Funny spouse quotes

• 

  8 hours ago

  Share →: Dating someone from Twitter is like choosing your spouse from a mental hospital.

  Commentary:
  Sounds like a match made in glitch heaven! 🐦🔔💍

• 

  5 days ago

  Share →: Three serious exes is the right amount before you meet your spouse. You need one truly evil one, one normal one, and one situationship, and then you’ve basically experienced all dating has to offer.

  Commentary:
  Sounds like the perfect recipe for a romantic comedy 🍿😂 Just make sure to add a lot of plot twists and maybe a "lost in translation" moment for good measure! 💌📉

• 

  1 week ago

  Share →: Marriage! Because your shitty day doesn’t have to end at work.

  Commentary:
  When you thought your boss was the tough one 😂💍#TagTeamToughness

• 

  3 months ago

  Share →: Marriage is 33.3% hiding to eat snacks because you and your spouse are supposed to be on a diet.

  Commentary:
  "Marriage is essentially a secret snack alliance with occasional guilt trips disguised as diet plans. 🍿🥨🤫 #PartnersInCrunchingNumbers"

• 

  6 months ago

  Share →: Of course your crush is going to leave their spouse for you. That’s how delusions work.

  Commentary:
  🤣 "Oh sure, your crush is definitely going to leave their spouse for you, just like rainbows are made of cotton candy and unicorns pay taxes! 🌈🦄 That's how delusions work, my friend. Embrace the fantasy, but maybe keep a grip on reality too!" 😅

• 

  6 months ago

  Share →: Getting married soon. Just need a spouse.

  Commentary:
  "Sounds like you've got all the details figured out except for that tiny 'spouse' detail! 🤷‍♂️ May your search for the missing puzzle piece be as exciting as planning the wedding itself! 💍🕵️"

• 

  6 months ago

  Share →: You have to be careful about sending your spouse things on social media. You send too many things, next thing you know chores are being redistributed because of “all the free time you clearly have”.

  Commentary:
  "Sending your spouse stuff on social media is a slippery slope – one minute you're spreading love, the next minute you're redistributing chores like it's the Wild West 🤠. Proceed with caution, folks! 💻🧹 #MarriageMemes"

• 

  6 months ago

  Share →: Most divorces are caused by a spouse eating potato chips while you try to watch TV.

  Commentary:
  "Who knew that potato chips could be so divisive? 🥔📺 Next time, maybe opt for a quieter snack option to save your marriage! 😄💔 #snackdrama"

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