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New funny quotes: 6 this month

15,831 funny quotes and pics

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Updated: Jun 2, 2026

 

 

 

 

 

227 Funny workplace quotes

Funny workplace quotes are here to turn your office chaos into a comedy show! šŸ˜†šŸ’¼ Whether it’s surviving meetings that could’ve been emails, dealing with quirky coworkers, or wishing for a vacation that’s *never* coming, these quotes remind us that the workplace is full of laughable moments. Who said work can’t be fun? šŸ˜‚šŸ‘©ā€šŸ’»ā˜•

Establish dominance at work by telling your coworkers they look tired before they get a chance to say it to you.

Posted onMay 21, 2026

Why would I spend money on the zoo when I can watch my colleagues for free?

Posted onMay 21, 2026

Replying to all emails with ā€œya think?ā€.

Posted onMay 21, 2026

Anyone who thinks office jobs are harmless has never cut their finger on paper.

Posted onMay 21, 2026

Anyone who deals with customers on a professional basis should be allowed to hand out one face slap per day.

Posted onMay 21, 2026

I have my own hand stamper at home so my coworkers will think I went someplace fun the night before.

Posted onMay 21, 2026

Imagine the carnage at an IKEA team building event.

Posted onMay 21, 2026

After an hour on this team meeting I’m not wanting to be a team player anymore.

Posted onMay 21, 2026

I feel like I should give my air conditioner a plaque for employee of the month.

Posted onMay 21, 2026

Start every meeting with, ā€œLet’s just agree to disagree.ā€

Posted onMay 21, 2026

Remember, when asking for a raise, it is considered customary to be sober.

Posted onMay 21, 2026

Petition to allow customer service employees to fight at least one customer per day.

Posted onMay 20, 2026

Work meetings would be a lot more fun if they took place in a giant IKEA ball pit.

Posted onMay 20, 2026

Texting my boss to let him know how excited I am for work tomorrow.

Posted onMay 20, 2026

Show me in the employee handbook where it says I can’t make weird noises in my cubicle.

Posted onMay 20, 2026

My boss told me to start every presentation with a joke. The first slide was my paycheck.

Posted onMay 20, 2026

My company promotes diversity. We’d never hire twins.

Posted onMay 20, 2026

Stay an extra hour in the office and no one cares. Arrive a few minutes late and everyone loses their minds.

Posted onMay 20, 2026

Just a reminder that you’re not allowed to hit your coworkers. Even if they’re stupid. I asked. Twice.

Posted onMay 20, 2026

“AI is coming for your jobs!” I’d like to see AI take a 30-minute poop right after clocking in.

Posted onMay 19, 2026

Jobs be asking me for 3 references, and I think I might start doing the same. Like, let me talk to 3 happy employees, please.

Posted onMay 19, 2026

Imagine working at Pornhub. At like the corporate office as a developer or whatever. White collar. That’s gotta be a weird job. Working there has gotta be bloody weird.

Posted onMay 19, 2026

Got sent to HR for calling someone a ā€œjellyfishā€ — just floating around all day, doing absolutely nothing.

Posted onMay 19, 2026

Actually, no one sees you at your worst like your coworkers do.

Posted onMay 19, 2026

My boss was like, “People working from home are just pretending to work,” and it’s like, dude, what do you think I’m doing in the office?

Posted onMay 19, 2026

A job interview is basically a conversation between two liars.

Posted onMay 19, 2026

Corporate life requires an ass-licking skill set I simply wasn’t born with.

Posted onMay 19, 2026

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