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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇺🇬 has copied:

Eat like your treadmill is watching.

Someone from 🇮🇱 has downloaded:

Despite popular opinion, dating apps are NOT for dating. They are for finding people to watch your Instagram story for years and years.

Someone from 🇲🇾 has bookmarked:

I think the key to happiness is having plenty of money and then telling all the poor people that money can’t buy happiness.

Someone from 🇵🇭 has viewed:

I use karate strictly as a last resort, after I’ve exhausted fleeing and screaming.

Someone from 🇭🇳 has downloaded:

God ate when he created sleep, what a beautiful concept.

Someone from 🇲🇹 has downloaded:

I like winter because I fundamentally understand I deserve to suffer.

Someone from 🇨🇴 has bookmarked:

Adulthood – a never-ending story of shit you have to do.

Someone from 🇫🇮 has downloaded:

I want to run through your dreams and settle in your nightmares.

Someone from 🇲🇳 has downloaded:

Your eyes water when you yawn because you miss your bed and it makes you sad.

Someone from 🇳🇱 has downloaded:

I don’t understand people who do things on weekends. You just did things all week. What’s next, more things? That’s how they get you.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

238 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,507

Funny Quotes Topics

17,572

Funny Quotes Images

15,507

Updated

Jan 6, 2026

Users Online

3,382

Social Media Log 💫

Live now on Pinterest:

Wolves are just dogs that nobody has called a “good boy” yet.

Just landed via Threads:

Really just want to meet someone who knows what songs not to talk over.

Just landed via WhatsApp:

I heard time is money, so I quit my job. Now I have lots of time!

Shared recently on Discord:

Statistically, 6 out of 7 dwarfs aren’t happy.

Broadcasted on WeChat:

The cool side of the pillow just stole my boyfriend.

Seen just now on Reddit:

I always make sure the garage door is shut. Wouldn’t want hoodlums stealing the stuff I’ve been meaning to get rid of for years.

Just landed via Messenger:

I think something is so beautifully wrong with you.

Shared recently on X:

I keep all my valuables near the front door so if burglars breaks in during the night they will not wake me up.

Just landed via LinkedIn:

I said when I retire, I would travel. I just didn’t expect it to be to the doctors.

Shared recently on TikTok:

Got fired from my job at the zoo because I kept trying to wax the turtles.

Outlook just asked me if I’m “enjoying” Microsoft Outlook. As if it’s not the Torment Portal.

0
Outlook just asked me if I’m “enjoying” Microsoft Outlook. As if it’s not the Torment Portal.
Download image ↓

Commentary:
"Outlook, the eternal questioner, daring to ask if anyone actually enjoys its chaotic charm. 🤔 More like the Torment Portal – where each click is a journey into the abyss of never-ending emails and calendar reminders! 😅 #OutlookStruggles"

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Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Social Media Stars ⭐

88 shares on WhatsApp this month:

What have I done to deserve this? Oh yeah, right, I remember.

67 shares on Twitch this month:

I think God’s next test for me should be, “Can he handle a ridiculous amount of money.”

82 shares on TikTok this month:

Why do birds love going apeshit first thing in the morning?

30 shares on Threads this month:

God ate when he created sleep, what a beautiful concept.

88 shares on LinkedIn this month:

It’s weird how horses can run so fast but still suck at every other sport.

87 shares on Threads this month:

Sometimes I wish I could turn down the volume on certain people.

17 shares on Twitch this month:

If you gain 4 pounds in one weekend, that just means you’re an overachiever.

80 shares on Facebook this month:

Spongebob wouldn’t even mess with some of y’all. But he’d hang out with me because my heart is pure, and I like to laugh a lot.

34 shares on Discord this month:

It’s not my job to police the internet, but I just saw someone post a recipe for cauliflower cookies and reported them for harmful content.

76 shares on Reddit this month:

Apparently, when you treat people like they treat you, they get upset.

Trending Topics 📁

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Hot Jokes 💥

21 folks are currently checking 👀

On the upside, my kids are helping with the dishes. On the downside, my kids are helping with the dishes.

12 folks are currently checking 👀

Today’s politics make me think we’re living in a movie where the villains actually win.

25 folks are currently checking 👀

Shout out to all you people out there who get asked if you’re okay a lot even though that’s the only facial expression you have.

10 folks are currently checking 👀

I like my coffee so strong that it wakes up the neighbors.

20 folks are currently checking 👀

When you scream into your pillow, the memory foam never forgets.

11 folks are currently checking 👀

Double chins are better than double faces.

16 folks are currently checking 👀

The science between bragging about a man and him disappointing you immediately after needs to be studied.

23 folks are currently checking 👀

Kissing while both wearing baseball caps is so hard. How do baseball players do it?

24 folks are currently checking 👀

I have had songs stuck in my head and I have had people stuck in my head, I highly recommend songs.

11 folks are currently checking 👀

Unlocking new levels of iron deficiency.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

238 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,507

Funny Quotes Topics

17,572

Funny Quotes Images

15,507

Updated

Jan 6, 2026

Users Online

3,399

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇬🇶 has downloaded:

Cooking your own meals really is the best way to devote 50 hours of your life every month to save $50.

Someone from 🇨🇳 has copied:

I love being left to my own devices. It’s like yeah, these are my devices.

Someone from 🇷🇼 has downloaded:

When I try to figure out rows vs. columns, I just row away in my boat of confusion!

Someone from 🇷🇺 has viewed:

Cowboy outfits should be called ranch dressing.

Someone from 🇱🇹 has bookmarked:

Dating is just wondering why someone is single and then slowly figuring it out.

Someone from 🇬🇳 has shared:

By now, we’ve all figured out that these LED bulbs don’t actually last 15 years, but we’ve collectively decided to just let it slide.

Someone from 🇹🇼 has copied:

Being weird never goes out of style.

Someone from 🇬🇾 has bookmarked:

If I was a fish, I’d be smoking all the seaweed.

Someone from 🇯🇵 has shared:

“It’s the most wonderful crime of the year!” I crooned running away with the pot of Santa’s donations.

Someone from 🇼🇸 has bookmarked:

Nobody calls you old more than people 2 years younger than you.

Social Media Log 💫

Just landed via Facebook:

You may find my attraction to Goofy weird, but I don’t give a hyuck.

Spotted on Threads:

Robot bartender rips me in half after listening to my problems for over an hour.

Live now on Messenger:

I once let a really short guy be the big spoon and it felt like I went to bed with a backpack on.

Breaking via LinkedIn:

Why do birds love going apeshit first thing in the morning?

Broadcasted on Twitch:

The hottest thing a man can be is boring in his 30s.

Going viral on LinkedIn:

I kind of can’t wait for my generation to be bumping 90’s hip hop, rap, and heavy metal at the old folks’ homes.

Spreading quickly via Threads:

Roses are red, I’m staying in bed. I’ve made no plans, besides pretending I’m dead.

Just landed via Instagram:

No ChatGPT for me, thanks. I will be asking Liam Gallagher on Twitter.

Shared recently on Instagram:

I overthink, therefore I am.

Seen just now on WeChat:

Our parents were right all along, the music is too loud.

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