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119 Funny before quotes

They should make a separate airport for people who know how to act like they’ve been out in public before.

3 months ago

Saw an article on “100 things to do before you die.” Was surprised Call 911 didn’t make the list.

3 months ago

Before I start seeing a psychiatrist, does anyone like me crazy?

3 months ago

Me, one week before the new year: Not to brag, but I have enough money to live comfortably for the rest of the year.

3 months ago

Very confusing that gross pay is before tax. I always find the number way grosser after tax.

3 months ago

When you have finished reading this funny quote, you will be a little closer to death than before.

3 months ago

It’s completely absurd that Silicon Valley is pushing AI on us before they figured out how to keep fries fresh for longer.

3 months ago

Before they perfected the Q-tip, you have to wonder what kinds of horrific things went wrong with tips A-P.

3 months ago

I’ve decided to cut my carbs… into smaller pieces before eating them.

3 months ago

Some of you need to clean your room before you take a selfie.

3 months ago

I just need a day between everyday… to recover from the day before… just so I can prepare for the day coming.

3 months ago

Not to brag, but I was unhinged way before it was cool.

3 months ago

Friendship is when you don’t tidy up before visitors arrive.

3 months ago

A.I. should be forced to wait tables before it’s allowed to make art.

3 months ago

Whispering to paramedic before I pass out: save me, but not enough that I have to go to work tomorrow.

3 months ago

I’m not deleting my Twitter, I was here before Elon.

3 months ago

If we start dating now, we could be feeding each other deviled eggs on Thanksgiving, and breaking up before we have to exchange gifts for Christmas.

3 months ago

The sun really clocks out for the day before I do. That’s insane.

3 months ago

Sleeping in in winter is really great, you still have about an hour of daylight left before it gets dark again.

3 months ago

Call your family now and ask them what the wifi password is, so they have time to find the little paper it’s written on before Thanksgiving.

3 months ago