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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇩🇲 has shared:

Being single: When you don’t have to wait for someone to watch the next Netflix episode.

Someone from 🇸🇮 has copied:

I don’t hate anyone in particular, I just hate everyone in general.

Someone from 🇦🇹 has viewed:

Not sure why I drink anymore. I get the same effect from standing up too fast.

Someone from 🇹🇻 has shared:

A frightening number of young people alive today don’t know about Knight Rider.

Someone from 🇵🇬 has viewed:

A gender-neutral equivalent of ‘sugar daddy’ is glucose guardian.

Someone from 🇱🇾 has copied:

I call my smoke detector Gordon Ramsay, because every time I cook it screams at me.

Someone from 🇵🇹 has shared:

I get it, funds… I, too, am insufficient.

Someone from 🇨🇩 has viewed:

I remember when a computer didn’t automatically connect to the internet, it used to make a screaming noise. We should have listened.

Someone from 🇼🇸 has copied:

I have money, then I don’t have money, it all happens so fast!

Someone from 🇬🇶 has bookmarked:

Remember when the FBI would threaten you at the beginning of every VHS tape? That was pretty cool.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

55 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,324

Funny Quotes Topics

17,443

Funny Quotes Images

15,324

Updated

Jan 2, 2026

Users Online

3,635

Social Media Log 💫

Seen just now on WeChat:

I don’t know why doctors only give stickers to kids? Like, hello, I was also brave today.

Just shared via X:

We all need to put the phone down, or it’s over for civilization.

Spreading quickly via Threads:

Please don’t tell me how bad your life was growing up; we had to manually roll up our cars’ windows.

Broadcasted on X:

I’ve finally found a book that speaks to me. I believe it’s called an “audiobook”.

Spreading quickly via Reddit:

“Can you explain the gap in your resume?” I went missing in a national park.

Going viral on X:

I’m not being smart, I’m just a skilled trained professional in pointing out the obvious.

Spotted on YouTube:

Thinking you’re too smart to be manipulated is exactly how you get manipulated.

Breaking via X:

Just rolled over for a cuddle.. forgot I’m single… fell off the bed.

Shared recently on X:

How do I un-know people?

Just shared via Twitch:

You should get a pension for having to go to school for so many years.

Funny soldier quotes

Funny soldier quotes bring a hilarious twist to military life 😂🎖️ From unexpected moments on base to the quirks of boot camp, these witty lines capture the lighter side of serving your country 🇺🇸💥 Ready to laugh and salute? Dive into the funniest takes on soldier life that prove even in uniform, humor marches on! 🪖🤣

New funny soldier quotes 👇

All funny soldier quotes & images can be used for free for non-commercial purposes 👌

New Funny Quotes
🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Social Media Stars ⭐

79 shares on Slack this month:

I like to play this fun game while I clean out the fridge called what is this, how long has it been in here and how do I kill it?

63 shares on Slack this month:

Balloons are so weird. “Happy birthday, here’s a plastic sack of my breath.”

100 shares on Threads this month:

The week between Christmas and New Year’s should be studied as it is clearly a wormhole, disturbing time and space.

26 shares on Slack this month:

I wanna date one of those guys who really loves their girlfriend.

26 shares on TikTok this month:

Anyone know which wine pairs well with societal collapse?

71 shares on Twitch this month:

If nothing lasts forever, will you be my nothing?

49 shares on Messenger this month:

Sometimes you just need to eat shredded cheese straight out of the bag.

76 shares on Slack this month:

What’s my net worth? Buddy, I don’t own a net.

54 shares on LinkedIn this month:

I believe it was Aristotle who once said “The fastest way to get your kids to stop screaming is to also start screaming.”

86 shares on Discord this month:

You’re old if you’re excited to learn how to play Mahjong.

Trending Topics 📁

activity communication day food frustration fun humor i irony joke just know life love me media people procrastination relationship sarcasm social social media someone technology time want work

Hot Jokes 💥

14 folks are currently checking 👀

You don’t know your own leg strength until you’re kicking the end of a hotel tucked bed sheet.

24 folks are currently checking 👀

Went to bed with wet hair and woke up looking like I might know a lot about astrophysics.

5 folks are currently checking 👀

I love how one day my body just decided “You know what you really need is some ear hair.”

23 folks are currently checking 👀

None of this is happening. It’s all in your phone.

21 folks are currently checking 👀

You haven’t experienced proper anger until you have a sister.

8 folks are currently checking 👀

How does spaghetti know that I’m wearing light-colored clothes?

18 folks are currently checking 👀

“I’m not concerned about Netflix buying Warner Brothers. None of this will matter once we evolve gills and start living underwater.”

17 folks are currently checking 👀

I was walking near a construction site today and heard the foreman yell, “You’re doing a good job!” I know that was meant for me.

21 folks are currently checking 👀

Unfortunately, I will continue to get sexier and funnier.

16 folks are currently checking 👀

Old people like to golf every day because they are so sick of everyone’s shit and just wanna repeatedly whack something.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

55 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,324

Funny Quotes Topics

17,443

Funny Quotes Images

15,324

Updated

Jan 2, 2026

Users Online

3,549

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇲🇨 has copied:

There’s no better feeling than coming home and immediately changing into your Adam Sandler fit.

Someone from 🇰🇬 has copied:

I can’t wait to retire so I can get up at 6 a.m. and go drive around really slow and make everybody late for work.

Someone from 🇧🇧 has downloaded:

Sometimes I want to sleep, but my brain decides to do a little tap dance through every mistake I’ve ever made, instead.

Someone from 🇸🇮 has shared:

The only recipes they have online are where I’m the one who’s supposed to buy all this stuff and then make it. That’s not what I’m looking for.

Someone from 🇸🇲 has downloaded:

I never make the same mistake twice. I make it three four times, you know, just to be sure!

Someone from 🇿🇼 has copied:

Nobody told me that when you get a husband the ears are sold separately.

Someone from 🇫🇷 has bookmarked:

Not today, Satan, but next week works.

Someone from 🇪🇹 has shared:

I just want what every middle-aged person wants: to remember what it was that I wanted.

Someone from 🇧🇭 has bookmarked:

Biggest flex is when your friend’s mom uses you as a good example.

Someone from 🇨🇦 has viewed:

Handing the bus driver a $50 bill and telling him “Just drive”.

Social Media Log 💫

Making waves on Twitch:

Sweet, but twisted. Does that make me a candy cane?

Going bananas on Twitch:

Babe, are you okay? You’ve barely touched the argument I baited you with.

Freshly posted on Messenger:

Waving at the end of every Zoom call like it’s the 1800s and a big steamship is leaving the harbor.

Trending via WhatsApp:

I be like, “Who’s praying on my downfall?” as if I don’t make self-destructive life decisions.

Trending via Messenger:

Life hack: give yourself 8 to 12 hours of alone time in the morning to mentally prepare for the day.

Spreading quickly via Reddit:

Are you bad wifi, cause im feeling no connection here.

Live now on X:

Waitress: “Do you have any questions about the menu?” Me: “What kind of font is this?

Going viral on LinkedIn:

The Sunday struggle is wanting to relax and wanting a clean house, but also not wanting to clean or move.

Seen just now on YouTube:

I don’t see why walking is healthy. Zombies walk constantly and they look awful.

Making waves on Twitch:

Making fun of bands that only play 3 chords when I don’t even know what a chord is.

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