12 Funny spouse quotes

• The best part about being married is having a permanent person to debrief with immediately after any social event.

  ---

  0

  1 week ago

  after, being, best, communication, debrief, event, having, marriage, married, person, relationship, social, social event, spouse

• Dating someone from Twitter is like choosing your spouse from a mental hospital.

  ---

  0

  2 months ago

  dating, hospital, humor, mental, mental hospital, relationship, someone, spouse, Twitter

• Three serious exes is the right amount before you meet your spouse. You need one truly evil one, one normal one, and one situationship, and then you’ve basically experienced all dating has to offer.

  ---

  0

  2 months ago

  amount, before, breakup, dating, evil, evil ex, ex, experience, humor, love, meet, need, normal, normal ex, offer, relationship, right, serious, situationship, spouse, three, truly

• Marriage! Because your shitty day doesn’t have to end at work.

  ---

  0

  2 months ago

  bad, bad day, day, end, humor, marriage, relationship, spouse, work

• Marriage is 33.3% hiding to eat snacks because you and your spouse are supposed to be on a diet.

  ---

  0

  2 months ago

  diet, eat, hiding, humor, marriage, relationship, snacks, spouse

• Of course your crush is going to leave their spouse for you. That’s how delusions work.

  ---

  0

  2 months ago

  course, crush, delusion, going, humor, leave, love, reality, relationship, spouse, work

• Getting married soon. Just need a spouse.

  ---

  0

  2 months ago

  commitment, engagement, getting, humor, just, love, marriage, married, need, relationship, soon, spouse, wedding

• You have to be careful about sending your spouse things on social media. You send too many things, next thing you know chores are being redistributed because of “all the free time you clearly have”.

  ---

  0

  2 months ago

  being, careful, chores, communication, free, free time, humor, know, media, next, relationship, responsibility, send, social, social media, spouse, thing, things, time, too

• Most divorces are caused by a spouse eating potato chips while you try to watch TV.

  ---

  0

  2 months ago

  annoyance, chip, chips, conflict, divorce, eating, humor, potato, potato chip, relationship, snack, spouse, try, TV, watch

• Marriage is just asking each other, “What do you want to do for dinner?” and then replying, “No, not that,” until death do us part.

  ---

  0

  5 months ago

  asking, communication, death, decision making, dinner, humor, just, love, marriage, question, relationship, reply, replying, spouse, us, want

All funny spouse quotes & images can be used for free for non-commercial purposes 👌