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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇯🇲 has bookmarked:

Not to brag but I always pick the slowest moving checkout line at the grocery store.

Someone from 🇧🇩 has bookmarked:

I used to think adulthood was one crisis after another. I was wrong. Multiple crises. Concurrently. All at once. All the time. Forever.

Someone from 🇩🇲 has viewed:

My boss was like, “People working from home are just pretending to work,” and it’s like, dude, what do you think I’m doing in the office?

Someone from 🇮🇹 has downloaded:

I am MTV, still played music videos, years old.

Someone from 🇬🇲 has bookmarked:

My housemates are convinced our house is haunted. I’ve lived here for 274 years and not noticed anything strange.

Someone from 🇬🇼 has bookmarked:

I know stretching every day will help me, but I don’t want to do it.

Someone from 🇧🇫 has downloaded:

People keep wishing January was over like the worst month of the year isn’t coming up next. Thats like wishing someone would stop arguing with you and just punch you in the face.

Someone from 🇧🇿 has bookmarked:

That awkward moment when someone keeps watching you while you are eating.

Someone from 🇵🇬 has downloaded:

Imagine hating me and i’m just over here doing a much better job at hating myself than any of y’all could do.

Someone from 🇹🇯 has copied:

Do you all introverts ever open a text and think, ‘I’ll reply when I have the energy,’ and then it’s three weeks, and you have to live with the guilt of being a horrible friend.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

217 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,486

Funny Quotes Topics

17,559

Funny Quotes Images

15,486

Jan 5, 2026

3,527

Social Media Log 💫

Broadcasted on Twitch:

Some days you just feel like a hotel microwave. You’re here, but you don’t have enough power to actually do anything.

Spreading quickly via Facebook:

Sometimes I just want someone to hug me and say “I know it’s hard, but you’ll be okay. Here’s a coffee and a million dollars.”

Seen just now on Snapchat:

I take issue with furniture that deliberately moves 1 inch when you’re in a rush to get by.

Spreading quickly via Telegram:

Dear life, when I said “can this day get any worse” it was a rhetorical question, not a challenge.

Live now on LinkedIn:

Being in your 20s is crazy because, why did you stay with someone you were that incompatible with for that long?

Shared recently on Telegram:

Hello darkness, my old friend. Why are you here? It’s 6:00 pm.

Freshly posted on Messenger:

Having long hair as a guy is so scary because some days I look like the charming lead of a classic film from the 80s, and other days I look like a Discord mod that runs his Magic: The Gathering group like the Navy.

Seen just now on Facebook:

Oh no, a login from a new device? And that device is my phone? The one that I use every single day? And the location is my house, you say? Thank you so much for warning me. I will contact Interpol.

Trending via TikTok:

The more I use social media, the more I see why children shouldn’t.

Freshly posted on Messenger:

Relationships are actually easy when you’re not dating a lying weirdo.

12 Funny signals quotes

Funny signals quotes 🚦😂 are the perfect way to decode life’s little mishaps with a smile! Whether it’s awkward texts, mixed messages, or those “wait, what?” moments, these witty lines turn confusion into comedy. Ready to laugh at the chaos of communication? Let’s dive into some hilarious takes that’ll have you nodding and chuckling all at once! 📱🤣✨

New funny signals quotes 👇

Male barista called me “my love” yesterday and didn’t say it today… getting mixed signals and feeling really upset.

0

3 weeks ago

barista, called, coffee, coffee shop, feeling, getting, humor, interaction, love, male, me, mixed, mixed signal, nickname, say, shop, signal, signals, today, upset, yesterday
Mixed signals mean they don’t like you like that. It’s that simple.

0

2 months ago

communication, dating, dislike, love, mean, mixed, mixed signal, rejection, relationship, signal, signals, simple
Some of you are out here driving like your turn signal’s free trial ended and you’re all out of blinks.

0

2 months ago

blinks, driving, free, free trial, here, humor, road, road safety, safety, signal, signals, traffic, trial, turn, turn signal
Hey girl, do you like my signals? I mixed them myself.

0

2 months ago

flirtation, girl, humor, i, line, mixed, myself, pick-up, pick-up line, signals
Good luck sending me mixed signals. Most the time I can’t even understand the direct ones.

0

2 months ago

communication, confusion, direct, direct signals, good, humor, i, luck, me, mixed, mixed signals, relationships, sarcasm, signals, time, understanding
Please don’t send me mixed signals, I don’t even understand the clear ones.

0

2 months ago

clear, clear signals, communication, confusion, dating, even, humor, i, me, misunderstanding, mixed, mixed signals, please, relationships, send, signals, understand
I thought my mixed signals were perfectly clear.

0

2 months ago

clarity, clear, communication, expectations, humor, i, misunderstanding, mixed, mixed signal, perfectly, relationship, signal, signals, thought
Mr. Mixed Signals decided he likes me today.

0

2 months ago

confusion, dating, humor, likes, me, mixed, mixed signals, relationship, signals, today
Welcome to downtown where the crosswalk signals are merely suggestions and you hope the puddles are water.

0

2 months ago

city, city life, crosswalk, downtown, hope, humor, life, puddle, sarcasm, signals, suggestions, water, welcome, where
I may not understand women, but cheeseburgers have never sent me mixed signals, and for that they’ll always have my heart.

0

2 months ago

always, cheeseburger, food, heart, humor, i, love, me, mixed, mixed signals, relationship, signals, understand, women

For even more funny signals quotes, hit next 👇

All funny signals quotes & images can be used for free for non-commercial purposes 👌

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Social Media Stars ⭐

33 shares on Telegram this month:

It’s crazy that you don’t really argue with a baby for the first year of its life and then you have to argue with the baby every day.

10 shares on Telegram this month:

Managed to empty the vegetable drawer of the fridge before something there takes on a life of its own.

74 shares on X this month:

To quote Hamlet Act III, Scene III, Line 92 “No.”

97 shares on TikTok this month:

Be nice to your children’s teachers. Especially elementary ones, cause kids have loose lips and that teacher has all the dirt on you.

41 shares on LinkedIn this month:

Mentally, I’m in a forest screaming. Physically, I’m answering emails with a fake smile and clenched jaw.

100 shares on Twitch this month:

One day my kids will move out and discover the dishes don’t clean themselves and I feel for them. I really do.

47 shares on Discord this month:

I’m the person who requested weather reporters stand in the storms. I have no concept of wind or rain and love seeing needless suffering.

31 shares on Pinterest this month:

My unemployed neighbor with an unlimited firework budget would like to wish everyone a happy 9th of July.

54 shares on Telegram this month:

My daily routine. Morning: Feeling tired, cranky and lazy. Afternoon: I could go for a nap. Night: I can’t sleep.

31 shares on Telegram this month:

Starting my period on election day because I’m a true patriot who bleeds for this country.

Trending Topics 📁

Hot Jokes 💥

8 folks are currently checking 👀

Teens don’t know how good they have it with lyrics sites. We used to have to sing shit wrong for years until the truth destroyed us.

8 folks are currently checking 👀

Once when I was exercising, I realized that I was allergic to it. I was out of breath, sweating and my heart was racing.

8 folks are currently checking 👀

I think the most financially irresponsible thing I’ve done is get my kids to like sushi.

7 folks are currently checking 👀

Delightful if true: booby trap.

11 folks are currently checking 👀

Y’all aren’t taking beautiful women to jazz clubs anymore, and that’s the problem.

21 folks are currently checking 👀

Some people peak in high school. I peaked when I realized I never had to see them again.

18 folks are currently checking 👀

Going to McDonald’s to get the Grinch meal, then going to Burger King to get the Spongebob meal. Then disappearing into the forest for twenty years.

14 folks are currently checking 👀

Behold the majestic elephant in its natural habitat, the room.

13 folks are currently checking 👀

The quality of clothing at retail stores today is quite literally the quality that Halloween costumes used to be.

5 folks are currently checking 👀

“Don’t take this the wrong way!” Translation: Prepare for insult.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

217 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,486

Funny Quotes Topics

17,559

Funny Quotes Images

15,486

Updated

Jan 5, 2026

Users Online

3,664

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇲🇼 has viewed:

In my defense, they burned my grilled cheese sandwich.

Someone from 🇩🇲 has shared:

Friendly reminder to drink your water and mind your business this week.

Someone from 🇬🇾 has copied:

If we were both crows, I’d bring you shiny things.

Someone from 🇲🇲 has downloaded:

I took the road less traveled. Where am I?

Someone from 🇹🇬 has shared:

“I’m still young”, I tell myself, as my knees make popping noises while standing up.

Someone from 🇬🇼 has downloaded:

Have kids so you can fully appreciate how well your dog listens.

Someone from 🇳🇵 has shared:

In these difficult times, it’s important to remember that cheese exists.

Someone from 🇧🇷 has bookmarked:

I used to question authority, but now I question everything.

Someone from 🇵🇱 has copied:

What part of “I don’t want to spend any more money” don’t I understand?

Someone from 🇧🇦 has copied:

If you burned CDs for the car so your original copies wouldn’t get scratched, it’s time to schedule your colonoscopy.

Social Media Log 💫

Trending via Twitch:

Hey, you should start your own business and then mind it.

Breaking via Instagram:

Maybe we should put monkeys in charge for a while just to see how it goes.

Live now on Instagram:

Girls will be like “I have so much to do” then grab some snacks and start watching a 10 part docuseries on serial killers.

Seen just now on Instagram:

No president next term. America needs to be single for a while to focus on herself.

Spreading quickly via Reddit:

Some days you have breakfast for dinner and live life on your own terms.

Making waves on LinkedIn:

People say nothing is impossible, but I do nothing every day.

Going bananas on WhatsApp:

Pregnancy is crazy. You really come home with someone you don’t know, with no teeth.

Just shared via Messenger:

I haven’t cleaned my shower in so long, it’s becoming a terrarium. Absolutely gorgeous.

Making waves on Messenger:

I know I’m almost 40 because I had a few drinks last night and woke up this morning thinking: Oh no I bought so many socks online last night.

Seen just now on YouTube:

Driving behind a salt truck on a snowy day is a Midwest police escort.

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