Wordgag ツ

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇲🇺 has bookmarked:

Honestly, shopping beats therapy, anytime. It costs the same and you get a dress out of it.

Someone from 🇵🇱 has shared:

I’m officially at the age where I understand why my parents never wanted to go anywhere after work.

Someone from 🇨🇬 has downloaded:

My fantasy is having two men at once. One cooking, one cleaning.

Someone from 🇿🇼 has shared:

Women are actually very understanding if you’re honest with them, especially if they like you. You don’t even have to do all that lying.

Someone from 🇱🇺 has viewed:

Don’t you hate it when you lose things? Like the motivation to do anything.

Someone from 🇪🇬 has shared:

I only attract psychopaths. If you’ve ever had a crush on me, find a therapist.

Someone from 🇰🇷 has viewed:

I’m not always annoying, sometimes I sleep too.

Someone from 🇺🇸 has viewed:

Unpopular Opinion: Die Hard is a Harry Potter movie. He sneaks around a tower at night avoiding Alan Rickman.

Someone from 🇾🇪 has bookmarked:

Are you ever so happy to be in bed, you wish you could be even more in bed than you already are?

Someone from 🇵🇦 has bookmarked:

Everyone’s gangster until they need to pee.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

241 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,510

Funny Quotes Topics

17,577

Funny Quotes Images

15,510

Jan 7, 2026

3,460

Social Media Log 💫

Going viral on X:

Who called it America and not the fast food and the furious?

Spotted on Telegram:

You have to stay up as needlessly late as possible to make the next day as horrible and hard as possible.

Just shared via Twitch:

My favorite part of socializing is when it’s over.

Live now on YouTube:

My doctor told me to watch my drinking. Now I drink in front of a mirror.

Shared recently on LinkedIn:

I don’t hate you. I just don’t like that you exist.

Trending via Pinterest:

The best way for me to stick to my diet is to go straight back to sleep after breakfast.

Spotted on Twitch:

At my next job, I’m gonna lie about having a kid so I can leave the office anytime I want like everyone else with children.

Spotted on Discord:

No one warned me that being an adult was mostly just hurrying up to get somewhere you don’t want to go in the first place.

Going bananas on Discord:

I said it was my favorite show, I didn’t say it was good.

Seen just now on Reddit:

Work from home is all fun and games until you lose grip on reality.

Funny pound quotes

Funny pound quotes are here to lighten your mood and tickle your funny bone! 😂 Whether you’re counting pennies or just love a clever twist on money matters 💸, these witty lines bring humor to the humble £. Perfect for sharing, laughing, and making everyday cash chats a bit more entertaining! 💬💰 Get ready to smile and see pounds in a whole new hilarious light! 😄✨

New funny pound quotes 👇

I realized Americans were dramatics the day I found out 200 lb is just 90 kg.

0

3 weeks ago

90, American, Americans, conversion, day, dramatic, dramatics, found, humor, i, just, kilogram, measurement, pound, weight

Someone from 🇰🇿 has recently copied this quote.

68 shares on Threads this month.
If you gain 4 pounds in one weekend, that just means you’re an overachiever.

0

2 months ago

4, achievement, diet, food, gain, humor, just, means, overachiever, pound, pounds, weekend

Someone from 🇷🇼 has recently shared this quote.

21 shares on WhatsApp this month.
I’m so old I remember when a hashtag was called a pound sign, and we played tic-tac-toe on top of it.

0

2 months ago

activity, fun, fun activity, hashtag, humor, i, memory, nostalgia, old, pound, pound sign, remember, sign, technology, tic-tac-toe, top

Someone from 🇮🇱 has recently bookmarked this quote.

82 shares on Facebook this month.

All funny pound quotes & images can be used for free for non-commercial purposes 👌

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Social Media Stars ⭐

25 shares on LinkedIn this month:

What, and I cannot stress this enough, day is it.

90 shares on Discord this month:

The worst thing about wearing headphones is when you hallucinate people shouting you. Like, why does this happen?

16 shares on WhatsApp this month:

Friends with no kids are like: Want to go to New Zealand this Friday?

73 shares on Twitch this month:

I modeled my morning routine on the humble rooster. Wake up, scream, wander around.

91 shares on Discord this month:

When fireworks were invented, it was ‘hisssss’ to ‘wheeeee’ in the making.

29 shares on Twitch this month:

Watched Titanic for the 14th time. Still sobbing. Still yelling, “SCOOT OVER, COW!” like it’ll change the ending.

42 shares on WeChat this month:

Do cats have a sense of causation between grooming themselves and coughing up hairballs, or do they think it’s just an annoying separate thing which just happens to them sometimes?

98 shares on Reddit this month:

Since the beginning of time itself, people have been wondering, what the hell is going on?

61 shares on TikTok this month:

I tried to walk like an Egyptian and now I need to see a Cairo practor.

79 shares on Instagram this month:

If I was on Love Island, I would get wasted and drown in the pool, altering the course of every contestant’s life forever.

Trending Topics 📁

Hot Jokes 💥

6 folks are currently checking 👀

It’s freaking me out to think of how bad I’d look at the Met Gala.

7 folks are currently checking 👀

It’s weird that Usher doesn’t have any songs about showing people to their seats.

19 folks are currently checking 👀

I wish I lived in a sitcom, and my friends just barged into my apartment uninvited.

11 folks are currently checking 👀

Girls will be like, “This is my comfort song,” and it’s the howling of a wolf inside a dark forest.

13 folks are currently checking 👀

The woman that cleaned my house could make a lot of money by threatening to release the before and after photos.

15 folks are currently checking 👀

If you really think about it, extraordinary isn’t that great. It’s just an extra helping of ordinary.

13 folks are currently checking 👀

Just saw a piece of jewelry made in the 80s described as “vintage,” so I’ll be laying down the rest of the day.

5 folks are currently checking 👀

Welcome to Twitter, where everyone is an expert on everything.

20 folks are currently checking 👀

My kid’s superpower is knowing he won’t like a food before he even tries it.

23 folks are currently checking 👀

You should never donate to people that collect money for marathons. They just take your money and run.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

241 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,510

Funny Quotes Topics

17,577

Funny Quotes Images

15,510

Updated

Jan 7, 2026

Users Online

3,687

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇷🇼 has downloaded:

YOLO because stupid people don’t know what Carpe Diem means.

Someone from 🇸🇩 has shared:

Look, a three-day weekend is all I ask. The rest can be four-day weekends.

Someone from 🇱🇾 has shared:

Never underestimate the healing power of a grilled cheese sandwich.

Someone from 🇵🇪 has copied:

“Don’t judge a book by its cover” is a beautiful, powerful sentiment that I fully ignore when book shopping.

Someone from 🇰🇭 has downloaded:

You’re either really good at wrapping presents or you’re really beautiful and funny. It’s one or the other.

Someone from 🇺🇿 has shared:

Going to a concert with a tomato in each hand just to make the band nervous.

Someone from 🇧🇹 has viewed:

Sometimes I wanna delete all my social media and throw my phone into a river.

Someone from 🇵🇾 has viewed:

The thing about sleep is that I’d like to get some of it.

Someone from 🇱🇦 has viewed:

I always ask for a receipt so I can keep them in my purse for 86 years.

Someone from 🇰🇲 has viewed:

People will make you sad but cheese will always make you happy. The choice is simple.

Social Media Log 💫

Making waves on Facebook:

Finding a person to make eye contact with during stupid meetings is essential to survival in the workplace.

Going bananas on Facebook:

The 70s, 80s, and 90s were the best decades – so many memories, no evidence.

Freshly posted on LinkedIn:

My motivation and me: It’s complicated.

Making waves on TikTok:

I hate that moment when you are tired and sleepy but as soon as you go to bed your body is like “just kidding.”

Breaking via WeChat:

I never used to worry about death but now I’m terrified it will break my winning Wordle streak.

Seen just now on Reddit:

Fact: Snow in November happens because people decorate for Christmas prematurely. You know who you are. Stop it.

Just shared via Discord:

I look like a casual, laid-back guy, but it’s like a circus in my head.

Just landed via Pinterest:

What part of “hiii” do you not get? I’m in love with you.

Freshly posted on Slack:

If Keith Richards survived the ’70s, the ’80s, and 1.2 million Marlboros, I can probably survive anything.

Spotted on Messenger:

Messed up and threw a surprise party for my minimalist friend. Now 25 of us are hiding behind the granite orb.

© 2026. All rights reserved.

Made with ❤️ in Sydney ☀️🌴