Wordgag ツ

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇱🇦 has bookmarked:

You think you’re your own worst critic? Just wait till you have kids.

Someone from 🇿🇼 has shared:

I am not responsible for what my face does when you talk.

Someone from 🇧🇸 has bookmarked:

I feel for my kids, who had to take in the groceries and put them away today. They may never recover from this traumatic experience.

Someone from 🇸🇮 has copied:

Anyone else brush their teeth in the shower so they can get a little sloppy with it, or is that just me?

Someone from 🇸🇴 has shared:

I bought a robot vacuum today. Named it “Dustbin Bieber”.

Someone from 🇱🇾 has copied:

Agriculture can’t possibly be a dying industry. Bot farms are booming.

Someone from 🇰🇷 has shared:

According to this box of macaroni and cheese, I am an entire family.

Someone from 🇨🇴 has viewed:

Are there cheat codes for parenting teenagers? This level is really hard.

Someone from 🇲🇻 has shared:

Can’t believe penguins have to publish all those books with their tiny hands.

Someone from 🇰🇼 has downloaded:

Sometimes I wish I had a speed bump between my brain and my mouth.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

calculating…

Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Updated

Feb 3, 2026

Users Online

3,558

Social Media Log 💫

Trending via Facebook:

I’m a private person except for when I’m publicly trauma dumping on social media.

Making waves on YouTube:

‘Tis the season to wrap objects in colorful paper with the fine motor skills of a T-Rex.

Going viral on Telegram:

Sex before marriage is a sin unless you do it doggy style, because all dogs go to heaven. Follow me for more biblical loopholes.

Live now on TikTok:

The only ‘survival horror’ game I play is called ‘getting up every day and leaving the house.

Trending via Reddit:

Paw Patrol is just annoying. Exactly how long do dogs live again on average?

Trending via Twitch:

The lion does not concern himself with Microsoft Teams.

Seen just now on Reddit:

I hope the coffee hits harder than reality does.

Breaking via Snapchat:

“What’s your blood type?” I don’t know, boiling!

Live now on Snapchat:

Guy on the day of the 1918 armistice, walking around the trench, clapping, saying things like “Great work, everyone,” and “We did it, team.”

Shared recently on WeChat:

God forbid a girl uses shopping as her coping mechanism.

Funny stabby quotes

Funny stabby quotes 🗡️😂 bring a cheeky twist to those moments when sarcasm meets sass! Perfect for expressing that playful edge without crossing the line, these witty one-liners slice through boredom and keep the vibe light yet sharp. Ready to add some spice 🔥 to your day? Dive into the world of humor that’s as sharp as a dagger but twice as fun!

New funny stabby quotes 👇

All funny stabby quotes & images can be used for free for non-commercial purposes 👌

Random Funny Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

90 shares on Discord this month:

I briefly stepped away from social media to get an idea of what else is going on in the world. For instance, I didn’t realize I was still married.

90 shares on Pinterest this month:

I don’t pay attention to the world ending. It has ended for me many times, and began again in the morning.

69 shares on Reddit this month:

Unfollowers, take me with you!

76 shares on LinkedIn this month:

Went fishing and actually caught a fish. So now I gotta deal with this shit.

82 shares on LinkedIn this month:

This alien invasion could have been an email.

85 shares on Instagram this month:

People that never want to leave the house unite! Separately at our own homes.

60 shares on X this month:

Some people call me crazy. I prefer the term happy with a twist.

84 shares on Facebook this month:

I totally get why Leonardo DiCaprio is trying to save the environment for future generations. They could be his girlfriend.

58 shares on TikTok this month:

Dog barking like an angry baby, baby crying like an angry dog.

89 shares on TikTok this month:

If someone asks why you’re so pale, simply reply, completely shocked, “You can see me?”

Trending Topics 📁

activity communication day food frustration fun humor i irony joke just know life love me media people procrastination relationship sarcasm social social media someone technology time want work

Hot Jokes 💥

15 folks are currently checking 👀

Work from home is all fun and games until you lose grip on reality.

19 folks are currently checking 👀

“What do your tattoos mean?” They mean I can sit still for a long time.

22 folks are currently checking 👀

I wonder if it’s possible to swim from one end to the other in a pool filled with mashed potatoes.

23 folks are currently checking 👀

I’ve never been kissed under the cameltoe or whatever it’s called.

21 folks are currently checking 👀

Insomnia is embarrassing. How can I be so bad at something that literally involves doing nothing?

22 folks are currently checking 👀

I need you to think about me 23/7. You get 1 hour a day for yourself.

13 folks are currently checking 👀

I’m about to start telling people, “As long as that makes sense to you,” when they say shit that doesn’t make sense to me.

23 folks are currently checking 👀

Life’s too short to remove the USB drive safely.

19 folks are currently checking 👀

Now I understand why old people sit outside just to sit outside.

11 folks are currently checking 👀

You know the trouble with real life? There’s no danger music.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

calculating…

Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Updated

Feb 3, 2026

Users Online

3,508

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇸🇲 has copied:

If Twitter has taught me anything, a lot of us aren’t ready for a spelling bee.

Someone from 🇦🇩 has copied:

Awake? You may be entitled to compensation.

Someone from 🇬🇭 has bookmarked:

I don’t think you all understand. If Taylor Swift didn’t have a private jet, she’d be Taylor Slow.

Someone from 🇱🇻 has copied:

It may sound crazy but some of us are nice without hidden agendas.

Someone from 🇮🇪 has shared:

Money talks, but all mine ever says is goodbye.

Someone from 🇬🇩 has viewed:

Ruin a perfectly nice trip out with your child by bringing your child.

Someone from 🇻🇺 has downloaded:

Some woman is out there right now, pregnant with Leonardo DiCaprio’s next girlfriend.

Someone from 🇿🇼 has downloaded:

Remember when you were a kid, you slept on the couch and without saying anything you found yourself in your bed. Now you sleep in your bed and if you say anything, you end up on the couch.

Someone from 🇩🇰 has bookmarked:

Nothing makes you regret an outfit choice faster than when you see teens looking at you and whispering.

Someone from 🇰🇳 has copied:

Gonna break into your house, toast all your bread and put it back in the bag.

Social Media Log 💫

Going viral on WhatsApp:

Never understood when the movie rating says “May contain nudity.” Are there people on the ratings board who aren’t sure if they just saw someone naked?

Just landed via YouTube:

I feel like a credit card, cause I’m constantly being used irresponsibly.

Broadcasted on Snapchat:

If I was a mythical creature, I’d be a Sighclops.

Breaking via Discord:

Starting your most incoherent sentence with “put simply” to deflect blame onto the reader.

Going viral on LinkedIn:

That moment when you finish watching a TV series and you don’t know what to do with your life any more.

Broadcasted on Discord:

Diplomacy is the art of sending someone to hell in such a way that they look forward to the journey.

Just shared via TikTok:

Headed to a wedding but my wife said I’m not allowed to refer to the bride as ‘the veiled threat.’

Just shared via WhatsApp:

They get real weird at the gun store if you walk in crying and asking for “the biggest one”.

Just landed via Instagram:

Asked a German woman why Germany produced so many legendary physicists / mathematicians, and her response was basically, “Have you considered educating people who aren’t rich?”

Trending via LinkedIn:

I’m so grateful when people tell me to drive safe, cause then I remember not to drive off that cliff.

© 2026. All rights reserved.

Made with ❤️ in Sydney ☀️🌴