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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇧🇸 has bookmarked:

Good morning to everyone except the people who are missing the ability to read the room.

Someone from 🇨🇺 has bookmarked:

I love when someone texts “hey,” like I’m supposed to solve the rest.

Someone from 🇻🇨 has downloaded:

I am not living la vida loca. I am loca because of la vida.

Someone from 🇲🇷 has shared:

It’s okay to get rid of the boxes for the electronic things you’ve had for the past couple of years.

Someone from 🇩🇿 has bookmarked:

Before you have kids, ask yourself: how patient am I with really stupid people?

Someone from 🇧🇮 has downloaded:

It’s a myth that we only use 10% of our brain, but I definitely know people who use less than that.

Someone from 🇮🇸 has downloaded:

Whenever I lose my faith in justice, I look at the high school beauties from back then today. Then I’m fine again.

Someone from 🇦🇹 has copied:

Tried a smile yesterday and my white blood cells attacked it.

Someone from 🇭🇳 has shared:

You’ll be having a good day and then someone your age says they’re buying a house.

Someone from 🇳🇱 has downloaded:

Washing my hands in the sink and then wiping them on my cat, like a towel.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

0 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,269

Funny Quotes Topics

17,387

Funny Quotes Images

15,269

Updated

Dec 31, 2025

Users Online

3,288

Social Media Log 💫

Making waves on WeChat:

You ever met someone so dumb you gotta take a deep breath before responding to them?

Going viral on Messenger:

No Botox. I need to furrow my brow when people say dumb things.

Seen just now on Threads:

Hell, yes, I work out. Somebody has to support the ibuprofen industry.

Spotted on WhatsApp:

If they stole your post, they probably need it more than you do.

Just landed via Snapchat:

If anyone wants to watch the Super Bowl on a large 8k TV, come on over to my place (and bring a large 8k TV).

Breaking via Threads:

A single garbageman contributes more to society before lunch than every crypto trader and op-ed writer combined does in their lifetime.

Trending via Snapchat:

The perfect number of cats is two stupid cats. Preferably siblings. But they can’t both be the same type of stupid. One needs to be stupid (dumb) and one needs to be stupid (annoying).

Trending via Pinterest:

Sorry for what I said when I was drunk. I meant every word.

Spotted on LinkedIn:

Why do birds love going apeshit first thing in the morning?

Spreading quickly via WeChat:

Meow means woof in cat.

Funny serving size quotes

Funny serving size quotes 🍕🍰 bring a hilarious twist to how we measure our favorite treats! Whether you’re eyeing that extra slice or sneaking a second helping, these witty sayings make portion control way more entertaining 😄🍽️. Get ready to laugh while rethinking your snack habits—because sometimes, the best serving size is just a good joke away! 😂🥳

New funny serving size quotes 👇

All funny serving size quotes & images can be used for free for non-commercial purposes 👌

New Funny Quotes
🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

🎉🥂 New Year Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

29 shares on Reddit this month:

I told my computer I needed a break, now it sends me reminders to stretch while I’m lying on the couch.

38 shares on Facebook this month:

The incontinent optimist sees the bladder as half empty.

22 shares on LinkedIn this month:

I think it broke my boyfriend’s heart when I said he couldn’t have Salma Hayek for Valentine’s Day.

14 shares on YouTube this month:

Want to know what someone is really like? Play Monopoly with them.

40 shares on YouTube this month:

Remember when the most annoying thing about Twitter was trying to think of a shorter word.

38 shares on Twitch this month:

If at first you don’t succeed then skydiving definitely isn’t for you.

99 shares on Threads this month:

Whoever allowed me to become an adult needs to be fired.

94 shares on Pinterest this month:

How long do you actually have to wear a muscle shirt until you get muscles?

44 shares on Snapchat this month:

Just saw a piece of jewelry made in the 80s described as “vintage,” so I’ll be laying down the rest of the day.

98 shares on Facebook this month:

If you respond, “A reason for living,” when a store employee asks if they can help you find something, they will leave you alone.

Trending Topics 📁

activity communication day food frustration fun humor i irony joke just know life love me media people procrastination relationship sarcasm social social media someone technology time want work

Hot Jokes 💥

15 folks are currently checking 👀

Weekends are a scam, you spend one day exhausted and the other day anxious. Like, what the hell was that?

15 folks are currently checking 👀

Can’t believe we stayed up and screamed “Happy New Year” for this shit.

6 folks are currently checking 👀

I am writing a book about reverse psychology. Please don’t buy it.

16 folks are currently checking 👀

My life changed when I learned some house spiders can’t survive outside, so now I just catch them and release them in a friend’s home.

5 folks are currently checking 👀

Drinking coffee because hitting people over the head with a shovel is frowned upon.

24 folks are currently checking 👀

Ah coffee. The sweet balm by which we shall accomplish today’s tasks.

23 folks are currently checking 👀

I once quit a job, and when my boss asked why, I simply said, “I hate it here.” Best day of my life.

6 folks are currently checking 👀

When I hear the word “horror”, the first thing I think of is bills, not Halloween.

19 folks are currently checking 👀

Me, on New Year’s Eve: I think instead of kissing at midnight, I’m just going to go outside and scream.

25 folks are currently checking 👀

The words I can’t wait to hear someday, “I’m sorry, Mom, you were right about everything.”

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

0 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,269

Funny Quotes Topics

17,387

Funny Quotes Images

15,269

Updated

Dec 31, 2025

Users Online

3,578

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇹🇭 has bookmarked:

Umbrellas are great if you only want to get wet sideways.

Someone from 🇦🇲 has downloaded:

Never trust someone who can eat 24/7 but is still skinny.

Someone from 🇧🇬 has viewed:

The only narcissist I allow in my life is my cat.

Someone from 🇮🇸 has copied:

Accept who you are. Unless you’re a serial killer.

Someone from 🇾🇪 has shared:

Some of you are out here driving like your turn signal’s free trial ended and you’re all out of blinks.

Someone from 🇫🇲 has viewed:

Jehovah’s Witnesses tell the worst knock knock jokes.

Someone from 🇾🇪 has shared:

I miss being able to study with complete focus for hours. Now I read one sentence and check my phone to see if penguins have legs or just feet.

Someone from 🇬🇳 has viewed:

Your in his DMs, I’m on Etsy paying a witch to put a spell on him.

Someone from 🇷🇼 has copied:

He doesn’t realize it yet, but this Saturday, I’ll be asking him to untangle 400 feet of Christmas lights.

Someone from 🇺🇿 has copied:

I told you so. Kind regards, your gut feeling.

Social Media Log 💫

Seen just now on WhatsApp:

You come from dust and you will return to dust. That’s why I don’t dust. It could be someone I know.

Shared recently on Slack:

There are two types of people: Those who steal food off your plate and those who you keep in your life.

Trending via Instagram:

Absolutely love wanting to do a lot of things and ending up not doing even one! Yay.

Going bananas on Telegram:

Accidentally punched myself in the face as I was getting dressed this morning, and I have to say, I deserved it.

Going viral on Telegram:

Are we all getting a front-row seat to the end times, or what?

Live now on Discord:

Using a remote to type on a keyboard on the TV is truly one of the worst human experiences that we endure.

Spotted on Facebook:

No time like now to start “flossing regularly” before tomorrow’s dental appointment.

Spotted on Pinterest:

Aliens are gonna be super confused when they show up threatening to overthrow our leaders and we’re all stoked and offer to help.

Making waves on LinkedIn:

Be the nonsense you wish to see in the world.

Just shared via Snapchat:

Terrible things can happen if you go camping. For starters, you could want to go camping again.

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