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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇰🇿 has downloaded:

Whoever is dating my ex, all I can say is: cheat first!

Someone from 🇷🇼 has copied:

If you inject Botox into a raisin, does it turn back into a grape?

Someone from 🇬🇲 has downloaded:

Trying to carry a pet to bed is like moving a dense liquid that’s annoyed by you.

Someone from 🇭🇳 has shared:

Too young to retire, too poor to quit and too fat to strip – so let’s move on.

Someone from 🇲🇭 has viewed:

I’m not saying I’ve aged like fine wine, but I am currently being stored in a dark place and avoiding sunlight at all costs.

Someone from 🇭🇺 has copied:

There should be a three-day weekend: one day to do nothing, one day to do something, and one day to do laundry.

Someone from 🇮🇹 has bookmarked:

I don’t even want a new year this year. I’ll take a lightly used 2006, if it’s available.

Someone from 🇨🇬 has downloaded:

If I was pregnant and people asked when I was due, I would say “What do you mean?”

Someone from 🇮🇪 has copied:

Ask a man what a good woman is, and watch him describe a slave.

Someone from 🇸🇲 has bookmarked:

I would really like to meet this “other candidate” who keeps taking all the jobs I’ve been applying to.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

0 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,269

Funny Quotes Topics

17,387

Funny Quotes Images

15,269

Updated

Dec 31, 2025

Users Online

3,395

Social Media Log 💫

Freshly posted on Pinterest:

Chuck Norris can rub two fires together to get a piece of wood.

Just shared via TikTok:

My favourite thing about waking up at ridiculous o’clock is the solitude.

Going viral on Snapchat:

The train announcer just said we should keep our personal belongings with us at all times but I’ve left most of mine at home.

Going viral on Reddit:

Whenever I’m not eating a breakfast sandwich I wish I was eating a breakfast sandwich.

Spotted on Pinterest:

I took my kids to the zoo when they were small, I wonder how they are getting on now.

Going viral on Threads:

Lord, please take this gas out of my stomach and put it in my car.

Going bananas on Threads:

You ever killed your own vibe by remembering?

Spreading quickly via Messenger:

On the upside, my kids are helping with the dishes. On the downside, my kids are helping with the dishes.

Seen just now on WeChat:

I can’t wait til I have hearing aids, so I can just turn them off when I’m tired of hearing everyone.

Making waves on Snapchat:

Next time someone says “I’m a hugger” and tries to hug me I’m gonna say “I’m a biter” and see how it goes.

Funny wander quotes

Funny wander quotes bring a burst of laughter to your travel adventures 🌍😂 Whether you’re lost on purpose or just forgetting where you parked, these witty sayings capture the joy and chaos of exploring new places 🗺️🤣 Get ready to smile, chuckle, and maybe even snort as you embrace the lighter side of wandering far and wide ✈️😜 #TravelLaughs #WanderFun

New funny wander quotes 👇

All funny wander quotes & images can be used for free for non-commercial purposes 👌

New Funny Quotes
🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

🎉🥂 New Year Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

55 shares on Threads this month:

Welcome to your 50s. You used to be a lot taller.

24 shares on Telegram this month:

It’s hard to believe that this long, crazy election will finally be over in a few months.

99 shares on Reddit this month:

I’ve already broken all my resolutions and like four commandments.

99 shares on Snapchat this month:

My wife is refusing to bring me a beer. That’s it, gonna text her and say “I cannot believe how lazy you are”.

23 shares on WeChat this month:

The first step is admitting that the other person is the one with the problem.

50 shares on Twitch this month:

I want to clarify that what I publish on social media does not define me as a person; I am worse.

30 shares on Twitch this month:

A woman’s G-spot can be found at the end of the word shopping.

20 shares on Reddit this month:

Damn, didn’t win the lottery. It’s messing up my budget plan.

27 shares on Instagram this month:

This could have been an email. Me, while attending a wedding ceremony.

95 shares on WhatsApp this month:

Date night idea: fight another couple.

Trending Topics 📁

activity communication day food frustration fun humor i irony joke just know life love me media people procrastination relationship sarcasm social social media someone technology time want work

Hot Jokes 💥

14 folks are currently checking 👀

Set my sex robot to boyfriend mode and now it’s liking other girls’ pictures on Insta.

13 folks are currently checking 👀

Hobbies include fake smiling while waiting for people to stop talking.

23 folks are currently checking 👀

Watching Unsolved Mysteries and getting mad when they don’t solve the mystery at the end.

17 folks are currently checking 👀

I’ve realized there’s more to life than social media, so I guess this is goodbye for the next 12 minutes.

13 folks are currently checking 👀

If I ever say “with all due respect”, please understand that there is none.

13 folks are currently checking 👀

Doing taxes for an ant who inherited a teaspoon of sugar.

23 folks are currently checking 👀

I’ve got the longest to-do list for today, just need to figure out who is going to do it.

13 folks are currently checking 👀

You can eat cheesecake for breakfast if you want to. No one can stop you. The police can’t even stop you.

9 folks are currently checking 👀

It was so hot today, I thought I was going to be cremated.

10 folks are currently checking 👀

There should be a “Take Your Friend to Work Day,” so we can actually see what our friends do all day and meet the characters from all their work stories.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

0 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,269

Funny Quotes Topics

17,387

Funny Quotes Images

15,269

Updated

Dec 31, 2025

Users Online

3,324

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇫🇲 has bookmarked:

My DMs are always open if you want to talk to yourself.

Someone from 🇵🇪 has bookmarked:

All kids are born with a sixth sense that lets them know the absolute worst time to ask for something.

Someone from 🇮🇷 has downloaded:

Letting my wife sleep in a little longer for Mother’s Day before we wake her up and ask what’s for breakfast.

Someone from 🇬🇶 has shared:

Raise your hand if you’ve ever tried to breathe quieter while walking up a hill so strangers didn’t call 911.

Someone from 🇻🇺 has copied:

I have no need to judge people because of their religion, skin color or sexual orientation. Bad behavior is enough for me.

Someone from 🇩🇪 has copied:

My life advice is always the same. Wait for karma, but take up kickboxing, just in case.

Someone from 🇧🇳 has downloaded:

Of course your crush is going to leave their spouse for you. That’s how delusions work.

Someone from 🇲🇨 has bookmarked:

The most attractive thing a man can do is hitting his own head and repeating “stupid, stupid, stupid”.

Someone from 🇲🇹 has shared:

You can just enjoy kombucha. You don’t need to go on a tirade about cleansing your gut.

Someone from 🇵🇹 has viewed:

People found guilty of not using punctuation deserve the longest sentence possible.

Social Media Log 💫

Going bananas on Instagram:

“It can’t get any worse than this”, I lie to myself knowing it will absolutely get worse.

Seen just now on Twitch:

Humans are the only species that would cut down trees, make paper out of them, and then write “Save the Trees” on it.

Shared recently on Threads:

What idiot called it Catfishing your Tinder Contacts and not Playing With Matches?

Freshly posted on LinkedIn:

I must retire to my chambers about this.

Just shared via Messenger:

Where can one find a sugar daddy? Asking for a friend.

Spotted on Facebook:

I’m not shy. I just don’t like you.

Just landed via Instagram:

Body: time to fall asleep. Brain: hey, that’s an interesting thought, here’s six billion more.

Spotted on Telegram:

I hate it when some random company refers to me as their “customer.” I’m like, look, we had one night of drunken shopping, we are not in a relationship.

Just shared via WhatsApp:

This too shall pass. And then some other bullshit will come and take its place. It never fucking ends.

Making waves on Threads:

I have nothing nice to wear for the government shutdown.

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