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A frittata is just an omelette for people too lazy to flip things.
Jan 19, 2025
My life is a constant cycle of waiting for the weekend.
Jan 19, 2025
Everybody has a girlfriend and a boyfriend, and I'm over here like "I love food".
Jan 19, 2025
Sane is boring.
Jan 19, 2025
I'm not sure how long my body can handle this "getting out of bed early in the morning" nonsense.
Jan 19, 2025
Can we start the weekend again? I wasn't ready.
Jan 19, 2025
Best threesome: me, my bed and my pillow.
Jan 19, 2025
Please don’t tell me how bad your life was growing up, we had to manually roll up our car windows.
Jan 19, 2025
Before I die, I’m going to arrange for a friend to take my phone, and after the funeral, text everybody to say “thanks for coming” and other assorted messages of appreciation.
Jan 19, 2025
Occupation: the ugly friend!
Jan 19, 2025