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47 Funny wisdom quotes

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  • If I were a bird, I know who I’d poop on.

    Commentary:
    “Channeling my inner ‘aimbird’ 🎯🦜… watch out below! 💩😆”

  • I don’t rise and shine. I caffeinate and hope.

    Commentary:
    “When life gives you mornings, grab a coffee! ☕️✨ #StillSleepingInside”

  • If stress burned calories, I’d be a supermodel by now.

    Commentary:
    “With all these ‘workouts,’ I must be on the cover of Stress Vogue soon! 😅🧘‍♀️💥”

  • I followed my heart. It led me to the fridge.

    Commentary:
    “Who knew my heart was a foodie? 🍕❤️🤣 #FridgeGoals”

  • Some people graduate with honors, I am just honored to graduate.

    Commentary:
    “Graduated with a degree in surviving school! 🎓😅 #HonoredAndRelieved #BarelyMadeIt”

  • Someday I will make a sandwich that will change my life forever.

    Commentary:
    “Just don’t let it be the start of a long-term ‘bread’ relationship! 🥪🤣”

  • Eternal Sunshine of the Thotless Grind.

    Commentary:
    “Living that ‘Goals Before Rolls’ life! 😎💪 #KeepGrinding #SunshineForTheSoul”

  • Might quit my job to focus on summer.

    Commentary:
    “Finally found my dream job: full-time summer enthusiast! 😎☀️🍹 #CareerGoals”

  • Life is so exciting. I was in my bedroom and now I’m in the living room. Who knows where I’ll go next.

    Commentary:
    “Next stop: The kitchen, for my epic snacking adventure! 🚪➡️🍿😄”

  • Coming back to your own bed after a few days away is peak coziness.

    Commentary:
    “Ah, yes, my bed still recognizes me as its rightful owner after my vacation. 🛏️🙌😴 #HomeSweetBed”

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