gets to cry for a little bit longer in the work parking lot.

19 shares on Twitch this month:

Exercise gives you energy, but you need energy to exercise. Sounds like a pyramid scheme to me.

41 shares on Reddit this month:

Enjoy your 30s, because in your 40s, your first check engine lights come on.

99 shares on Pinterest this month:

Ironically, the Internet was invented to save time.

65 shares on Twitch this month:

Normalize responding to work emails with: “What the hell are you talking about?”

85 shares on Messenger this month:

Responding to all selfies with “this should work.”

77 shares on Messenger this month:

Looking over both shoulders before googling “Chinese burger.”

96 shares on YouTube this month:

I’m changing the game. I’m starting to thank people from the top of my heart.

67 shares on Threads this month:

Finally, we’re living through precedented times.

49 shares on Discord this month:

I really don’t get enough praise for someone who doesn’t need validation from others.

Trending Topics 📁

activity communication day food frustration fun humor i irony joke just know life love me media people procrastination relationship sarcasm social social media someone technology time want work

Hot Jokes 💥

8 folks are currently checking 👀

With age comes wisdom. And digestive trouble.

13 folks are currently checking 👀

Just did several sets of some bullshit at the gym… no idea which muscles have been targeted.

8 folks are currently checking 👀

The only joke my mom ever made was me.

16 folks are currently checking 👀

Everybody’s back hurts until it’s time to have sexy time.

25 folks are currently checking 👀

Why do chefs always have to cut everything so fast? It’s just an onion man, why don’t you relax?

7 folks are currently checking 👀

I only use ‘sir’ disrespectfully.

14 folks are currently checking 👀

Roses are red, I’m staying in bed. I’ve made no plans, besides pretending I’m dead.

5 folks are currently checking 👀

I never had kids because little kids see too many ghosts and that’s something I’d rather not know about.

14 folks are currently checking 👀

Why is it cute when a baby falls asleep clutching a bottle. Yet, when I do it, it’s “concerning”?

18 folks are currently checking 👀

If I was a weather man, I’d leak the weather early to pretty women.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

215 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,484

Funny Quotes Topics

17,554

Funny Quotes Images

15,484

Updated

Jan 5, 2026

Users Online

3,486

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇾🇪 has copied:

Sometimes being on your phone all day is your destiny.

Someone from 🇵🇭 has copied:

Striking gold in your 40s: finding a close parking spot that’s in the shade on a hot summer day.

Someone from 🇻🇪 has copied:

I’ve been dieting for a little over a week and I already gained three pounds.

Someone from 🇧🇦 has bookmarked:

No one is excited to see me in shorts except mosquitoes.

Someone from 🇱🇹 has copied:

Being a parent means hearing a noise at 3 a.m. and hoping it’s just a ghost and not your toddler getting up again.

Someone from 🇰🇲 has viewed:

I want to live in a world where the plural of moose is mooses.

Someone from 🇭🇷 has copied:

Just got revenge on someone who wronged me many, many years ago. Never relax, I’m coming.

Someone from 🇪🇷 has bookmarked:

Friends with no kids are like: Want to go to New Zealand this Friday?

Someone from 🇩🇪 has viewed:

Isn’t your email address beautifulgirl@mydreams.com?

Someone from 🇩🇯 has shared:

Me, whenever I can easily do some yoga pose, “This can’t be right.”

Social Media Log 💫

Making waves on Discord:

…and so ends another week of me not becoming unexpectedly rich.

Freshly posted on Discord:

If the earth was flat, cats would have pushed everything off it by now.

Going viral on Twitch:

Food gives you energy to nap more.

Going bananas on LinkedIn:

Light travels faster than sound. This is why some people appear bright until you hear them speak.

Freshly posted on Twitch:

I have been touched inappropriately by the sun today.

Just shared via TikTok:

Do you all introverts ever open a text and think, ‘I’ll reply when I have the energy,’ and then it’s three weeks, and you have to live with the guilt of being a horrible friend.

Just shared via YouTube:

This meeting could have been a cave painting.

Going viral on Pinterest:

The person opposite me has a donut. I do not have a donut. That should be my donut. This person is now my arch nemesis.

Seen just now on LinkedIn:

Don’t blame a clown for acting like a clown. Ask yourself why you keep going to the circus.

Live now on Discord:

I am convinced that at least half of you are bots.

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