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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇸🇨 has shared:

You used to calm me on my cell phone!

Someone from 🇧🇼 has shared:

“I’m going to get more sleep tonight” is always the first lie I tell myself in the morning.

Someone from 🇧🇳 has downloaded:

I wonder how many new moms try to pick out a unique name for their baby only to later learn it’s the name of an antidepressant.

Someone from 🇬🇼 has downloaded:

If you listen to my husband snore, you don’t need Jurassic Park anymore.

Someone from 🇹🇲 has copied:

Due to personal reasons, I’ll be turning you into a poem.

Someone from 🇺🇿 has shared:

I actually check my emails every day in hopes I’m going to get some life-changing news someday.

Someone from 🇭🇳 has shared:

Twitter is the black sheep of the web, always in the corner, loudly arguing with itself.

Someone from 🇱🇮 has shared:

A person’s character can be read quite reliably from the way he or she interacts with service personnel.

Someone from 🇦🇹 has viewed:

Happy new fear!

Someone from 🇲🇱 has viewed:

Printers and computers treat each other like they broke up the night before, and you’re their mutual friend.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

0 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,269

Funny Quotes Topics

17,387

Funny Quotes Images

15,269

Updated

Dec 31, 2025

Users Online

3,600

Social Media Log 💫

Spreading quickly via Messenger:

My body snaps, crackles, and pops louder than my cereal.

Spreading quickly via Messenger:

Goodnight Outlook, goodnight Teams, goodnight Zoom.

Spotted on Instagram:

Kid, I have jeans older than you.

Just shared via X:

I may regret the megabytes I’ve wasted, but I’ll never regret the megabites I’ve tasted.

Shared recently on Snapchat:

A perfect metaphor for my life would be “Someone trying to stand up in a hammock.”

Making waves on Reddit:

The brand name Oral B is so funny to me. WTF does the B stand for?

Making waves on Twitch:

Had some plain yogurt with protein powder in it for breakfast, and not only is it high in protein and very filling, it’s also disgusting.

Freshly posted on Messenger:

That awkward moment when everything is going so perfectly… and then you wake up.

Just landed via LinkedIn:

Thought I was a minimalist, turns out I’m just broke.

Just landed via Discord:

Get off the internet and go sniff a flower.

Funny vs quotes

Funny vs quotes 😂🔥 are the perfect way to add some laughs to your day while dropping truth bombs! Whether you’re poking fun at healthy competition or just love clever comebacks, these witty lines bring humor and sass in equal measure. Ready to spice up your conversations and social feeds with some playful banter? Let’s dive into the funniest face-offs and verbal showdowns that’ll have you LOL-ing nonstop! 🎉🗣️✨

New funny vs quotes 👇

All funny vs quotes & images can be used for free for non-commercial purposes 👌

New Funny Quotes
🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

🎉🥂 New Year Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

85 shares on LinkedIn this month:

French fries are like the lifeboats on the Titanic. They never give you enough.

90 shares on YouTube this month:

One minute you’re young and wild, the next minute you’re into air fryers.

11 shares on X this month:

When you have the money, you can go a whole day without eating. But when you’re broke, the dizziness starts at 6 a.m.

44 shares on Discord this month:

If anything I post makes you mad, just know that it pleases me.

38 shares on YouTube this month:

Please just wait until my mating ritual is over before you decide.

46 shares on Telegram this month:

Elect a clown, expect a circus.

80 shares on LinkedIn this month:

Sorry, the deadline for complaints was yesterday.

41 shares on WeChat this month:

Today I was in a taxi, and the taxi driver said, “I love my job. I am my own boss, nobody tells me what to do!” Then I said, “Turn left.”

35 shares on LinkedIn this month:

The art of letting whoever think whatever.

43 shares on TikTok this month:

Romance level: At some point, someone comes by, sees me and thinks: “Oh well, my God, why not?”

Trending Topics 📁

activity communication day food frustration fun humor i irony joke just know life love me media people procrastination relationship sarcasm social social media someone technology time want work

Hot Jokes 💥

12 folks are currently checking 👀

The only things that are really cool in my company are my salary and me.

10 folks are currently checking 👀

Does anyone else stare at the dead body in movies to see if you can catch them breathing?

11 folks are currently checking 👀

Hell hath no fury like a toddler getting his nose wiped.

21 folks are currently checking 👀

I am a friend to all cats. Yes, even the mean ones. They have their reasons.

6 folks are currently checking 👀

I’m not gonna have a bad day. The day is gonna have a bad me.

24 folks are currently checking 👀

You are the wind beneath my overly sensitive, motion-activated floodlight.

22 folks are currently checking 👀

The best part of the relationship is before you meet them, and you’re single.

17 folks are currently checking 👀

It’s so cold outside I saw a gangster pull his pants up and walk stiffly.

10 folks are currently checking 👀

I don’t really care how you met your partner. Tell me about how you met your nemesis.

6 folks are currently checking 👀

Hug your children as often as you can. They can’t break things during this time.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

0 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,269

Funny Quotes Topics

17,387

Funny Quotes Images

15,269

Updated

Dec 31, 2025

Users Online

3,336

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇲🇷 has bookmarked:

If snails are so slow, why don’t we ever see them coming? It’s just BAM, there’s a snail.

Someone from 🇵🇹 has viewed:

Please don’t buy my book on reverse psychology.

Someone from 🇨🇭 has viewed:

All these deadlines, but it’s you I want to meet.

Someone from 🇵🇪 has shared:

I need a vacation, but the kind where everyone else leaves, and I have my house to myself for a few days.

Someone from 🇹🇱 has shared:

If you ever find yourself mad at me, put a cape on so you can be super mad.

Someone from 🇲🇾 has downloaded:

McDonald’s only giving me 9 Chicken Nuggets instead of 10 is how my villain origin story began.

Someone from 🇨🇲 has viewed:

Airport beer at 6 a.m.? No problem. The airport is a lawless place that is free from judgment.

Someone from 🇮🇶 has downloaded:

I’m not even doomscrolling anymore; I’m just regular scrolling, and everything’s doomed.

Someone from 🇦🇺 has downloaded:

Brain, I know you’re trying hard, but you are not doing a good job.

Someone from 🇮🇹 has downloaded:

Oh you won a gold medal at the Olympics? My watch just congratulated me for standing up.

Social Media Log 💫

Making waves on Facebook:

Hate when other parents at school drop off act like they’re better than me just because they remembered to bring all of their children.

Seen just now on Slack:

Sometimes you choose the GIF-war over your responsibilities.

Making waves on Facebook:

Ever woken up, kissed the person sleeping next to you and felt glad to be alive? I just did, so I won’t be catching this train again.

Seen just now on WeChat:

In an alternate universe, the hard way is always learning me.

Just shared via Pinterest:

Drivers seem to underestimate how willing I am to get knocked down at a zebra crossing to prove a point.

Seen just now on LinkedIn:

The problem with expensive things is that you tend to want them.

Freshly posted on Pinterest:

One of the most disappointing things is when you get a severe thunderstorm warning, and there is no severe thunderstorm.

Shared recently on Messenger:

My mind not only wanders, sometimes it leaves completely!

Freshly posted on Instagram:

I was meant to be rich, I can tell by the way I spend money.

Spreading quickly via YouTube:

Not to brag, but my best yoga pose is awkward facing dog.

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