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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇦🇺 has viewed:

The theory that two stacked beds can’t be converted into two regular beds has been debunked.

Someone from 🇬🇶 has copied:

My robot vacuum and I are cut from the same cloth. When we see a line of dirt on the kitchen floor, we just spin around and go the other way.

Someone from 🇪🇸 has downloaded:

I can’t sleep good when I know the food is feeling cold in the fridge.

Someone from 🇨🇷 has copied:

I deserve a dragon after all I’ve been through.

Someone from 🇷🇼 has copied:

I feel like smashing my phone would be cathartic.

Someone from 🇶🇦 has bookmarked:

Me: “I should treat myself to something.” My bank account: “Dream on.”

Someone from 🇬🇶 has copied:

If I ever go missing, please print my picture on wine bottles and not on milk boxes. My friends are more likely to find me then.

Someone from 🇮🇷 has bookmarked:

Can I be speaker? I’m pretty good at saying a lot without saying anything at all.

Someone from 🇮🇪 has shared:

A peaceful transition of power happening between me and this red wine just now.

Someone from 🇾🇪 has bookmarked:

I miss the way I viewed the world before I found out too much about it.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

105 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,374

Funny Quotes Topics

17,485

Funny Quotes Images

15,374

Jan 2, 2026

3,397

Social Media Log 💫

Just landed via Facebook:

30s: Oh look, a dance floor! 50s: Oh look, a couch!

Freshly posted on WhatsApp:

If you think someone has put a spell on you, send me $500 and I’ll get rid of it.

Just shared via X:

My favorite part about standing in line is watching the other lines move more quickly.

Just shared via WhatsApp:

“And on the 7th day he rested”. Obviously God had not yet created laundry at that point.

Making waves on YouTube:

I often choose gift bags instead of wrapping, not just out of laziness, but also because I have the fine motor skills of a drunken panda.

Trending via Telegram:

Gonna finish eating all these Christmas cookies so I’m no longer tempted to eat them.

Just landed via LinkedIn:

The next time someone texts me “we need to talk,” I’ll reply, “Yes, we really need to talk,” so that I won’t be the only one stressing.

Shared recently on TikTok:

They should name a personality disorder after me.

Trending via Threads:

Netflix had enough cash to buy Warner Bros., but cried poor when we shared passwords with our mom.

Making waves on Pinterest:

I don’t understand people who say “I don’t know how to thank you.” Like they never heard of money.

Funny self-hate quotes

Funny self-hate quotes bring a hilarious twist to those moments when we’re a little too hard on ourselves 😂💔. They turn self-doubt into comedy gold, making it easier to laugh at our quirks and imperfections 🤪✨. Perfect for anyone who loves a good roast—especially when it’s coming from within! Ready to embrace the funny side of self-sabotage? Let’s dive in and laugh it off together! 🎉🤣

New funny self-hate quotes 👇

Imagine hating me, and I’m just over here hating myself more.

0

2 months ago

hate, here, humor, imagine, just, me, myself, over, sarcasm, self-deprecation, self-hate
Imagine hating on me and I’m just in my room also hating on me.

0

2 months ago

humor, imagine, introspection, irony, just, me, negativity, room, self-hate, self-reflection, solitude
Imagine hating me and i’m just over here doing a much better job at hating myself than any of y’all could do.

0

2 months ago

better, confidence, doing, hate, here, humor, imagine, irony, job, just, me, much, myself, over, sarcasm, self-hate, self-improvement
Imagine hating me and I’m just over here hating myself.

0

2 months ago

hate, here, humor, imagine, irony, just, me, myself, over, perspective, relationships, self-deprecation, self-hate
Stop hating yourself for everything. Be specific.

0

2 months ago

everything, humor, positivity, self-acceptance, self-hate, self-improvement, specific, specificity, stop, yourself

All funny self-hate quotes & images can be used for free for non-commercial purposes 👌

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Social Media Stars ⭐

40 shares on Twitch this month:

Anyone who thinks things have got so bad that they can only get better is showing a remarkable lack of imagination.

92 shares on Discord this month:

Why have abs when you can have kebabs?

86 shares on WeChat this month:

I’m at a point in life where I’m just at a point.

27 shares on X this month:

Our house is so messy that if we ever disappeared, the police would have no idea if there were “signs of a struggle”.

18 shares on TikTok this month:

My eye doctor is alarmingly young and when he said he thought I had a chalazion or a hordoleum, I thought he might be referencing Pokémon.

73 shares on Reddit this month:

Babe, you’re not acting according to my delusions right now.

30 shares on Pinterest this month:

Arab perfumes have zero chill… the entire street knows you’ve arrived.

12 shares on TikTok this month:

I wish Amazon would stop finding things I might like.

38 shares on Twitch this month:

My first mistake of my life was my birth.

36 shares on Threads this month:

Maybe if we paid our streaming services even more, they could stop jacking up the volume on the commercials they make us watch, even though we are paying for the service.

Trending Topics 📁

Hot Jokes 💥

23 folks are currently checking 👀

Sorry for being so cringey and awkward. It will definitely happen again.

16 folks are currently checking 👀

Whenever I’m not eating a breakfast sandwich I wish I was eating a breakfast sandwich.

22 folks are currently checking 👀

The only thing keeping me from world domination is a good nap.

10 folks are currently checking 👀

We could all be hibernating right now but noooooo we have to be “adults” with “responsibilities”.

17 folks are currently checking 👀

Watching Jaws with my kid because I’m sick of going to the beach.

15 folks are currently checking 👀

When exactly does wisdom kick in? I feel like I’m just getting older.

22 folks are currently checking 👀

You ever liked a song so much you restart it before it even finishes?

6 folks are currently checking 👀

Why are conclusions necessary in essays? Were you not following?

14 folks are currently checking 👀

Don’t cry because it’s over. Cry because you have an extra hour to think about it.

15 folks are currently checking 👀

You have never experienced true fear until a poster falls off the wall in the middle of the night.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

105 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,374

Funny Quotes Topics

17,485

Funny Quotes Images

15,374

Updated

Jan 2, 2026

Users Online

3,629

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇳🇮 has copied:

It’s scary when an attractive person is attracted to you, omg.

Someone from 🇸🇨 has downloaded:

I hope Google never goes down. I know like six, maybe seven, things.

Someone from 🇺🇬 has bookmarked:

You’d think the heat and humidity would steam some of the wrinkles out of my body.

Someone from 🇧🇬 has viewed:

Too self-aware for foreplay. I’m so sorry… Take that nurse costume off. I know you didn’t go to med school.

Someone from 🇱🇮 has copied:

Maybe somewhere in a parallel universe, I wake up feeling refreshed and energetic each day.

Someone from 🇪🇨 has bookmarked:

Middle-aged math is going out drinking and feeling half your age then waking up the next morning feeling twice your age.

Someone from 🇬🇷 has copied:

If she says “it’s fine,” you’re probably in trouble.

Someone from 🇩🇿 has viewed:

My favorite voicemails are those where the person doesn’t leave one.

Someone from 🇺🇾 has copied:

Babies first steal your glasses and then bite your nose. I don’t know where they get their reputation.

Someone from 🇨🇩 has downloaded:

That gap in my resume is from when I was lost at sea.

Social Media Log 💫

Trending via Reddit:

I don’t need all of these heat advisory warnings on my phone. I’ve been outside. I have skin. I know.

Live now on Snapchat:

They say it is hard to look at lips that you are not allowed to kiss. You do not know how hard it is to look at a face that you are not allowed to hit.

Spotted on Pinterest:

Cheer up! Your biggest mistake is probably still ahead of you.

Seen just now on X:

Men be like, “I’m sexually attracted to you as a friend.

Broadcasted on Threads:

That little pocket on jeans is the perfect size for the money I have left over after I pay all my bills.

Trending via YouTube:

I hate it when what’s wrong asks me what’s wrong.

Seen just now on TikTok:

Need to win the lottery so I can focus on going to museums and working out.

Just landed via X:

If you buy something with a lifetime warranty and it breaks, the manufacturer will send a hitman to your house.

Trending via Instagram:

Deleting the paragraph you wrote and texting back “ok” is a different type of self-control.

Shared recently on Reddit:

Imagine being social on social media.

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