76 Funny self quotes

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  2 days ago

  View →: I’m not totally useless. I can be used as a bad example.
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  2 weeks ago

  View →: I don’t have red flags, I have fun facts.
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  3 weeks ago

  View →: If you can’t look back at your younger self and realize that you were an idiot, you are probably still an idiot.
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  3 weeks ago

  View →: I did some soul searching last night. I’m happy to report I still have one.
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  4 weeks ago

  View →: You’re way hotter in your forties and fifties than in your twenties. The glow up is in the grow up.
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  1 month ago

  View →: She is so narcissistic that her narcissism has narcissism.
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  1 month ago

  View →: Every girl has a dude in her inbox talking to himself.
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  1 month ago

  View →: Feeling guilty for taking up the entire therapy session talking about myself.
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  2 months ago

  View →: I need to start hiding my money from myself.
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  2 months ago

  View →: Twitter is like talking to yourself in public and some random dude walking by agrees with you.
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  2 months ago

  View →: “It’s all in your head!” Correct! Unfortunately, I am also in there.
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  2 months ago

  View →: Sometimes I get really mad at myself, but not like mad enough to fight myself or anything like that.
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  3 months ago

  View →: The only things that are really cool in my company are my salary and me.
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  3 months ago

  View →: Shoutout to myself for ruining my own life.
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  3 months ago

  View →: Doing some skin care routine but my skin doesn’t care.
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  3 months ago

  View →: Why can’t the house clean itself? It seems to get dirty by itself.
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  3 months ago

  View →: I’m not saving daylight. I’m the one that needs saving.
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  4 months ago

  View →: Your twenties are for destroying and betraying yourself for nothing.
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  4 months ago

  View →: Showers are the best places to lose arguments with yourself.
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  4 months ago

  View →: Sometimes it’s the conversations you have with yourself that take the longest.
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  4 months ago

  View →: If I met someone like me, I’d be really concerned for them.
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  4 months ago

  View →: Why socialize when you could party inside your room with your 10+ personalities?
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  4 months ago

  View →: It’s okay to embarrass yourself a little in the pursuit of human connection.
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  4 months ago

  View →: Unfortunately, I am not nonchalant, I will set myself on fire.
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  4 months ago

  View →: I need a break from me.
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  4 months ago

  View →: Apparently, staying to yourself and not bothering people bothers people.
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  4 months ago

  View →: Who needs therapy when you can gaslight yourself into thinking that everything is fine?
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  4 months ago

  View →: Yes, I do talk to myself, everyone else just wants to argue with me.
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  4 months ago

  View →: Insulting me won’t work. I already said that to myself earlier.
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  4 months ago

  View →: Whoever said “team work makes the dream work” needs to explain that to my many personalities.

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