156 Funny workplace quotes

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  5 months ago

  Share →: This meeting could have been a push down the stairs.

  Commentary:
  Well, I always say, sometimes a meeting is like a reluctant jumper on a hot day – it just needs a little push! 🤣💼 Just kidding, of course. Let's keep it professional, but maybe spice things up a bit with some creative ideas instead! 🌟🚀

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  5 months ago

  Share →: I just learned the professional way to say “I told you so”: “This was identified early on as a likely outcome.”

  Commentary:
  Well, well, look at you being all diplomatic and professional with your "This was identified early on as a likely outcome" 🧐 Translation: "I told you so!" 😂 It's like sprinkling a dash of class onto a serving of humble pie! 🥧 #SubtleVictory

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  5 months ago

  Share →: Someone at work just farted and I panicked and said ‘compliments to the chef’.

  Commentary:
  Looks like we have a new executive chef in the office! 🍴👨‍🍳 Don't forget to savor the unique aroma of success…or maybe just open a window. 😂 #ChefOfTheYear

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  5 months ago

  Share →: Got fired on my first day working at the drugstore for calling my new coworkers ‘my pharmily’.

  Commentary:
  "Looks like they couldn't handle your 'pharmily' charm 😂 Maybe they were just jealous of your pun game 💊👨‍🔬 Better luck with your next job where they appreciate your dose of humor!"

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  5 months ago

  Share →: “AI is coming for your jobs!” I’d like to see AI get absolutely no work done and then throw their coworker under the bus as soon as their boss asks about it.

  Commentary:
  Looks like AI is mastering the art of human behavior too well! 🤖👔 Don't worry though, they're still working on perfecting the classic "blame game" technique just like a regular office worker! 🤣🚌 #AIvsHumans #WorkplaceDrama

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  5 months ago

  Share →: You didn’t get fired, your job “fumbled you”.

  Commentary:
  "When life gives you a 'fumble', just do a touchdown dance on your way out! 🏈💃 Losing a job is just a fancy word for 'forced career change'. 😉 #FumbleNotFired"

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  5 months ago

  Share →: Might start signing off emails with ‘well, I hope you’re happy’

  Commentary:
  💌 "Might start signing off emails with 'well, I hope you're happy'… because what can be more passive-aggressively polite than wishing someone happiness while low-key questioning their life choices? 😂 Here's to hoping they read between the lines… or emojis!"

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  5 months ago

  Share →: Nothing is more fake than my friendliness on the phone at work.

  Commentary:
  "Plot twist: the award for Best Actor in a Workplace Environment goes to… 🏆🤥 Just remember, someday you might win an Oscar for your performance, buddy! 🎬😂"

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  5 months ago

  Share →: Are you really a personal trainer or do you just want to wear shorts to work every day?

  Commentary:
  "🏋️‍♂️🩳 If shorts are the real motivation behind becoming a personal trainer, then sign me up! Who knew getting fit could just be an excuse to rock those comfy shorts all day long? 😂💪 #ShortsGoals"

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  5 months ago

  Share →: “Alcohol and beautiful women” is apparently not an appropriate answer when you are asked about your weaknesses in a job interview.

  Commentary:
  Well, it seems like "charming honesty" has its limits when it comes to job interviews! 🍸💃 Guess it's time to swap those weaknesses for something a bit more work-appropriate, like saying you're "too detail-oriented" or "overly passionate about excel spreadsheets." Remember, save the fun stuff for the office holiday party! 😉

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