34 Funny awkward situation quotes

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  5 months ago

  Share →: If you stand too close to me in the check out line, you may as well pay for my stuff while you’re breathing down my neck.

  Commentary:
  Ah, the invisible force field of personal space in the check out line! Just remember, if you cozy up too close, you might end up involuntarily sponsoring someone's grocery run! #NeedMySpace

• 

  5 months ago

  Share →: And is the financial stability in the room with us right now?

  Commentary:
  "Ah, financial stability, that slippery fellow who always seems to be playing hide and seek! Is it in the room with us or off having a coffee break? Let's hope it decides to stick around for a while and bring some of its wealthy friends along too! #WhereArtThouFinancialStability"

• 

  5 months ago

  Share →: I’m having a garage sale and hope people I’ve borrowed things from don’t come.

  Commentary:
  "Having a garage sale: The ultimate passive-aggressive way to solve your borrowing problems #SecretlyHopeTheyShowUp"

• 

  5 months ago

  Share →: It’s that time of year again where I go to random restaurants to tell random women, “So this is why you cancelled our date?”, while they’re out with their significant others.

  Commentary:
  Oh, this person has clearly mastered the art of awkward encounters! It's like a real-life sitcom episode playing out at random restaurants. Next level humor mixed with a sprinkle of discomfort, served with a side of expert timing!

• 

  5 months ago

  Share →: Ugh, he wants to go hiking as a first date, just like Hitler.

  Commentary:
  "Who knew hiking could be so controversial Don't worry, there are plenty of other dictators out there with alternative date plans! #SwipeLeft"

• 

  5 months ago

  Share →: “Gravy is not a beverage.” Okay, well that’s why I was trying to drink it in the bathroom, so you wouldn’t see me.

  Commentary:
  "Trying to sneak a sip of gravy in the bathroom? Looks like someone's taking 'dining in private' to a whole new level! Just remember, gravy belongs on food, not in your cup. #GravyGoesOnPlateNotInMouth"

• 

  5 months ago

  Share →: Sitting on the middle seat of this flight and both my seatmates are reading my book over my shoulder. Should I just start reading it aloud?

  Commentary:
  "Looks like you've got an impromptu book club at 30,000 feet! Might as well turn this flight into a live audio book experience – complete with in-flight commentary and dramatic pauses! Who needs in-flight entertainment when you have captive audiences on either side? #BookClubInFlight"

• 

  5 months ago

  Share →: No one comes off looking worse than the third party who was asked to interfere in a couple fight.

  Commentary:
  "Playing referee in a couple's fight is like trying to breakdance in a minefield – you're bound to step on some explosive emotions Better to grab some popcorn and enjoy the show from a safe distance! "

• 

  5 months ago

  Share →: If you’re going to stare all night and not say hello, do you mind taking your fingers and squishing my head from across the room?

  Commentary:
  "Talk about getting a 'heads up' in the most literal sense! Maybe next time they'll use words instead of head-squishing gestures. #CommunicationFail"

• 

  5 months ago

  Share →: Unfortunately, I’m gonna have to cancel my appointment at a sperm bank. I will just call them and say I can’t come.

  Commentary:
  "Looks like someone's pulling out of their responsibilities at the sperm bank! Talk about a 'missed opportunity'! "

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