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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇧🇼 has bookmarked:

I’m getting targeted ads about chin fat and I’m offended by the relevance.

Someone from 🇦🇪 has copied:

It’s now socially acceptable again to clap when the plane lands.

Someone from 🇯🇲 has downloaded:

Being an adult is like folding a fitted sheet.

Someone from 🇨🇷 has shared:

Sunday night: Super Bowl party! Monday morning: Toilet Bowl party!

Someone from 🇧🇭 has shared:

Sorry I missed your call. I saw that you were calling and immediately threw my phone into an active volcano.

Someone from 🇸🇧 has bookmarked:

I’m a simple girl, really. I just want to watch the sunset, laugh, drink coffee, and read books. I also want a time machine and a pet dragon.

Someone from 🇳🇴 has viewed:

Some people spend a fortune so they can circle the world. I drink some beer and the world circles around me.

Someone from 🇾🇪 has bookmarked:

Toddlers are like puppies, they don’t care if they’re dirty and smelly and they both have an affinity exploring the trash bin.

Someone from 🇧🇮 has copied:

Cowboy outfits should be called ranch dressing.

Someone from 🇧🇿 has bookmarked:

I’ve already broken all my resolutions and like four commandments.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

calculating…

Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Updated

Feb 3, 2026

Users Online

3,404

Social Media Log 💫

Just shared via Threads:

My main takeaway from ‘The Walking Dead’ is that you can still eat the expired canned goods in your pantry.

Trending via Discord:

You’re 25, stressing like you’re 40, because you want to be rich before 30, am I right?

Breaking via Reddit:

Who’s your favorite horror director? Mine’s God.

Broadcasted on WeChat:

It’s unfortunate that scrubbing the floors on your hands and knees is so much more effective than mopping.

Going bananas on Pinterest:

My morning routine is basically just me convincing myself not to go back to bed.

Trending via Facebook:

Coding: Where incessantly talking to yourself seems completely normal and debugging is like being a detective in a movie where you are both the detective and the perpetrator.

Trending via YouTube:

I wanna date someone cuter than me, but sadly I am the cutest.

Making waves on YouTube:

No, baby, I’m not dumping you. I’m just rebranding myself as your ex.

Breaking via Instagram:

If it’s a ghost ship, why does it have to be on water?

Shared recently on TikTok:

At this point, if a clown invited me into the woods, I would just go.

15 Funny purchase quotes

Funny purchase quotes are the perfect way to add a sprinkle of humor 😂 to your shopping sprees 🛍️ and money moments 💸. Whether you’re a savvy saver or a carefree spender, these witty lines will make you smile 😄 and maybe rethink that impulse buy! Get ready to laugh at the quirky side of shopping and finance—because who says budgeting can’t be fun? 🎉🛒

New funny purchase quotes 👇

For even more funny purchase quotes, hit next 👇

All funny purchase quotes & images can be used for free for non-commercial purposes 👌

Funny Quotes Collections
✨ New Funny Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

84 shares on Slack this month:

Not now, kitten. Mommy’s destroying and betraying herself for nothing.

86 shares on Pinterest this month:

At least men and women can agree on one thing: it feels amazing to take a bra off.

76 shares on Telegram this month:

Every time you break spaghetti noodles in half, an Italian has a stroke.

16 shares on Telegram this month:

I usually start exploring the abyss around 7 p.m.

18 shares on Discord this month:

Maybe the reason Miss Piggy is still single is she has a fear of kermitment.

13 shares on WhatsApp this month:

Before I agree to the new year, I wanna read the terms and conditions.

56 shares on Instagram this month:

My last husband’s name is Don. I just added an E to it and walked away.

49 shares on Telegram this month:

Your Starbucks order leads me to believe that you’re very difficult to deal with.

50 shares on Facebook this month:

People should come with warning labels.

37 shares on X this month:

And now begins the yearly tradition of writing the incorrect year on everything, for the next 3 months.

Trending Topics 📁

activity communication day food frustration fun humor i irony joke just know life love me media people procrastination relationship sarcasm social social media someone technology time want work

Hot Jokes 💥

17 folks are currently checking 👀

*Googles: How to fake your own death and erase existence before 9am Monday morning.

12 folks are currently checking 👀

The person opposite me has a donut. I do not have a donut. That should be my donut. This person is now my arch nemesis.

10 folks are currently checking 👀

Monetizing Twitter was actually the worst thing to happen to this app. Everybody rage-baiting for 23 cents.

11 folks are currently checking 👀

“I asked Grok.” “I asked ChatGPT.” Well, I asked R2D2, and he said you’re a loser.

11 folks are currently checking 👀

I read classics because my FOMO is making me want to understand every reference ever.

17 folks are currently checking 👀

Before I agree to the new year, I wanna read the terms and conditions.

7 folks are currently checking 👀

I don’t understand, but I also don’t care… so it works out.

8 folks are currently checking 👀

I should go to jail so I can focus on the gym.

5 folks are currently checking 👀

Eat whatever you want. If someone calls you fat, eat them too.

12 folks are currently checking 👀

We literally used to write an essay by hand.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

calculating…

Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Updated

Feb 3, 2026

Users Online

3,762

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇬🇦 has copied:

Looking to sell my DeLorean. Great shape, low mileage. Only driven from time to time.

Someone from 🇩🇰 has copied:

Coolest part about starting a new job is the immunity to disease you get for 3 months till you get sick days.

Someone from 🇬🇼 has copied:

I tried meowing back at the cat to show him I was making an effort, but he just switched to English.

Someone from 🇹🇷 has shared:

So it turns out that being an adult is mostly just Googling how to do stuff.

Someone from 🇩🇴 has downloaded:

Standing on a scale and thinking: so much wisdom and inner beauty can’t be light.

Someone from 🇧🇧 has copied:

I wish I could Shazam a perfume.

Someone from 🇧🇪 has bookmarked:

The me who snips coupons needs to communicate better with the me who walks into the stores.

Someone from 🇱🇰 has copied:

I’m implementing a new policy in my house: any child who is awake past bedtime can either go to sleep or clean the house, no exceptions.

Someone from 🇳🇬 has downloaded:

Please don’t delete your post. Yes, it was pretty stupid, but my reply to it was a masterpiece.

Someone from 🇦🇫 has copied:

Nothing worse than realising you vented to the wrong person.

Social Media Log 💫

Making waves on Snapchat:

I’m the only person breathing through my nose at this Walmart.

Trending via TikTok:

I don’t run from my problems. I sit on my couch, play on my phone, and ignore them like all other adults.

Going viral on Discord:

I can’t go to war, I have to water my plants.

Going viral on YouTube:

I start each day assuming it will be horrible and go from there.

Trending via Instagram:

The week between Christmas and New Year’s should be studied as it is clearly a wormhole, disturbing time and space.

Spreading quickly via WeChat:

Love to come home after a long day’s work and relax with one thousand short-form videos.

Spreading quickly via Messenger:

I have this epiphany every night that I need to turn it up a notch.

Shared recently on Facebook:

Hello! I’m Britain’s greatest spy and my catchphrase is: I tell you my real surname, then my real forename, then my real surname again, in case you missed it.

Shared recently on Discord:

I’m a fully functional adult with the energy levels of a hibernating bear.

Spotted on Facebook:

I respect the moon’s unwillingness to be photographed on a phone.

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