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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇺🇸 has viewed:

The volume of my TV is 100% dependent on what I’m currently chewing on.

Someone from 🇬🇶 has bookmarked:

Name a better duo than sad and depressed.

Someone from 🇦🇪 has viewed:

I always carry a knife with me in case I run into someone with 10,000 spoons.

Someone from 🇨🇬 has downloaded:

Being a sleepy girl with a busy life is so hard.

Someone from 🇺🇿 has shared:

The guy in the stall beside doesn’t know he can shut off his camera shutter.

Someone from 🇸🇩 has bookmarked:

Ghosting is actually a sign of great respect in my culture.

Someone from 🇵🇼 has shared:

Took a personality test and the results just said “uh-oh”

Someone from 🇲🇲 has copied:

If politicians can text my cell phone asking for money, I should be able to text them directly with policy suggestions.

Someone from 🇦🇲 has shared:

The ideal man is always thinking of several cool things at once (throwing a football really far, a truck with big wheels, giving a lot of high fives).

Someone from 🇵🇱 has shared:

Every frozen pizza is a canvas that needs an artist’s touch.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

0 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,269

Funny Quotes Topics

17,387

Funny Quotes Images

15,269

Dec 31, 2025

3,530

Social Media Log 💫

Just shared via Snapchat:

Sometimes I wonder if the plot ever gets tired of being twisted.

Trending via YouTube:

How late is too late to still be lying in bed, naked, drinking coffee?

Breaking via Twitch:

I don’t know much about women, but they love containers that hold smaller containers.

Just landed via TikTok:

Wednesday is the part of the novel where the heroine stares out the window and questions everything.

Making waves on Telegram:

Just because it’s a bad idea doesn’t mean that it ain’t gonna be a hell of a lot of fun.

Spotted on Pinterest:

My new diet plan is to hibernate and live off all this fat I’ve accumulated.

Freshly posted on Reddit:

Women only want one thing, and it’s the power to cast men who tell us to smile right into a pit of giant venomous serpents.

Breaking via YouTube:

Opening up is like talking to a cop: anything you say can and will be used against you.

Shared recently on Instagram:

I want a president who promises no jobs. I don’t want to have a job.

Going bananas on Threads:

Stop blaming others for your mistakes. Study Feng Shui and blame the furniture.

Funny red light quotes

Funny red light quotes 🚦 are the perfect way to turn those frustrating stop moments into laughter-filled breaks! Whether you’re stuck in traffic or just waiting to go, these witty lines add a splash of humor to the everyday pause. Get ready to smile 😄, chuckle 😂, and maybe even share a giggle with fellow drivers. Because who says stopping at red lights can’t be fun? 🚗💨

New funny red light quotes 👇

Congratulations on getting to the red light first. You’re special.

0

2 days ago

congratulations, getting, humor, light, red, red light, sarcasm, special, traffic
Tailgating me while I’m going 90 in a 45 is crazy. And those red and blue lights on top of your car look stupid, btw, lol.

0

1 month ago

90, blue, blue light, car, crazy, driving, enforcement, going, law, law enforcement, light, lights, lol, me, police, red, red light, sarcasm, speeding, stupid, tailgate, top, traffic, while
Congratulations on angrily speeding past me to get to the red light first. You’re special.

0

2 months ago

congratulations, driving, humor, light, me, past, rage, red, red light, road, road rage, sarcasm, special, speeding
Sometimes, in the middle of eating a rotisserie chicken, I ask myself “did I just run a red light?”

0

2 months ago

chicken, eating, food, funny thought, humor, i, just, light, middle, myself, question, red, red light, run, self-reflection, thought
My super talent is hitting every red light on the way to wherever the hell I’m going.

0

3 months ago

bad, bad luck, commute, driving, every, frustration, going, hell, hitting, humor, light, luck, red, red light, super, super talent, talent, traffic, wherever

All funny red light quotes & images can be used for free for non-commercial purposes 👌

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

🎉🥂 New Year Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

64 shares on Discord this month:

Because of my looks, everyone only wants one thing from me, that I leave them alone.

30 shares on Slack this month:

The thumbs up emoji is a nice way to tell someone not only did you receive their message, you’re also done with the conversation.

52 shares on Pinterest this month:

I hate it when some random company refers to me as their “customer.” I’m like, look, we had one night of drunken shopping, we are not in a relationship.

84 shares on X this month:

Do you ever think back about all the crazy stuff you did when you were younger, and wonder how you’re still alive?

74 shares on WeChat this month:

Buying groceries with no food stamps should boost your credit score.

54 shares on LinkedIn this month:

Relationship rule: If the woman has told something and the man doesn’t remember, the man hasn’t listened. If the man has told something and the woman doesn’t remember, the man has never told it.

33 shares on Messenger this month:

I always leave my friends voicemails in case they suddenly decide to be a musician and need an interlude.

91 shares on Slack this month:

Today, I noticed that the cover of my ironing board was wrinkled, and I laughed at the irony. Then I laughed again because of the word “irony.”

75 shares on Instagram this month:

Living with a dog is 90% following each other around, watching each other go potty, and wondering what the other has in their mouth.

46 shares on LinkedIn this month:

Once you turn 25 years and above, there is no need to set an alarm. Your problems will wake you up by force.

Trending Topics 📁

Hot Jokes 💥

22 folks are currently checking 👀

Why go to the art museum when I can just stare at you?

24 folks are currently checking 👀

Nonchalant men are not for me. I want mine to have a panic attack if we’re not talking.

20 folks are currently checking 👀

My wife called to tell me she saw a fox on the way to work. I asked her how she knew it was on its way to work. She hung up on me.

15 folks are currently checking 👀

I can’t wait to open my phone tomorrow and find out what we’re mad about next.

13 folks are currently checking 👀

My brain is on airplane mode today.

25 folks are currently checking 👀

“You’re a flirt!” God forbid a girl has good communication skills.

6 folks are currently checking 👀

My boyfriend talks to everyone while I stand by quietly, planning my escape.

22 folks are currently checking 👀

I need to find hobbies that don’t include my debit card.

8 folks are currently checking 👀

Do you also watch porn until the end to see if they end up getting married?

13 folks are currently checking 👀

Three words no parent ever wants to hear when dropping their kid at a play date: “Come on in.”

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

0 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,269

Funny Quotes Topics

17,387

Funny Quotes Images

15,269

Updated

Dec 31, 2025

Users Online

3,511

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇦🇸 has viewed:

You look like you can go as yourself for Halloween.

Someone from 🇱🇺 has viewed:

The night before a day off is more satisfying than the actual day off.

Someone from 🇪🇬 has shared:

Children are so giving. For example, my kids gave me a cold.

Someone from 🇳🇴 has bookmarked:

Don’t ever forget where you came from. That’s where you left your car.

Someone from 🇬🇹 has shared:

This entire month could’ve been an email.

Someone from 🇰🇬 has copied:

Nobody bools anymore. In high school, everyone was booling.

Someone from 🇱🇹 has viewed:

No matter how old you are, when the kitchen roll is empty, you have a telescope.

Someone from 🇪🇨 has downloaded:

Don’t blame the holidays, you were already overweight in August.

Someone from 🇨🇺 has shared:

At some point, my colleagues will manage to get me my own true crime documentary on Netflix.

Someone from 🇹🇻 has shared:

Made a lot of mistakes in my life, but adding more cheese than a recipe calls for isn’t one of them.

Social Media Log 💫

Trending via LinkedIn:

Look, the problem with The Life of a Showgirl is that, for maybe the first time in her music career, Taylor Swift has nothing to say.

Spotted on Pinterest:

Well, that’s not very in love with me of you.

Going viral on YouTube:

You spend so long trying to think of a name for your cat only to end up calling them “for god’s sake” and “please stop”.

Making waves on Reddit:

I am “any text received after 9pm will be answered at 6am” years old.

Freshly posted on Threads:

Excuse me, can you direct me to the nonsense?

Shared recently on Instagram:

Once you understand why pizza is made round, packed in square boxes, and eaten as a triangle, then you will understand women.

Spotted on Slack:

Sometimes I wonder what happened to the people who asked me for directions.

Going viral on TikTok:

$20k in my bank account. – The k is silent.

Trending via Telegram:

Everyone knows that Christmas is the celebration of the immaculate conception of Mariah Carey.

Just landed via Instagram:

To be fair, a dumpster is like one of the safest places to have a fire.

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