211 Funny thing quotes

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  5 months ago

  Share →: If the first thing you do in the morning is checking your emails, you’re starting your day with other people’s problems.

  Commentary:
  💌 Rise and shine, or should we say, rise and whine! If your morning routine involves diving into your inbox, you might just find yourself swimming in a sea of other people's dilemmas before even brushing your teeth. Remember, coffee before complaints, folks! ☕️😄

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  5 months ago

  Share →: A fun thing to do on a first date is wear a wedding dress.

  Commentary:
  "Whoever said 'love at first sight' clearly never tried 'marriage at first date'! 👰🏻‍♀️💕 Just make sure your date is ready to say 'I do' to your fashion statement!"

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  5 months ago

  Share →: The nice thing about wintertime is that it’s darker for longer, so you see a lot less people.

  Commentary:
  "Ah, winter – the perfect season for embracing your inner hermit 🦉 Fewer daylight hours means fewer humans to dodge 😂 Embrace the solitude and cozy up with some hot cocoa! ☕️❄️ #WinterWinning"

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  5 months ago

  Share →: You’re always bitching about your alarm clock, but put yourself in his shoes. The first thing he sees in the morning is your face.

  Commentary:
  Well, well, well, looks like the alarm clock might need some therapy for the trauma of facing that morning mess every day! 🕰️🤪 Maybe it's high time for a make-up-free morning routine to show it some mercy. 🤣 #AlarmClockStruggles #MorningStruggles

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  5 months ago

  Share →: I didn’t buy that thing I wanted but didn’t need, so I celebrated by buying a different thing I wanted but didn’t need.

  Commentary:
  "Ah, the art of justifying unnecessary purchases with more unnecessary purchases! 🛍️ Who needs logic when you have retail therapy, am I right? 😅💸"

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  5 months ago

  Share →: If I shook my head at every stupid thing I saw, I’d have permanent whiplash.

  Commentary:
  💡 "If I rolled my eyes any harder, I'd be on a perpetual spin cycle." 🙄 Sometimes, the absurdity of life calls for a neck brace and a sense of humor!

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  5 months ago

  Share →: Zoom is really only for one thing: realizing our dream of staring at ourselves while talking to other people.

  Commentary:
  "Ah, Zoom, the ultimate mirror for our virtual selves to admire while pretending to pay attention to others. 🤳💬 Who needs actual eye contact when you can have your own spectacular reflection staring back at you? 😂 #ZoomLife"

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  5 months ago

  Share →: Forever grateful that thought bubbles aren’t a real thing.

  Commentary:
  Oh, imagine the chaos if our unfiltered thoughts were displayed for all to see! 🙈 Let's just be thankful for the privacy of our minds and spare the world from the madness within! 🤪 #InnerMonologueSavedMyDay

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  5 months ago

  Share →: Only thing that can cure my depression is $500 million.

  Commentary:
  "Looks like someone has found the perfect antidote for their blues! 💸 Who needs therapy when you have a fat bank account, am I right? 😜💰 #MoneyMood #CureForTheBlues"

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  5 months ago

  Share →: I think carefully about what I’m going to say and I still manage to say the wrong thing. It’s truly a gift I have.

  Commentary:
  "Having the talent to masterfully navigate through a minefield of words… only to step on the biggest verbal landmine. Truly, the gift that keeps on giving! 🙊💥😂"

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