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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇬🇾 has bookmarked:

I’m writing a book on the joys of drinking beer. So far I’ve been through a lot of drafts.

Someone from 🇾🇪 has viewed:

I need a day off from myself.

Someone from 🇫🇮 has viewed:

I eat my first meal of the day in the afternoon, bro. Don’t ask me for advice.

Someone from 🇦🇱 has viewed:

So many people these days are too judgmental. I can tell just by looking at them.

Someone from 🇹🇷 has downloaded:

Behind every great man is a woman rolling her eyes.

Someone from 🇰🇲 has viewed:

Have you ever accidentally opened your front-facing camera, and it ruined your day a little?

Someone from 🇩🇪 has copied:

Don’t scare me, I fart easily.

Someone from 🇲🇺 has shared:

I love being single because how could I explain a 2 p.m. – 5 p.m. nap on a Saturday.

Someone from 🇩🇿 has copied:

I always have a bad connection in my head when someone tries to explain a card or board game to me.

Someone from 🇾🇪 has bookmarked:

I didn’t get the part of the brain that lets you relax, just the one that overthinks.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

94 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,363

Funny Quotes Topics

17,479

Funny Quotes Images

15,363

Jan 2, 2026

3,599

Social Media Log 💫

Shared recently on X:

The volume of my TV is 100% dependent on what I’m currently chewing on.

Spotted on Slack:

Everything I like is either expensive, illegal, or wont text me back.

Spreading quickly via Telegram:

Before the internet, going viral meant your drawing made it to the fridge, and your sibling was furious.

Just landed via Telegram:

“I’m at a point in my life where I don’t go anywhere unless I absolutely have to.”

Shared recently on Snapchat:

My husband said we need to start exercising and get into shape, so I’m going to wake up early tomorrow and start looking for a new husband.

Making waves on LinkedIn:

Petition to add fitted sheet folding to the olympics.

Going viral on Pinterest:

My biggest sexual fantasy is someone throwing a million dollars on my naked body and then leaving me alone.

Trending via Snapchat:

Having Christmas off in the middle of the work week and then forcing us to go back to work the next day feels so illegal.

Trending via WeChat:

Don’t worry, I’m only dead inside from the waist up.

Broadcasted on Telegram:

The world is my oyster and I’m allergic to shellfish.

Funny Wise Man quotes

Funny Wise Man quotes bring a hilarious twist to timeless wisdom, blending laughs 🤣 with life lessons 🌟. These clever nuggets of humor and insight make you think 🤔 while cracking a smile 😄. Perfect for brightening your day or sharing with friends, they prove that being wise doesn’t mean you can’t be witty and fun 🎉. Ready for some brainy chuckles? Let’s dive into the world where smarts meet smiles! 😎✨

New funny Wise Man quotes 👇

Three wise men? I highly doubt that.

0

2 weeks ago

doubt, humor, i, joke, man, men, sarcasm, skepticism, three, wise, Wise Man
I set up a Nativity scene, but since baby Jesus hasn’t arrived yet, all the Wise Men are just looking down at their phones.

0

2 months ago

arrival, baby, baby Jesus, Christmas, humor, i, Jesus, just, looking, man, men, Nativity, phone, phones, scene, set, technology, waiting, wise, Wise Man
I set up my Nativity scene, but since baby Jesus hasn’t arrived yet, Mary, Joseph and all the Wise Men are just looking down at their phones.

0

2 months ago

baby, baby Jesus, Christmas, humor, i, Jesus, Joseph, just, life, looking, man, Mary, men, modern, modern life, Nativity, phones, scene, set, technology, waiting, wise, Wise Man

All funny Wise Man quotes & images can be used for free for non-commercial purposes 👌

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Social Media Stars ⭐

76 shares on Telegram this month:

Why is sugar SO addictive, and broccoli is just like, “I’ll be here when you need me”

31 shares on TikTok this month:

I need the youth to start reading. Even if it’s the tag on your underwear. Read it.

27 shares on Pinterest this month:

Haunted house idea: a poorly lit Walmart littered with people you haven’t seen since high school.

54 shares on WhatsApp this month:

Therapists probably have to struggle so hard not to ask to see pictures of the people their clients are obsessing over.

95 shares on Discord this month:

I can’t blame this generation too much for doing stupid stuff. My generation thought seven Police Academy movies were a good idea.

77 shares on Threads this month:

The Pope is the only employee who never gets to see his boss. Not even at the Christmas party.

70 shares on Facebook this month:

Whether you rip off a bandaid quickly or slowly, I find it’s best to ask the wearer’s permission first.

28 shares on Slack this month:

The longer I stay home, the more homeless I look.

79 shares on Twitch this month:

Is everyone enjoying their entire month of August off work with full pay? Oh yeah, I forgot, only Congress gets to do that.

29 shares on Snapchat this month:

My dentist plays country music, so it’s like a double torture.

Trending Topics 📁

Hot Jokes 💥

9 folks are currently checking 👀

I should go to jail so I can focus on the gym.

19 folks are currently checking 👀

Putting your wedding scrapbook in the little free library is an unprecedented level of divorced.

19 folks are currently checking 👀

I won’t be accepting any parcels for the neighbors in December this year. Last year it was all junk.

10 folks are currently checking 👀

My family asked me what I wanted for Mother’s Day, so I packed their bags and changed the locks.

6 folks are currently checking 👀

Traveling long distance without earphones feels like you’re serving a jail term.

23 folks are currently checking 👀

“It’s not that deep.” Of course it’s not. With a shallow mind like yours, nothing ever is.

13 folks are currently checking 👀

I was about to organise my closet, but I then I found what I was looking for.

8 folks are currently checking 👀

Telling a child not to touch something only ensures that child is definitely now going to touch that something.

10 folks are currently checking 👀

Instead of likes, we should get a little kiss.

10 folks are currently checking 👀

If it ain’t broke, my kids haven’t used it yet.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

94 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,363

Funny Quotes Topics

17,479

Funny Quotes Images

15,363

Updated

Jan 2, 2026

Users Online

3,617

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇲🇲 has downloaded:

The secret to a good marriage is that it’s all about give and take. Giving each other frequent back rubs and ordering lots of takeout.

Someone from 🇨🇦 has copied:

Floppy disks are like Jesus. They died to become the icon of saving.

Someone from 🇪🇹 has copied:

If I delete a tweet, I should disappear with it.

Someone from 🇵🇹 has bookmarked:

Elect a clown, expect a circus.

Someone from 🇨🇦 has copied:

But babe, that’s my emotional support Lord of the Rings Extended Edition.

Someone from 🇧🇯 has bookmarked:

It must be hard having an erectile dysfunction.

Someone from 🇰🇼 has downloaded:

My birthday wish is for everyone to ignore my birthday.

Someone from 🇹🇷 has shared:

The best thing about dogs is you can act like something really good just happened, and they’ll instantly start celebrating too. They have no idea what the context is; they’re just always ready to party, no matter what.

Someone from 🇱🇸 has downloaded:

You’ll be fighting for your life financially and that’s when all your toiletries finish at the same time.

Someone from 🇰🇪 has downloaded:

Starting to think I’m single because of everyone else’s shortcomings.

Social Media Log 💫

Breaking via LinkedIn:

I read all your bumper stickers and now we’re both stupid.

Just shared via LinkedIn:

I nearly broke my toe because the coffee table didn’t look where it was going.

Just landed via Discord:

Being in your 20s is crazy because, why did you stay with someone you were that incompatible with for that long?

Spotted on TikTok:

God, I wish I had enough money to discover it doesn’t make me happy.

Just landed via Reddit:

One person’s logic is another one’s “what the heck?”

Trending via X:

What I learned from Covid is that it’s basically possible to do all your work from home while drunk.

Freshly posted on LinkedIn:

Don’t check on your introverted friends this time of year. They’re probably turning their lights off and pretending they’re not home.

Going viral on Messenger:

“Real Housewives” is a great oxymoron because nothing about them is real.

Trending via Reddit:

All my passwords are protected by short term memory loss.

Spreading quickly via Slack:

Interpretive dance is the best way to answer stupid questions.

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