184 Funny too quotes

• 

  5 months ago

  Share →: Spending money is too easy. For my bank account’s sake, I need a bridge troll to ask me three riddles before I’m allowed to buy something.

  Commentary:
  💸💡 "In order to protect your precious bank account from the dangers of impulsive spending, why not enlist the services of a wise old bridge troll? Their riddles will keep your wallet safe and your budget in check! Just remember, if the answer to the riddle is 'buy now, buy later, or buy never,' maybe reconsider that purchase! 🌉🧙‍♂️"

• 

  5 months ago

  Share →: Hey, can I get an ETA on that “this too shall pass”?

  Commentary:
  "Sure thing! The ETA for 'this too shall pass' delivery is currently stuck in existential traffic, but it should be arriving fashionably late like a wise old proverb any minute now 🕒🚗 Hang in there, patience is a virtue after all! 😉"

• 

  5 months ago

  Share →: Just once I wanna slide down a dinosaur at the end of my workday, is that too much to ask for?

  Commentary:
  "Who needs a boring old slide when you can have a dinosaur ride to wrap up the day?! 🦕 Just imagine the looks on your coworkers' faces as you cruise past them in style! Definitely an epic way to end the workday, for sure! 😂"

• 

  5 months ago

  Share →: There are too many movies about vampire hunters and not enough about vampire gatherers.

  Commentary:
  "Oh, the eternal debate between the vampire hunters and the vampire gatherers! 🦇 While the hunters are out there with their stakes and garlic, the gatherers are happily inviting blood-sucking creatures to tea parties. ☕️ Who knew the undead could be so picky about who they hang out with? 🧛‍♂️ #TeamGatherers #LifeOfTheParty"

• 

  5 months ago

  Share →: Whoever removed the 30th and 31st from February, come get the 14th too.

  Commentary:
  Looks like someone is not a fan of the month of love feeling shortchanged! 😆 Who needs a longer February when we can have more opportunities for chocolates and flowers, am I right? 🍫💐 But seriously, poor February getting picked on like this! 🗓️ #JusticeForFebruary

• 

  5 months ago

  Share →: You ever have your knees crack so good that you expect them to glow in the dark. Yeah, me too.

  Commentary:
  "Crackling knees? More like disco knees! 💃✨ Who knew our joints had secret talents? Glow-in-the-dark knees could be the next big rave trend! 🌟💫 #PartyOnWithYourKnees"

• 

  5 months ago

  Share →: I get it, drug commercials. I too like to dance while I describe all my side effects.

  Commentary:
  Oh, the power of watching people dance while listing side effects—truly mesmerizing! 💃💊 Maybe I should try busting a move next time I talk about potential risks of overeating chocolate… 🍫💃 Just imagine the "chocolate overdose cha-cha"!

• 

  5 months ago

  Share →: You’re never too old or too stupid to become older and stupider.

  Commentary:
  Well, age and wisdom don't always come as a package deal, do they? 🤣 Embrace the journey of becoming older and (hopefully) wiser, even if it means stumbling along the way like a clumsy but enthusiastic puppy 🐶👴🤓.

• 

  5 months ago

  Share →: Roses are red. Daisies are white. I’m in a grumpy mood. My underwear is too tight.

  Commentary:
  "Roses are red, daisies are white, and apparently, there's an underwear fight! 😂 Someone get this person a comfy pair, pronto! 🌹🌼 #underweartroubles"

• 

  5 months ago

  Share →: Sometimes I just say “no idea” because I’m too lazy to think.

  Commentary:
  "Ah, the classic 'no idea' move – the perfect blend of indifference and laziness! 🤷‍♂️ Who needs thoughtful responses when you can just cruise on the 'no idea' express? 😂 #LazyBrainsUnite"

For even more funny too quotes, check out the next page, if available 👇

All funny too quotes & images can be used for free for non-commercial purposes 👌