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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇨🇴 has copied:

Here’s the problem with fruit: it’s inconsistent. Some apples are delicious, some taste bad. Sometimes blueberries are great, sometimes they are disgusting. You know what’s the same every time? Doritos.

Someone from 🇩🇲 has copied:

Breaking News: No matter how close you are with your colleagues, never discuss your personal matters at work. Neverrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr.

Someone from 🇲🇳 has bookmarked:

If robbers ever broke into my house and searched for money, I’d just laugh and search with them.

Someone from 🇹🇬 has copied:

Thank you, Facebook memories, for constantly reminding me of the shitty taste in men I had for the majority of my life.

Someone from 🇲🇱 has bookmarked:

I love diss tracks because it’s basically two dudes going, “grr, we hate each other so much we’re going to take turns writing increasingly personalized poetry!”

Someone from 🇪🇹 has bookmarked:

You don’t need a therapist, you need an exorcist.

Someone from 🇰🇲 has shared:

I’ve just learned terrible news. My department at work is planning a team-building retreat. Thank you for your thoughts during this difficult time.

Someone from 🇨🇴 has downloaded:

If I have to look at any more spreadsheets today, you’re gonna have to spread my ashes.

Someone from 🇲🇦 has downloaded:

I’m perfectly approachable as long as you’re carrying a plate of nachos.

Someone from 🇪🇷 has copied:

Not only is it not Friday, but it’s not even Thursday.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

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Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Updated

Feb 3, 2026

Users Online

3,620

Social Media Log 💫

Going bananas on Reddit:

Babe, are you OK? You’ve barely fulfilled the prophecy.

Spotted on Messenger:

Today’s kids don’t even get chicken pox anymore, they go straight to STDs.

Going viral on Threads:

Women love deciding to never talk to you again, and actually do it.

Freshly posted on TikTok:

I think I’m about six months away from the perfect ‘before’ picture.

Going viral on YouTube:

I was gonna kiss you under the blood moon eclipse, but whatever, bro.

Spotted on Messenger:

Messages are way funnier when you know how the person talks.

Trending via Slack:

I hate it when my pillow is not pillowing like it should. You have one job. Be a pillow man. You are pillow. Act like one!

Seen just now on Twitch:

This whole “having a job” thing is really getting in the way of me having my best life.

Freshly posted on LinkedIn:

Drinking a couple of beers and then getting onto Red Dead Redemption, and just petting my horse and feeding it apples.

Live now on YouTube:

Sometimes I’ll drink a ginger ale and eat a Biscoff cookie and sit up in kind of an unnatural position and pretend I’m on a Delta flight.

Funny sundry quotes

New funny sundry quotes 👇

Sundries sounds like something grandma would call scandalous underwear.

4 weeks ago

call, family, grandma, humor, perception, scandalous, sundry, underwear

All funny sundry quotes & images can be used for free for non-commercial purposes 👌

Random Funny Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

91 shares on Telegram this month:

People who leave the blinds closed the entire plane ride: who hurt you?

62 shares on Messenger this month:

Marriage is 33.3% hiding to eat snacks because you and your spouse are supposed to be on a diet.

70 shares on Messenger this month:

I probably think this song is about me.

46 shares on Messenger this month:

Spewing nonsense online is the most fun a depressed person is allowed to have in these twisted times.

26 shares on Reddit this month:

New email opener just dropped: “I am interested in bothering you!”

82 shares on Telegram this month:

I need to go to jail for a while to catch up on all my reading.

28 shares on Messenger this month:

You know you’re old when you you barely do anything all day, but still need a nap to continue doing barely anything.

79 shares on Instagram this month:

My least controversial opinion is that IKEA should have a bar. I think we were meant to consume three beers and then purchase a Gjörfbunkle.

22 shares on Threads this month:

It’s like 10,000 lies when all you need is the files.

25 shares on Reddit this month:

Being gracefully unhinged is the only way to get through the everyday bullshit.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇲🇿 has copied:

My husband sure has a lot of opinions on which movie he’s gonna sleep through.

Someone from 🇧🇬 has shared:

My childhood led me to believe that as an adult I’d have to contend with truth serum, lava, quicksand, trap doors, and secret passageways. So far it’s mostly been weight gain and existential dread.

Someone from 🇸🇳 has shared:

Fake laughing at work is mentally exhausting. Please just leave me alone.

Someone from 🇮🇹 has copied:

Why is it spelled “camouflage” and not “ “?

Someone from 🇦🇴 has shared:

Starting the second half of your sandwich is like “hell yeah, baby, let’s run it back!”

Someone from 🇦🇷 has copied:

Okay, I’ve proved I’m not a robot, now you prove you’re not a human.

Someone from 🇸🇦 has shared:

I see why history can repeat itself. People are really stupid.

Someone from 🇿🇦 has bookmarked:

What did parents do before smart phones, hold their babies with two hands or something?

Someone from 🇧🇦 has downloaded:

You don’t scare me, I was married once.

Someone from 🇱🇷 has downloaded:

Thanks for your email! Unfortunately, I have filled my pockets with stones and am making my way to the sea.

Social Media Log 💫

Making waves on TikTok:

The worst part about being drunk and seeing double is when you realize it’s just one slice of pizza.

Just landed via Messenger:

Sometimes I need a break from myself but it’s like, ugh, everywhere I go there I am.

Seen just now on Pinterest:

I may not be the smartest or most athletic man in the world. There’s no second part to this, keep scrolling.

Spreading quickly via Pinterest:

I have a question and my question is, how can I look so cute in the mirror but like such a baked potato in pictures?

Shared recently on Facebook:

The fact that I have more clothes to sleep in than I do to go out in says a lot about who I am as a person.

Seen just now on Instagram:

Last year I had no valentine, this year I also have no valentine. Consistency!

Going bananas on Threads:

Netflix subtitles be like “speaking foreign language”. Bro, translate it!

Just shared via Threads:

I once let a really short guy be the big spoon and it felt like I went to bed with a backpack on.

Going bananas on Discord:

Thank you for being friends with me. Baffling decision, but thank you.

Seen just now on Pinterest:

“What fresh hell is this?“ It’s actually the same hell as yesterday. Not fresh at all, really.

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Activity Log ✨

Funny sundry quotes

New funny sundry quotes 👇

Sundries sounds like something grandma would call scandalous underwear.

All funny sundry quotes & images can be used for free for non-commercial purposes 👌

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨