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130 Funny workplace quotes

Remember, when asking for a raise, it is considered customary to be sober.

3 months ago

Petition to allow customer service employees to fight at least one customer per day.

3 months ago

Work meetings would be a lot more fun if they took place in a giant IKEA ball pit.

3 months ago

Texting my boss to let him know how excited I am for work tomorrow.

3 months ago

Show me in the employee handbook where it says I can’t make weird noises in my cubicle.

3 months ago

My boss told me to start every presentation with a joke. The first slide was my paycheck.

3 months ago

My company promotes diversity. We’d never hire twins.

3 months ago

Stay an extra hour in the office and no one cares. Arrive a few minutes late and everyone loses their minds.

3 months ago

Apparently “Spite” is not an appropriate answer to “What motivates you?”

3 months ago

Just a reminder that you’re not allowed to hit your coworkers. Even if they’re stupid. I asked. Twice.

3 months ago