Wordgag ツ

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇹🇴 has copied:

Going ballistic. Anyone need anything?

Someone from 🇲🇭 has viewed:

I like how my fridge also hums when it’s trying to concentrate.

Someone from 🇨🇴 has viewed:

Drilling for oil is well boring.

Someone from 🇵🇰 has viewed:

Everybody say a little prayer for my husband, he just told me to calm down.

Someone from 🇹🇴 has downloaded:

I put the ‘no’ in ‘I will let u know’.

Someone from 🇦🇺 has copied:

Two words have helped me open a lot of doors in my life. Push and Pull.

Someone from 🇲🇾 has viewed:

I don’t do “casual.” I’m like an 18th-century vampire. When I fall in love, my devotion is boundless and eternal.

Someone from 🇮🇩 has copied:

The dead bodies on Mt. Everest remind me that it’s perfectly fine to stay home and be lazy.

Someone from 🇨🇭 has shared:

Santa went woke and gave me a small solar panel instead of coal.

Someone from 🇧🇮 has downloaded:

Notifications are a reminder that you exist.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

643 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,236

Funny Quotes Topics

17,359

Funny Quotes Images

15,236

Dec 30, 2025

3,750

Social Media Log 💫

Going viral on WeChat:

I don’t hate you, but I hope you run out of hot water before you’re finished your shower.

Just landed via WhatsApp:

I refuse to go to a blood bank. I’m not taking your blood money.

Shared recently on Slack:

If parallel universe exist, I hope the other me is doing well.

Shared recently on LinkedIn:

I’m not religious, but if someone is turning water into wine, let’s take a second look.

Shared recently on Threads:

I have a complicated relationship with push/pull doors.

Freshly posted on WeChat:

I can literally trace the moment my career died back to when my boss said he was in back-to-back meetings, and I said, “Isn’t face-to-face better?”

Freshly posted on Telegram:

Very difficult being a full grown adult with a terrible fear of being “in trouble”.

Seen just now on LinkedIn:

My most boomer complaint is that nobody knows how to bring an item out of courtesy to parties anymore.

Just landed via WhatsApp:

I make her eyes roll back. Not in bed though. I’m just annoying.

Just shared via Reddit:

People will love you. People will hate you. And none of it will have anything to do with you.

Funny protein quotes

Funny protein quotes are the perfect way to spice up your fitness journey with a splash of humor 💪😂 Whether you’re a gym rat or just love your shakes, these witty lines will make you smile while you flex those muscles 🍗🥚 Get ready to laugh, lift, and snack smarter with some protein-packed fun that’s sure to brighten your workout routine and fuel your day the funniest way possible! 🎉🔥

New funny protein quotes 👇

Had some plain yogurt with protein powder in it for breakfast, and not only is it high in protein and very filling, it’s also disgusting.

0

2 months ago

breakfast, disgusting, eating, filling, food, healthy, healthy eating, high, high protein, only, plain, powder, protein, protein powder, taste, yogurt
No, I didn’t eat enough protein today, but I did think of you with enough intensity to generate new muscle tissue in my heart.

0

2 months ago

affection, eat, enough, fitness, generate, heart, humor, i, intensity, irony, love, muscle, new, protein, romance, think, thought, today, witty
I don’t think the makers of protein powder have ever had chocolate.

0

2 months ago

chocolate, diet, ever, fitness, food, food humor, health, humor, i, irony, joke, makers, powder, protein, protein powder, think
Jan 1st: Avocado on whole grain toast with a protein shake. Jan 20th: Syrup comes from a tree so technically it’s a vegetable.

0

2 months ago

avocado, diet, food, humor, January, lifestyle, protein, protein shake, shake, syrup, toast, transformation, tree, vegetable, whole
When planning dinner, remember that ice-cream has both calcium and protein.

0

2 months ago

calcium, dinner, food, food humor, humor, ice cream, meal, meal planning, nutrition, planning, protein, remember
Oh, gross. I didn’t know there was protein in this powder. I was only drinking it for the lead.

0

2 months ago

drink, drinking, gross, humor, i, joke, know, lead, misunderstanding, oh, only, powder, protein
Do you think protein wants to be in all these things?

0

4 months ago

food, humor, nutrition, protein, question, science, things, think, wants
There’s protein in foods that have never been protein before.

0

5 months ago

before, diet, food, foods, health, humor, never, nutrition, protein, science, surprise

All funny protein quotes & images can be used for free for non-commercial purposes 👌

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

🎉🥂 New Year Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

87 shares on WeChat this month:

First you’re cringe, then you’re the blueprint.

74 shares on Instagram this month:

It’s really hard to come back after a poorly executed high five.

25 shares on Twitch this month:

Unsolicited sandwich pics.

93 shares on Facebook this month:

Turns out “YouTube rabbit hole” is not a reliable science degree.

78 shares on WeChat this month:

Slowly descending into madness. Anyone want anything?

78 shares on Threads this month:

Cigarettes are a better networking tool than LinkedIn could ever dream of being.

62 shares on Discord this month:

If you don’t have anything nice to say, sign up for Twitter.

73 shares on X this month:

Whenever Im in trouble, I think, what would Jesus do? Then I pretend to be dead and disappear for 3 days.

96 shares on WeChat this month:

Nothing is more fake than my friendliness on the phone at work.

37 shares on Discord this month:

I was at a funeral yesterday and spiced things up by walking over to complete strangers and saying “Ignore what everyone else thinks. I, personally, have no issue with you being here”.

Trending Topics 📁

Hot Jokes 💥

13 folks are currently checking 👀

Do people who love escape rooms not know about IKEA?

11 folks are currently checking 👀

When they make a Hate Island, somebody link me.

24 folks are currently checking 👀

They say “When you snooze, you lose”… I say “When you take a nappy, you are happy.”

8 folks are currently checking 👀

Out of all my body parts, I’m sure my eyes are in the best shape. I do at least 463 eye rolls a day.

6 folks are currently checking 👀

I never learned to swim because I didn’t think it would ever be more than an hour since I last ate.

21 folks are currently checking 👀

Studies show young people are having less sex than previous generations. I knew I was ahead of my time.

8 folks are currently checking 👀

Don’t fall in love. It’s bad.

21 folks are currently checking 👀

Finally gathered all my thoughts and now they’re jumping me.

19 folks are currently checking 👀

Just cleaned my room in case Beyoncé was somewhere close to my house and her car broke down, and she needed somewhere to sleep.

16 folks are currently checking 👀

I never finish what I start. I have a black belt in partial arts.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

643 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,236

Funny Quotes Topics

17,359

Funny Quotes Images

15,236

Updated

Dec 30, 2025

Users Online

3,861

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇰🇷 has bookmarked:

It’s not sleeping alone if there are crumbs in your bed.

Someone from 🇰🇮 has shared:

Do not take me to an escape room. I was a c-section. Someone is gonna have to come get me.

Someone from 🇳🇱 has viewed:

Stop making eye contact with me, I can’t afford a wedding right now.

Someone from 🇷🇸 has shared:

The advantage of being an identical twin: you only need one gym contract.

Someone from 🇸🇦 has bookmarked:

I want a pet eagle that’s trained to steal people’s sandwiches for me.

Someone from 🇰🇷 has copied:

Life tip: If all of your bathrooms are full and you’re waiting for someone to finish, just turn off the WiFi in the house.

Someone from 🇨🇱 has shared:

Unlike the brain, the stomach alerts you when it’s empty.

Someone from 🇻🇨 has shared:

The 5 seconds in the morning, when I don’t yet know who I am, is the best time of the day.

Someone from 🇲🇬 has bookmarked:

It is a mistake to say that the people who live a hundred years from now will have nothing to laugh at. They can laugh at us.

Someone from 🇦🇬 has bookmarked:

My car spider built a web across my steering wheel and now I can’t go anywhere.

Social Media Log 💫

Just shared via LinkedIn:

Starting to think I’m single because of everyone else’s shortcomings.

Trending via Snapchat:

My life is simple, I see a queue of more than 6 people, I go home.

Spotted on Facebook:

“Do you like using Twitter?” Does Sisyphus like his boulder?

Spreading quickly via WhatsApp:

Every man learns for himself the uselessness of owning an iPad.

Making waves on Telegram:

I’m afraid to go to therapy — what if they fix me and I lose my funny?

Freshly posted on Discord:

Rewatching my story every time somebody heart it to see what they see.

Making waves on Facebook:

Really looking forward to the day my teenager starts speaking English again.

Freshly posted on Snapchat:

I don’t understand all the fuss about ChatGPT – I have teenagers who already know everything.

Freshly posted on X:

Sperm me would be swimming in the other direction.

Making waves on Facebook:

When I’m drafting a legal document, I’ll sprinkle the word “herein” all over that thing like it’s paprika.

© 2025. All rights reserved.

Made with ❤️ in Sydney ☀️🌴