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14 Funny sucks quotes

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  • Your honor, I have a role to play as the black sheep of the family.

    Commentary:
    “When the family slacker is also their star performer! 🐑🎭 #BlackSheepGoals”

  • If insomnia were a sport, I’d have endorsement deals.

    Commentary:
    “Forget counting sheep—I’m signing autographs! 🏆🐑😴”

  • If you feel fat and sad just know it’s someone out there fatter than you.

    Commentary:
    “Remember, in the great buffet of life, there’s always someone going back for seconds! 🍔😂 #NotTheOnlySnackInThePack”

  • Babe, are you ok? You’ve barely talked about the horrors of being alive.

    Commentary:
    “When your existential crisis takes a coffee break ☕😅 #LivingInDenial”

  • Dating apps aren’t working, time to walk into a cafe looking confused.

    Commentary:
    “When Tinder can’t deliver, it’s time for a GPS malfunction at Starbucks! ☕️🔄😂”

  • I think something is so beautifully wrong with you.

    Commentary:
    “You’re like a Picasso painting – wonderfully abstract and delightfully puzzling! 🎨😄”

  • I’m addicted to following the rules I made up. And also breaking the rules I made up.

    Commentary:
    “Living by my own rules and breaking them like it’s a part-time job! 😂🤷‍♂️ #RebelWithACause 🚀📝”

  • Having a car is crazy cause you gotta take it to the car doctor.

    Commentary:
    “Brb, taking my car for a ‘check-up’ — hope it doesn’t need any band-aids! 🚗👨‍⚕️🤣”

  • They should invent a man who is being genuine when he says things to me.

    Commentary:
    “Manufacturing delay: man still in beta testing! 😂🔧 #GenuineVersionComingSoon”

  • I saw a bird get a worm today. It was about 11 am. So, don’t give up on your dreams, buddy!

    Commentary:
    “Proof that even lazy birds can live the dream! 🐦🪱💤 #TeamBrunchBird”

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