Wordgag ツ

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇭🇳 has bookmarked:

Thank you for your password, now we are going to text you another password, then put that one in. Click ‘remember this computer’ so we can forget it.

Someone from 🇦🇩 has bookmarked:

Once I see a vein on your forehead while we arguing, I’ll let you be.

Someone from 🇬🇷 has bookmarked:

We are all just prisoners here of our phone device.

Someone from 🇲🇰 has shared:

Please solve a murder to prove you’re not a bot.

Someone from 🇹🇱 has bookmarked:

“Autophagy” would be a beautiful name for a girl.

Someone from 🇨🇳 has viewed:

Post-standing clarity is like, damn, I could have been sitting this whole time.

Someone from 🇪🇨 has downloaded:

Every time I turn around, it’s Monday.

Someone from 🇰🇭 has downloaded:

Never going into a job interview nervous again, because, wow, it is literally a free invitation to talk about how amazing I am.

Someone from 🇧🇯 has viewed:

Who needs a dominatrix when you can be beaten up by an automatically retracting vacuum cleaner cable?

Someone from 🇫🇮 has viewed:

If you’re tired of “food” and want to try something a bit more sophisticated, may I recommend “cuisine”?

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

calculating…

Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Updated

Feb 3, 2026

Users Online

3,509

Social Media Log 💫

Shared recently on WeChat:

Everything feels like thinking the stripper actually likes you.

Trending via WeChat:

I assume people who bookmark my posts are building a case against me.

Just shared via Messenger:

That odd feeling when your lunch break is over and you still have to work for another 30 years.

Seen just now on LinkedIn:

The dead bodies on Mt. Everest remind me that it’s perfectly fine to stay home and be lazy.

Shared recently on YouTube:

I’ll never be badass enough to walk around chewing on a toothpick.

Trending via Telegram:

No, don’t worry about him, babe. That’s just my soulmate.

Spreading quickly via Threads:

Nike: Just Do It! Me: I don’t want to.

Seen just now on YouTube:

When I’m not posting or returning messages, just know that I’m probably out doing superhero shit.

Just landed via WeChat:

Wow, another wooden ball. Would it kill avocado makers to put a different toy in there?

Trending via YouTube:

My fridge has brought more light into my life than most people.

Funny red light quotes

Funny red light quotes 🚦 are the perfect way to turn those frustrating stop moments into laughter-filled breaks! Whether you’re stuck in traffic or just waiting to go, these witty lines add a splash of humor to the everyday pause. Get ready to smile 😄, chuckle 😂, and maybe even share a giggle with fellow drivers. Because who says stopping at red lights can’t be fun? 🚗💨

New funny red light quotes 👇

All funny red light quotes & images can be used for free for non-commercial purposes 👌

Random Funny Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

58 shares on Facebook this month:

The world is in chaos, confess to your crush!

59 shares on Messenger this month:

Who called it a shopaholic and not a boughtanist?

96 shares on YouTube this month:

I don’t know who needs to hear this, but if you talk on speakerphone in public, everyone around you hates you.

24 shares on Slack this month:

There should be a website where you post your wishes, and rich people who don’t know what to do with their money give you an anonymous gift.

18 shares on Slack this month:

If biscuits were slimming and contained every nutrient the human body needs, I’d be in terrific shape.

18 shares on WhatsApp this month:

I don’t want to alarm anyone, but there’s only 365 shopping days left until Christmas.

93 shares on Instagram this month:

I like when games that have no need for a jump button have a jump button.

39 shares on Discord this month:

This book ain’t got no pictures.

28 shares on Reddit this month:

Some people find it strange when you talk to your pet. I find conversations with some people much stranger.

48 shares on Pinterest this month:

Sorry, I can’t talk right now. The seam of my sock feels weird.

Trending Topics 📁

activity communication day food frustration fun humor i irony joke just know life love me media people procrastination relationship sarcasm social social media someone technology time want work

Hot Jokes 💥

23 folks are currently checking 👀

I love when people say, “It is what it is,” like they just discovered stoicism.

23 folks are currently checking 👀

Isn’t your email address beautifulgirl@mydreams.com?

8 folks are currently checking 👀

You’re still ragebaiting? Everyone is on vagueposting now. Keep up.

23 folks are currently checking 👀

Don’t worry. Artificial intelligence will never replace actual ignorance.

19 folks are currently checking 👀

The lioness does not concern herself with the pile of clothes she moves between bed and chair every day.

18 folks are currently checking 👀

Don’t suffer in silence. Make it everyone’s problem.

5 folks are currently checking 👀

I’m getting targeted ads about chin fat and I’m offended by the relevance.

6 folks are currently checking 👀

According to my chocolate advent calendar, tomorrow is Christmas.

16 folks are currently checking 👀

If you’re riding in my car, that little middle piece is for my elbow — not yours.

20 folks are currently checking 👀

Cholesterol has a special place in my heart.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

calculating…

Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Updated

Feb 3, 2026

Users Online

3,769

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇲🇹 has viewed:

White, black, yellow, brown, Democrat, Republican, man, woman, straight, gay, transgender, Jew, Christian, Muslim, young and old — you will all taste the same to the zombies.

Someone from 🇲🇪 has downloaded:

So excited to go to bed and have the worst sleep of my life, and wake up exhausted and aching.

Someone from 🇸🇾 has copied:

Stop blaming yourself for your failures. Learn astrology and blame the planets.

Someone from 🇨🇬 has bookmarked:

Called in, “I’m a time traveler. I came in today yesterday.”

Someone from 🇻🇪 has shared:

I was born tired, and I will die tired. If I ever tell you I’m not tired, I’m probably lying.

Someone from 🇵🇰 has bookmarked:

I like to listen to the national anthems during the award ceremonies. I’m into country music.

Someone from 🇷🇼 has viewed:

Who you are before you have your coffee is the real you.

Someone from 🇰🇲 has copied:

You gotta ask people nowadays, are you single single, mad at your partner single, blocked single or single just in your head.

Someone from 🇩🇯 has viewed:

I’m so grateful when people tell me to drive safe, cause then I remember not to drive off that cliff.

Someone from 🇪🇸 has shared:

“I asked Grok.” “I asked ChatGPT.” Well, I asked R2D2, and he said you’re a loser.

Social Media Log 💫

Shared recently on Reddit:

Hello 911? Yes, my wife is forcing me to walk over to meet the neighbors.

Trending via Messenger:

Those 8 hours at work go by quickly when you call off.

Shared recently on Slack:

Photos are cool because they are like now but for later.

Shared recently on Twitch:

When did making sense stop making sense?

Trending via Snapchat:

Doing some skin care routine but my skin doesn’t care.

Spotted on TikTok:

The more nicknames I have for you, the more I like you.

Making waves on YouTube:

I don’t know the difference between “gray” & “grey” and I’m too scared to even ask.

Going viral on Instagram:

This is a horrible time in history to be a decent human being.

Spotted on WhatsApp:

I’m going to die from jealousy one day.

Trending via Slack:

The actors you see in movies are probably home by now.

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