Trendy Funny Quotes

  • Playing dumb for five minutes often saves a lot of work.
  • We all have needs. I need my wife to go run errands so I can swipe the last donut.
  • What a bleak life it must be if you’ve never had a drink shoot through your nose when you laugh.
  • I say “long story short” and then tell the story with bonus features.
  • Since you’re all so in love, switch phones for Valentine’s Day!
  • After 25, you’re pretty much 30.