Wordgag ツ

Commentary:
Looks like Cupid has upped his game with some urgent requests! 🏹💘 Who knew love could come with a deadline and a "no cops" policy? Better start spreading those love arrows before time runs out! ⏳😄

bring, cops, demand, hours, humor, love, me, relationship, time, urgency

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

Sorry, I’m late. I got caught up at home being happy.

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2 months ago

apology, being, being happy, caught, excuse, got, happiness, happy, home, humor, i, late, lateness, sorry
Petition to bring back payphones in public places. I don’t want to give my kid a phone, I want to give him a quarter.

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2 months ago

activity, back, bring, fun, fun activity, give, i, kid, nostalgia, parenting, payphone, petition, phone, place, places, public, public place, quarter, technology, want
If I ever get the death penalty, I hope “by chocolate” is an option.

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2 months ago

chocolate, death, death penalty, dessert, ever, hope, humor, i, irony, option, penalty, wish
I’m gonna dress how I want this summer, and if you think I’m fat, well, so do I.

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2 months ago

acceptance, body, body image, confidence, dress, fat, humor, i, image, self, self-acceptance, summer, think, want, well
Wonder if I should do something with my life, or kind of just continue to hang out.

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2 months ago

decision, hang, hanging, hanging out, humor, i, just, kind, life, life decision, procrastination, reflection, self, self-reflection, should, something, wonder
If Monday were available for purchase at IKEA, it would be called “Fekking Hell”.

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2 months ago

frustration, hell, humor, IKEA, joke, Monday, product, purchase, sarcasm, week

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Social Media Stars ⭐

44 shares on WeChat this month:

The husband, child, and dog are all snoring. WTF is this?

37 shares on WhatsApp this month:

Only here for the honeymoon phase, don’t show me your true colors.

66 shares on Instagram this month:

Zombies only eat brains, so you are safe.

84 shares on Pinterest this month:

Giant-sized bag of candy: I’m resealable. Me: That won’t be necessary.

93 shares on YouTube this month:

The sexual tension between me and the person I’m not supposed to have any sexual tension with.

64 shares on LinkedIn this month:

All my favorite activities involve a mattress.

60 shares on Slack this month:

At the end of the day, the day is going to end.

43 shares on X this month:

Having a job is crazy. When you’re at home, you feel lonely and want to go to work. When you’re at work, you’re exhausted and just want to go home.

64 shares on WeChat this month:

Worst part of being in my 20’s is to be reminded that I’m actually in my mid-40’s.

81 shares on X this month:

Can’t think of a single time the MGM lion advanced the plot of the movie in any way. Just needless jump scare.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇨🇾 has bookmarked:

I’ve broken all my New Year’s Resolutions so now I’m moving on to laws of nature.

Someone from 🇵🇰 has bookmarked:

My unemployed neighbor with an unlimited firework budget would like to wish everyone a happy 9th of July.

Someone from 🇨🇩 has copied:

People are like lottery tickets, most of them are losers.

Someone from 🇪🇹 has bookmarked:

I wonder how biology explains that pain in your chest you get when you found out your partner cheated on you.

Someone from 🇹🇳 has shared:

Pretty sure the guy in front of me at McDonald’s ordered the rest of the food.

Someone from 🇰🇬 has bookmarked:

Got so emotional thinking about the Toy Story aliens. They have each other.

Someone from 🇷🇴 has shared:

Last Christmas, I gave you my heart, but the very next day, Guantanamo Bay.

Someone from 🇰🇬 has downloaded:

“Don’t shoot your gun at the hurricane” the government says. I’ll do my own research, thanks.

Someone from 🇹🇻 has viewed:

To save money, you really just gotta stay at home.

Someone from 🇲🇬 has shared:

If you hide the Easter eggs while you’re drunk, nobody knows where they are.

Social Media Log 💫

Trending via WeChat:

Can you imagine being a 7th grade girl and being able to see your crush’s bedroom during Zoom math class.

Trending via Snapchat:

Okay, I’ve proved I’m not a robot, now you prove you’re not a human.

Making waves on Slack:

Last Christmas, I gave you my heart, but the very next day, Guantanamo Bay.

Freshly posted on Discord:

Nobody flirts better than a girl with zero interest.

Live now on YouTube:

I recently discovered “movies.” They’re usually like an hour and a half long, and a pretty good way to kill time. Check it out.

Shared recently on TikTok:

She’s got style, she’s got grace, she crams french fries in her face.

Live now on Threads:

I think one of my biggest hangups in getting better at Spanish is that speaking with the correct accent makes me feel racist.

Making waves on Facebook:

May life treat you exactly the same way you treat servers, store clerks, senior citizens, children, and animals.

Shared recently on Telegram:

Imagine sex with me. No, not like that, you’re doing it all wrong!

Seen just now on Telegram:

You can fake an American accent all you want, but “literally” will expose you.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

Bring me a higher love. You have 24 hours. No cops.

Related Funny Quotes 🤝

Sorry, I’m late. I got caught up at home being happy.

Petition to bring back payphones in public places. I don’t want to give my kid a phone, I want to give him a quarter.

If I ever get the death penalty, I hope “by chocolate” is an option.

I’m gonna dress how I want this summer, and if you think I’m fat, well, so do I.

Wonder if I should do something with my life, or kind of just continue to hang out.

If Monday were available for purchase at IKEA, it would be called “Fekking Hell”.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨