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I want time to sit and read, take a nap and snack. Basically, I want to be in Kindergarten.
Jan 19, 2025
No, no, I'm listening, it just takes me some time to process so much stupidity all at once.
Jan 19, 2025
Husband and I were blissfully happy for 25 years. Then we met.
Jan 19, 2025
Pleasing everyone, that's impossible. Making everyone angry, piece of cake!
Jan 19, 2025
Thank you for the opportunity but I don’t think being human is a good fit for me. I’m going to go back to school to become an octopus.
Jan 19, 2025
A 12 step program but it’s just me getting off the couch.
Jan 19, 2025
Making food: 1 hour. Eating food: 20 seconds. Washing dishes: never ending.
Jan 19, 2025
You’re in his DMs, I’m outside his window with a JBL speaker streaming Taylor Swift.
Jan 19, 2025
She was my chai, I was her cake rusk.
Jan 19, 2025
At my next job, I'm gonna lie about having a kid so I can leave the office anytime I want like everyone else with children.
Jan 19, 2025