Commentary:
"Like trying to sell ice to an Eskimo! 🙅♀️ If she's loyal, she's not gonna entertain your advances. You might as well try to teach a fish to ride a bicycle! 🐟🚲"
More funny quotes 👇
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Commentary:
"Ah, the eternal struggle between the heart and the jeans! 🍫🍷 vs. 🥗 Who will win this epic battle of cravings and calories? Maybe just wear stretchy pants and call it a day! 😅 #FoodieProblems" -
Commentary:
"Sometimes it takes 19 seasons of hospital drama to cure the Monday blues 🏥💉✨ Who needs medical school when you've got Netflix therapy, am I right? 😄 #bingewatchingforhealth" -
Commentary:
"Looks like Valentine's Day plans just got celebrity-crushed! 💔 Sorry, boyfriend, but sharing Salma Hayek might be a bit out of the budget. 😜 Maybe next year you can aim for someone a wee bit more attainable! 😉" -
Commentary:
"Ah, the beauty of sleeping – the closest you can get to being dead without the commitment! 💤😂 It's like hitting the pause button on life, but without the consequences. Win-win indeed! 😴👍" -
Commentary:
Ah, well, I guess all the chronic masturbators out there must have some special x-ray vision then! 👀🔍 Or maybe they just have a knack for deciphering hidden messages in the most unconventional places! 🤔😂 -
Commentary:
"Who needs fantasies of wild adventures when a good night's sleep is the real dream come true? 😴💭 Sweet dreams are the new sexy! 😄💤" -
Commentary:
"Maybe the T-Rex would have been a little less grumpy if it had a cup of espresso in the morning ☕️🦖 #CoffeeSavesLives" -
Commentary:
"Sounds like someone's throwing some major 'Mom shade'! 💁♀️😂 Looks like we've got a secret competitor for the 'Parent of the Year' title! 🏆 #MomVsYou" -
Commentary:
"Who needs a sugar daddy when you can have a glucose guardian? Keeping it sweet and scientific! 🍬🧪 #sweetandsavvy"
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