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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇸🇿 has viewed:

The first person to ever throw up was probably like, “Ok, what the hell.”

Someone from 🇱🇻 has shared:

Can someone write me a note to get out of being a responsible adult?

Someone from 🇧🇫 has copied:

If boring was a brand, you’d be the ambassador.

Someone from 🇮🇱 has bookmarked:

Why fall in love when you can fall asleep?

Someone from 🇹🇴 has downloaded:

Need a book club for people who all just happened to read the same book but hated it and now need to vent.

Someone from 🇦🇪 has shared:

Thank you, Facebook memories, for constantly reminding me of the shitty taste in men I had for the majority of my life.

Someone from 🇹🇴 has downloaded:

Workplace Wrapped: you had 60k minutes of meetings this year that could’ve been an email.

Someone from 🇰🇪 has copied:

I’m seriously considering adoption. Who wants me?

Someone from 🇸🇦 has bookmarked:

My husband is looking for the remote control. I need everyone to stand up for a minute.

Someone from 🇦🇿 has bookmarked:

Lazy Rule: Can’t reach it, don’t need it.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

calculating…

Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Updated

Jan 31, 2026

Users Online

3,464

Social Media Log 💫

Freshly posted on Twitch:

If I say I love you, it’s just the apocalypse talking.

Freshly posted on Reddit:

Marriage tip: If your wife goes silent in the middle of an argument, you probably shouldn’t ask if you can go back to mowing the lawn.

Going bananas on Messenger:

We’ve had far more storms since we started naming them. We’re giving them the attention they crave. Just call it needy wind.

Live now on Facebook:

Finally it’s Friday and I can go out. I’m putting the garbage out and I’ll be right back.

Just shared via Telegram:

“Damn, you’re tight!” I whisper as I look at my monthly budget.

Freshly posted on LinkedIn:

I’m just saying, no dog has ever ghosted me.

Trending via Threads:

My life changed when I learned some house spiders can’t survive outside, so now I just catch them and release them in a friend’s home.

Trending via Snapchat:

The worst part of marriage is when you do something stupid, the best part of marriage is when your partner does something stupid.

Spotted on WhatsApp:

I hate everyone in front of me at this checkout line, everyone behind me is cool.

Going bananas on X:

Unfortunately, I’m gonna have to cancel my appointment at a sperm bank. I will just call them and say I can’t come.

Funny vision test quotes

Funny vision test quotes 👓😄 add a splash of humor to those blurry letters and squinty moments! Whether you’re struggling to read the tiniest line or just love a good eye joke, these witty sayings bring laughter to your checkup. Ready to see the bright side of eye exams? Let’s dive into some playful vibes that make vision tests way more fun! 🎉👀😂

New funny vision test quotes 👇

All funny vision test quotes & images can be used for free for non-commercial purposes 👌

Funny Quotes Collections
✨ New Funny Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

17 shares on Telegram this month:

I’ll stop smoking weed when life stops smoking me.

31 shares on YouTube this month:

I don’t mind driving in bad weather. I mind other people driving in bad weather.

59 shares on Instagram this month:

I need a stunt double for when I’m navigating my way to the bathroom at night.

58 shares on Snapchat this month:

It’s all fun and games until it’s 10 p.m., you’re all cozy in bed, and you remember you still have laundry in the washer.

97 shares on TikTok this month:

An apple a day keeps the doctor away, but if the doctor is cute, forget the fruit.

43 shares on Snapchat this month:

The sexiest thing a man can do is have a problem-solving mentality.

28 shares on Telegram this month:

I’m not addicted to coffee. We’re just very close.

81 shares on X this month:

If you’re not easily offended, why are you even online?

47 shares on YouTube this month:

Metallica’s “Nothing Else Matters” is my favorite song about that 5 minutes of sleep before the alarm goes off.

27 shares on TikTok this month:

Hey (with the intention of making you forget everyone who came before me).

Trending Topics 📁

activity communication day food frustration fun humor i irony joke just know life love me media people procrastination relationship sarcasm social social media someone technology time want work

Hot Jokes 💥

13 folks are currently checking 👀

If you love someone, let them go. If they come back with snacks, it was always meant to be.

11 folks are currently checking 👀

You are what you eat! (If anyone needed more encouragement to eat the rich.)

13 folks are currently checking 👀

Wanna come over and see my mis-matched sock collection?

8 folks are currently checking 👀

The thing I bought on Etsy in 2017 has shipped.

9 folks are currently checking 👀

Forget my browser history, when I finally pass from this earth, please delete my calculator history because it’s way more embarrassing.

6 folks are currently checking 👀

I’m not saying I need glasses. But today I watched a bunny in a meadow until it flew away.

21 folks are currently checking 👀

People moaning and making noise over food makes me so livid I can’t keep it in.

24 folks are currently checking 👀

What if AirPods had tongues and they started licking the inside of your ears to indicate they’re low on battery?

21 folks are currently checking 👀

Some cause happiness wherever they go; others whenever they go.

24 folks are currently checking 👀

You can add tears while cooking if you don’t have salt.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

calculating…

Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Updated

Jan 31, 2026

Users Online

3,453

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇱🇮 has bookmarked:

After 25, you’re pretty much 30.

Someone from 🇹🇻 has downloaded:

Monday holds the record for being the worst day of the week.

Someone from 🇹🇬 has downloaded:

The fastest mammal on earth is the smartass on the web.

Someone from 🇹🇭 has shared:

Dear phone, if you didn’t light up so many times to tell me you had a low battery, you wouldn’t have died so quickly!

Someone from 🇦🇸 has shared:

God, I was so happy when I was 18. I wasn’t at the time, but in retrospect I was.

Someone from 🇫🇲 has copied:

Is it ‘My wife and I’ or ‘Me and my wife’? Anyway, we just robbed a liquor store.

Someone from 🇰🇲 has viewed:

Calm yourself, Lucifer. You did the right thing coming to me for advice.

Someone from 🇧🇧 has downloaded:

“AI is coming for your jobs!” I would love to see AI be unemployed.

Someone from 🇧🇮 has downloaded:

If someone ghosts you, respect the dead and never disturb them again.

Someone from 🇧🇷 has viewed:

Before they perfected the Q-tip, you have to wonder what kinds of horrific things went wrong with tips A-P.

Social Media Log 💫

Freshly posted on Twitch:

Stages of Christmas shopping: 1. There’s plenty of time. 2. Oh no!

Seen just now on WeChat:

Someone in their late 20s giving advice to someone in their early 20s is exactly like when a toddler is obsessed with a newborn.

Making waves on X:

I just tried on my summer wardrobe. The only thing I managed to get into was a state of panic.

Going bananas on Instagram:

The awkward moment when someone’s zipper is down and you don’t know whether to tell them or not.

Just shared via Facebook:

Why do flat earthers care so much? Like, what if the Earth is flat. What now?

Seen just now on YouTube:

Nobody’s more stubborn than an Android person that won’t switch to iPhone.

Trending via TikTok:

Life sucks. One day you have tiramisu, and then most other days you don’t. I hate that.

Making waves on Instagram:

It’s always “your monthly bill is available,” never “this month is on us.”

Just shared via Facebook:

Gay? We don’t use that word anymore. Person of rainbow.

Shared recently on Messenger:

Welcome to your 50s. You used to be a lot taller.

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