Bring me a higher love. You have 24 hours. No cops.

Someone from 🇺🇾 has bookmarked:

Therapy isn’t gonna cut it, I need vengeance.

Someone from 🇨🇫 has copied:

I once made the irresponsible decision to drink and drive and now I have to live the rest of my days with a coffee stain on my favorite sweater.

Someone from 🇱🇹 has copied:

I’m tired of adding ‘LOL’ to the end of my texts for sensitive people.

Someone from 🇵🇾 has downloaded:

I’m writing a book of obitchuaries for all the people who are dead to me.

Someone from 🇩🇰 has bookmarked:

Statistically, 6 out of 7 dwarfs aren’t happy.

Someone from 🇦🇫 has bookmarked:

There should be an opposite of Valentine’s Day where you post Instagram photos of your enemy.

Someone from 🇲🇱 has viewed:

Flour company: What if we sell it in a paper bag that’s not fully sealed at the bottom?

Someone from 🇲🇲 has viewed:

Having a job is cool, but everyday? Come on!

Someone from 🇱🇹 has viewed:

Don’t be afraid to ask questions during a job interview. It’s the best way to find out if the person you’re interviewing is a good candidate for the job.

Someone from 🇮🇪 has viewed:

I am “I can’t remember the last time I went out on New Year’s Eve” old.